Human Touch

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a pathetic retort.

Care to elaborate why? Or too judgemental and claiming the moral high ground to reply?

If the poster is lacking people skills, this helps. If the person need sexual release, this helps. If the person wants to 'role play' dating scenarios to gain comfort, this happens. If the person wants to ask questions and get some fairly honest opinions, this is available. If the person is unattractive, it doesn't matter.

If the poster wants to try the online dating scene, blowing hundreds of dollars on dates which *may* lead somewhere, that's their call.

But a read of the subject drives my response. Its not an ideal world, and we are not ideal people. The typical solutions are typically going to fail.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with the "escort" route either. In my original response, I indicated the use of a massage therapist (licensed or unlicensed) or a bodyworker (usually unlicensed). These professionals use touch therapeutically (but do not engage in sexual contact with their clients - i.e. no sexual intercourse, oral sex or 'manual release (code for "hand job").

An escort could still provide a reasonable service is they are willing to provide touch in a safe manner and in the manner that their client wants (some people with AS are ticklish and need controlled pressure). They can hug and caress and even provide some practice in social skills. Prices will vary, but t this service will most likely be more expensive.

Some escorts may actually appreciate the client because having actual intercourse with clients all day can be tiring. This would be something that the escort could do during their menstrual cycle (when standard sex is usually not offered to other existing clients). For some more liberal information regarding the services of paid professionals such as escorts - I would recommend Dan Savage's site (of Savage Love - the sex advice columnist). He advocates the respectful role of a paid sex worker - including safety for both worker and client and adequate financial compensation for the worker.

Unlike the fantasy that is oft told - there is NOT someone for everyone. Some people will go months/years/a lifetime without touch/sexual contact without the services of a paid professional. As long as the services are between CONSENTING ADULTS there is nothing wrong with it.

If this type of service is desired, then certainly check into it by calling an established agency and stating your needs. The only person's morality that should be considered is that of the person who is contemplating using this service. If the idea genuinely feels uncomfortable, then respect your feelings and boundaries. If the idea feels comfortable - then consider the risks and benefits and do proceed as you see fit and pay the nice consenting adult escort for what you need.

seeing that humans are so deprived of touch, someone started a web site and activity called a Cuddle Party. check it out: dubdubdub dot cuddle party dot com

omigosh, that emoticon looks like Stewie from Family Guy

i would never pay money to someone to pretend they love me.

prostitutes do not generally pretend to love.
they engage in sexual acts which are separate from love.
most hookers won't even kiss because kissing is too intimate.

My life is the same. This one girl hugged me one time though and I have always liked her since. Maybe to much so. I do feel a need to hold something though. I guess that is why I have my little sister's little stuffed animals to hug me. Laugh if you want, but feels nice.

Thanks for replying. We aren't looking for surrogate love here, but trying to understand (and help) someone with issues of personal contact and sexual relationships. Few relationships last if the foundation is not firm, but for many people, getting enough experience to be able to stride confidently and pursue a relationship is tough.

It's like your first job, it's generally nervous until you get it. Once you have worked, you then gripe about something else.

Arguing for prostitution and escort services seek to alleviate the anxiety and remove that part from the equation. Once the person becomes comfortable and realizes what a person of the opposite sex is (and isn't) it's easier to then identify and focus on other problem areas.

Do you pursue prostitutes/escorts for relationships? Generally the answer is no if you began as a client. But this is a "general" rule. Confidence and a lack of jealousy would allow you to do so.

Good discussion and options.

Sensory overload.

Human touch is a need that never goes away. It's a proven fact whether an Aspie believes it or not. There was a time when I didn't believe it, but I've moved past that phase.

Before I started meeting other tactile signers, I didn't crave human touch like I do now. In the early 1990s, I was happy having absolutely nobody in my life. But, then again, I was a little boy in the early 1990s. I just had a birthday. Now I'm 27 and have had adult responsibilities for 9 years. I just can't be like I was in the early 1990s again in this lifetime.

In 2000, I was forced to socialize while in treatment at the Buckeye Ranch in Grove City, OH. At least I knew some sign language then (I know far more now), so not all my forced socialization was with non-signers. They did not touch me, though.

In 2001-2002, my best friend (at the time) insisted I accept hugs from her and her boyfriend. Because they said many caring things to me, I felt loved when they gave me hugs. But then on 8/2/2002, I started meeting tactile signers, and grew dependent on their touch by the time I began using tactile sign receptively on 2/26/2003. When a tactile signer receives communication, that's a touch that I go ahead and count. I call it the "listening touch" involved in tactile signing. I also notice that tactile signers give me hugs as part of support & comfort more than anyone else does. And that makes me feel more loved when another tactile signer gives me a hug than when anyone else does.

Of course in the early 2000s, I was still living in Ohio, and the Ohioan tactile signers pushed me away the very next night after my grandfather died. I began counting the days of no contact with them, and stopped counting on the 1,000th day, even though it ended up being 1,937 days by the time the woman in Santa Ana, CA who I used to call my best friend saved me on 5/1/2009. She & I recently decided it makes more sense to more people to call each other "brother & sister by endearment" or "adopted brother" & "adopted sister" respectively. But like I said, The Great Escape Oh Nine FLOPPED and I got stuck back east for 14 months (August 2009 - October 2010). In 2003, all I was getting were hugs & the "listening touch" involved in tactile signing.

But in September 2009, one of the physically DeafBlind tactile signers I met happened to be single, & we met at the home of one of our mutual friends in Bay City, MI. We signed to each other tactile both ways, gave each other many long hugs that were tight but comfortable for us both, and even CUDDLED. All that combined is the best human touch experience in my life so far, breaking the previous records in 2003.

After each touch, we'd ask each other in tactile sign if it felt good and give each other an honest yes or no answer. But only twice the answer was no, both from me to her and her back to me. All the other times the honest answer was YES. I was telling my partner, "Don't stop! Every way you touch me feels so very good! Don't stop! Feels good!" But now, I've gone 441 days with no cuddles . I NEED a new cuddle partner !

Don't worry, everybody...as with the previous heartbreak, I'll stop counting on the 1,000th day, even if I still don't have a new partner yet. I just feel like I have to keep reminding myself I can't have one until tactile signing is popularized among HEARING blind people, Auties/Aspies, & people who have sensory processing disorder. Most physically DeafBlind people are 50 or older.

My partner in September 2009 was in her late 30s...lucky me. In 8 years of trying, I have never really had successful, long-term friendships or relationships of any other sort with those who are physically DeafBlind. But because tactile signing IS beneficial to people with other conditions, I should find a cuddle partner who uses tactile signing due to one of those other conditions.

If it's your working hours that are an issue why don't you, leave your job and become slef empolyed?

You'll be able to set your own hours and stuff, whitch is why I'm setting up my own market stall and ebay acount.

And if you are worried about going bust, well so could the Company that you work for (I'm assuming that you work for one) that could go bust anyway.

The way I see things is this, as long as you earn enoutgh money to live (and hopefuly be happy) then you are going to be fine. You don't have to be super rich, in order to have food on the table or to have a roof over your head.

I would have added that it is ok to also (reagardless of your gender) to just get together with a rich guy/girl and be a 'kept woman' but that does not seem like your kind of thing so I'm going to assume your going to go for the former. As it does not matter how you get your money, just so long as it's not ill gotten.

If it's OK by you I'll be leaving this tread as I want to assume that you took my advice and lived happly ever after even if this is not the case.

Also to anyone who reads this please don't tell me what this poster did afterwards as I'll be happier with the ending I've made up myself, rather than the (posible) unhappy option that she may take otherwise.

Goodbye and although I won't see you next time, I wish you the best of luck and that I hope that you take whatever part of my advice that suits you best.