Don't Become This Guy

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My money is on either myself or kenm...

I don't think I'd ever actually do that to a girl...

I want to know what type of food I've been gorging myself on that's made me emotionally and intellectually fat. Genetic research aside, I'm not really aware of anyone who has come out of the womb obese. Coincidently, in the average case of being overweight that people tend to think of it. One of the potential ways to rectify the situation is well known and not a secret. Eat less, exercise more.

I don't think it is so obvious and black and white when it comes to neurological differences. If it is, I would like directions to the Asperger's gym.

OK, but if you're going to attempt to draw some rational conclusions, you need a control group. What about the thousands of times somebody gets 'that vibe' and the other person *doesn't* turn out to be a psycho killer?

Eventually, there may be no need to speculate as at least some of the women he knew will want to tell (or sell?) their story. Whether they tell the genuine truth, or edit in a good dose of hindsight remains to be seen.



Fair point. I believe a lot of misery and suffering is the result of unrealistic expectations. Not helped by an ever-present media continually stimulating our greed, envy and lust.

"Spoiled Westerner Disease" is an apt way of putting it!

Well I hope this guy burns in hell for what he did. I can see how the guy may feel. But there is NO EXCUSE for killing people outright. What he did was pure evil.

Like I said before, I may rant on here alot. But I know some things are just going too far. I'm trying not to let things get to me so I can look at things differently. But its hard and will take time.

Nah.

I realized this in year 2003, way back in my pre-WP days. I knew that I had little or no chance of finding a girlfriend anytime in the near future, due to my poor social skills, very unattractive face, and an out-of-shape body (the last one bothered me much less than the other two). Needless to say, my frustration level was rising day by day. But at one point I asked myself: which girls are likely to be in the same situation as I am? So I did what my friend call "lowering your standards", and started approaching overweight, plain-looking girls. This plan took a year or two to become fully effective. (Apparently, my social skills needed to improve before I could date.) But after that, I started dating on a regular basis, all because I was willing to get over myself, and date the girls I knew I had a chance with.

In my opinion, this is far better than wishing for the "hot" girls I not only can't date, but also have no right to date. Sure, "have no right" might sound too strong. But as an aspie guy, I know I have to take what I can get and be thankful for it, as opposed to trying to do something truly unachievable. The legend of Sisyphus's labor comes to mind here. As punishment, gods made him push a rock up a mountain over and over, only to have it roll back down each time, forcing Sisyphus to try again. So, trying to get a hot girl to date me is like pushing that rock.

But of course! And I'm glad you came round. NT men do this all the time. It's their actual secret. While they would love to be with Angelina Jolie...or a hot chick who isn't famous, they can be very pragmatic. They do the same cost/benefit analysis you did and decide that being alone is considerably worse than being with a not-hot girl. Perhaps part of the problem is that some AS men have done the same cost/benefit analysis and come up on the other side: that being alone is preferable to being with a not-hot girl. God knows, that's the gruesome calculus that George Sodini used. If he couldn't have a young, hot gym babe even though he was 48, then by God he would have no one and kill 'em all! Other men say, 'meh, that 48 year old divorced woman looks ok to me, now that I'm 48 too. I'd rather be with her than be alone.

I disagree with this... It's two different problems, if AS was just an aesthetic thing like being too skinny or bald... but I think I understand what you're saying. And lots of fat girls get laid easily... depends on how fat I guess, but 90% of black men love overweight women.

Maybe Aspie1 has a point. I have worked pretty hard on getting physically fit and I don't think I'm ugly (maybe I am wrong) but this does nothing to get you a relationship. Maybe we should all just start going after fatties. Whenever I go on dating sites I get nothing but fat chicks. Maybe it's a sign that I should start banging them despite the lack of attraction. That sounds kind of cruel but it seems like you are f****d no matter what you do.

This guy had a house, job, car, savings, was not ugly... He said he didn't get any for 20 years.... (and he was not into fat girls). I'm willing to bet he was by all accounts an average guy for most of those years... Otherwise I think he would've got insane much faster.

I have to give the warning right now (no, not a forum warning, a personal one): don't engage yourselves incomparing yourselves or how you feel to this guy. Its pure junk-thought. On a lot of levels you are what you identify yourself with, therefore I think anyone who can really relate to this guy should really work on all the labels that they have tagged on themselves and tagges on their reality - those labels are a prison, largely one shoved down your throat back in school no doubt but as an adult your in a position to throw it off and dictate to the world that you'll define yourself and everyone else can **** off. I don't think being abused by life or even being denied by the opposite sex endlessly in many cases is a choice, I do think however that falling down often is and its a tragedy beyond words when people don't get the traction to one day wake up and figure that for everything they've been through, everything they've seen, that there isn't someone inside who's pride and dignity is worth fighting the currents of the outside world for.

I don't think it has to be one extreme or the other, man. There are plenty of guys with interesting jobs that are not boring or domestic - such as cops, paramedics, firefighters, etc. - who still have girlfriends or wives. Firefighters in particular tend to be very popular with a lot of girls, yet they still have interesting jobs that probably wouldn't be characterized as low stress, boring, or domestic jobs.

He already was in hell and had obviously been there for many years. If what he write is genuine, he really didn't understand why. All well and good for everybody to use their perfect hindsight after the event and say "well, obviously a psycho, I always knew it". Yet he states several times that *nobody* ever told him to his face anything other than that he was a good guy etc etc.

What strikes home here, is that the same thing has been posted by many, many here, male and female alike. "I am constantly rejected, but nobody will tell me what I'm doing wrong".

Falling back to "hoping someone burns in hell", while understandable, is only rhetoric. We need something more if we sincerely want to prevent this kind of thing happening again and again.



If you're dealing with the available evidence (yes, I always wanted to be a detective...) , nowhere does he say that hi is "only after young girls". He mentions that he notices them at the gym. He mentions he see 20 somehting couples and has regrets that he'll never be part of that. He feels rejected by ALL age groups. Nowhere in *that* document is there any real evidence that he is only attracted to 'young gym babes'. You must have picked that idea up from somewhere else.

Great minds think alike . The cost/benefit analysis is what led me to the truth, or to be less melodramatic, to the methods are serving me well today. I always believed that I should take what I can get, because some experience is better than nothing. Think about this: what do you really benefit from choosing a hot girl over a plain-looking one? Fame? Social status? Ego boost? Those are NT values! While there's nothing wrong with embracing them, it seems kind of hypocritical to denounce NT unwritten rules, yet fall for the same traps. As an aspie, you have the ability to pick and choose what social values you want to adopt, rather than do everything your subconscious mind tell you to. Use it!

I put it this way:

Being antisocial is not exclusive to ASD. In fact an ASD person may be just avoidant rather then antisocial meaning dislike of people. They may just prefer their own company. I know I haven’t seen my two friends for over a month, I'm not climbing up the walls in rage. Ok I might find some people a bit tiresome, but I don’t have to see them. People always want what they don’t have. I used to be very withdrawn and isolated. I worked hard to get out of that and eventual made two good friends and it brought me joy. But to be honest I could probably live in a wilderness right now and get buy.

People who are going through some mental torment are likely to have other mental ailments such as depression. I put my money on being a cocktail of factors.

People often turn to extremes. It is either their entire fault or all everyone else’s fault. Or 'society' as often referred to, but the fact is these problems existed way before 'society', rather then being a product of ‘society’, it is ‘society’ that is an effect of our nature.

Evidence please? Is it coincidence that the US has the highest rate of 'these problems'? Surely many societies have existed on earth where nobody goes postal? Much as our society has done it's best to wipe them out when it finds them.

I'm not advocating murder, especially of women, but I do feel that the motives of suicidal murderers are often trivialized. Many of them do it to punish society for certain behaviors in defense of other people like them. This was the basis of Cho's shooting. He told us, "Because you have gone so far to wreck my life, I will punish you, and punish you fiercely, so that when another Cho comes along, you'll have second thoughts before tormenting him." His shooting was, in part, based on empathy for certain people and social groups.

If you ask me, I think one reason people have gone on these suicidal killing sprees is that our society is such a merciless torturer of ugly people. When we wake up and get past the phase of sexual sadism, the number of shootings might decline.

It would also strike me as ironic if some of the same people who embrace egoistic ideals (Happy Bunny, who says, "I know how you feel, I just don't care," comes to mind) and tell people to "stop whining" suddenly took moral offense to homicidal retaliation.

In the grand scheme, a murderer might not even want violence. That murderer may simply not have wanted the conditions for his violence (e.g., bullying) to have arisen to begin with. It may be a fallacy to confuse two wants.