A theory of being Single

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well the point to life thing is just my oh-so-humble-bumble opinion.. "you can do it your own way/if it's done just how i say"

anyways.. yeah well i think my genes are superior... if aspergians never existed, humanity would still be in caves, dragging their women by the hair... so i think we should pass on aspergian genes for the good of humanity... think of the children!

I agree with you. We as Aspies are more inclined to challenge the social behaviours and short-term "survival skills" that have held human evolution back and driven cultures and societies to their inevitable destruction.

The problem that I have, the spanner in the Darwinian works if you will, is that "survival of the fittest" would surely dictate that our males would have by now progressively developed the ability to pull chicks. That's all...

well... i think the whole "survival of the fittest" thing is misunderstood by most people... it's better stated as "those that survive are the fittest"... which is sorta a truism, but that's the way it is...

anyways, the "spanner" isn't really a problem here... the NT's are more successful in finding mates... but aspies are also quite successful because women are attracted to wealth and power, and in this area, aspies aren't at a disadvantage due to their intelligence... maybe... i don't pretend to know how it works.. look at homosexuality for example...! it shouldn't exist, but it does, and pretty consistently at 10% of the population for as far back as anyone can tell... it even exists in 450+ animal species...!

It's not as simple as that. Although "survival of the fittest" clearly applies on an individual basis (such as when prey is running away from a predator), there is also the idea that competition exists between species and we are winning because of our diversity. Humans have a lot of recessive genetic traits that persist in spite of the fact that they often cause trouble when they combine together. Sometimes there is a bizarre benefit to balance that trouble (such as people with sickle cell anemia being immune to malaria), but another theory is that these recessive traits actually serve a purpose by creating martyrs -- people who provide an evolutionary benefit to the species as a whole even though that random branch of the evolutionary tree is itself doomed.

That's a complicated way of saying that autistic people may have an the evolutionary purpose other than giving birth to more autistic people. That doesn't mean that we are less valuable than NTs. It simply means that our value to the species is in *US* and not in our offspring.

Steve_Cory asked:

1) Is it any longer moral to even bring children into this chaotic world?

My experience: I've been through the marriage mill. It was a dysfunctional relationship and a living hell I'd never wish on my worst enemy. We did have 1 daughter and by the looks of things she is turning out fine -in fact I feel blessed that her life's path is turning out the way it is turning out. She hasn't inherited any of my Aspie traits (but her child / children could). My ex and I mutually agreed to divorce by the time she turned 5 and was clearly affected by the turmoil that prevailed. There was an adjustment period to our daughter's growing up in the cares of one parent but it was the best thing it turned we did for her. She lives with her mother in another city but she knows we both love her as our child. She is doing well in school, is very sociable and makes friends easily, and had a namazingly sharp nose for sniffing out society's rats and other things bes avoided. I keep in touch with my daughter by phone and e-mails and I get to see her 4 - 5 times a year. I've since been snipped-nipped-tucked to preclude having any more.

2) Would I want to save a LOT more money by staying single, the way I am?

My experience: During our marriage we lived like gypsies. I wanted to stay put but could never hold jobs anyway in those pre-AS awareness days. My wife was the one who wanted to move all the time. In the end we did buy a house but resold it at an enormous loss. We had achieved all our goals but still hadn't found what it took for her's as well as my fulfillment. During our time together she wore the pants and was ALWAYS there like a praying mantis every time I came home with a paycheque. I'm still paying a mortgage on a house I don't have anymore and will be doing so for some years. What counts now is I am in control of my money now. Once that debt is paid up I plan to take up travelling overseas.

3) Romance takes up a lot of time in life. Am I willing to go through all the cliche steps and small-talk, or would it be best to just avoid everything having to do with romance except for observing it from Television?

My experiences: I've met many women, gotten close to some, had one-night stands with some, been deeply in love with a few, and married one. For the one I married I was a trend breaker in that all of her prior relationships were with men of questionable virtue. It was a learning experience. Let's face it: NT's have it naturally easier and are more successful in the dating game than we Aspies could ever dream. OTOH there is always that rare gem of one that comes along and -it's like your eyes meet, the two of you get chatting up, and it's like you're hitting off without even trying. It just... happens. There have been two or three in my past like that whom I admit never giving a chance to see what could have been -but that was way before finding and arresting a demon named Asperger
That being said, I do not rule out falling in love again, but she will have to understand I'm as free-spirited as that bug on my avatar

I know that in the UK at least, there are more single people than ever before. You don't have to read the papers, or watch the news for very long before seeing/hearing reports that we can't build homes quick enough for all those choosing to live alone. There's certainly a lot of pressure on available, affordable housing from all the singletons.

More people are certainly finding it advantageous to be single. Yet at the end of the day, it's human instinct to mate and to procreate. And personally, singlehood has had much more cons than pros, in my own experience.