Signs of the "not potential partner"-zone.

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ROFL. People are a lot more varied and flexible than you seem to grasp.

Yeah, yeah, I know, this leads to, "Well why wasn't the b***h willing to be flexible for me then?" Because men are not fungible. You're clearly not getting that.

Fungible I never heard of this word before what does it mean?

To me if someone says " I am not ready for a relationship." Means "I am not ready for a relationship, with anyone."

If the person feels that me and them are not compatable that way, then say "I don't think we would be good for each other." Or something like that. Don't say you are not ready for a relationship then the next guy you meet you jump into a relationship. To me thats lieing and being misleading. They did not state what the felt and was dishonest.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fungibility

Fungibility is the property of a good or a commodity whose individual units are capable of mutual substitution. Examples of highly fungible commodities are crude oil, wheat, orange juice, precious metals, and currencies.

Fungibility has nothing to do with the ability to exchange one commodity for another different commodity. It refers only to the equivalence of each unit of a commodity with other units of the same commodity.

It has to do with relationships in the manner I mentioned above in the example given. Most often when people are angry in any way about not being able to find a romantic partner, they are making the mistake of thinking other people are far more alike, and far closer to interchangeable, than it is possible for people to be.

If someone says they're not ready for a relationship right now, that means that every sort of relationship they believe to be possible is something they realize they are not ready for right now. It's an honest statement of the truth about themselves.

But people find out all the time that there's more variation to people and to relationships than they ever would have dreamed. Finding new information -- that someone can offer you a relationship you didn't know was possible -- changes the truth about you. It's no longer the same as last week. Now you consider the new type of relationship, and decide you might be ready for that.

The statement that a person who changes their mind in this manner MUST have been lying implies that it's not possible to find out that "relationship" can mean something other than what you believed before, and that it's not possible to meet someone different in a critical way from anyone you thought was out there. It presumes a sameness and interchangeability in people that just does not exist.

So she meets a guy that totally changes her state of mind in a week? This is after I was trying for months and this new guy comes along and she decides to jump into bed with him and not me? All of a sudden her so called issues go away when she meets this other guy.

This has happened to me more times then I can count. I was mislead and lied to, no sugar coating it.

Ahhhh, I see. I apologize. Yes, if this has happened to you many times, you were probably being lied to for most if not all of them. I'm sorry I misunderstood.

I can tell you why, if you're interested. It's not because they were meanies picking on you, or messed up, or anything of the sort. It's because you scared them. They said whatever they thought had the best chance of getting you to back off and not go all stalker-creepy-raging-hothead on them.

Nobody owes you the truth if they think you might hurt them or stalk them. Nobody owes you the truth about why they don't want to date you, ever. The only thing you need to know was that the answer is "no".

Then say "no, i'm not interested." That is alot better then being misleading or saying "I just want to be friends" to let you down easy. I was told by some women that they just want to be friends, when they really meant they wanted nothing to do with me. Then when I want to stay friends with them, they get upset when I contact them. I thought friends want to hang out and all that. Mean what you say and say what you mean. I am sick and tired of people being misleading and dishonest.

I have had a few women just tell me flat out they are not interested. I have alot more respect for them then all the others that was misleading and dishonest.

I am not asking for the reason on why they are not interested in me. All I am asking is that they just say "no, not interested." Don't say you have "issues" when you don't, don't tell someone you want to be "just friends" when you want nothing to do with them. Just tell the person no and be done with it. Anything else is dishonest.

Anything else is dishonest, yes. But your expectations are unreasonable in the light of what these women are facing. They have to endlessly guess what response will least likely respond in violence or stalking or both. They are doing the best they can to survive. Their safety is more important than being honest with you.

I'm honest with everyone. If I feel people are not honest with me, I feel very slighted and disrespected. If I catch someone in a lie I am more upset about being lied then whatever reason you thought it was was to justify the lie.

I don't feel that is too much to ask for. There is never a good reason to lie to anyone. In fact I think in a relationship situation, it makes it worse when you lie. When you tell someone you just want to be friends, it usally mean you still like to hang out, do stuff together, but not be romanitc. But I have found that alot of women say they want to be friends but the really mean they don't want anything to do with you. Then those same women get upset when after they said they want to be friends, you still talk to them and all that. But if they just said "no, I don't want a relationship with you, please leave me alone" Then I would leave them alone. Like I said before I have alot more respect for women that are honest then the ones that lie and send mixed messages like that. They are the ones thinking by not saying it directly we will get the message. But all women do when they are not honest is make it worse, IMO.