Does it get easier to get girls in college?
Sure, no problem:
Promising future = you have a major in college and a plan to get a job or career (even if you change your mind later, which happens to all of us) after college. You care about your grades and how you do in school/university.
Winning Personality = Be a nice, positive person. It's ok to have an edge to you, but know your audience. Don't harp on negative things. Also, resist the urge to do the PUA training or anything like that -- it just comes off as fake and insincere, and women can smell that a mile away on a guy who isn't used to pulling off that kind of B.S. (the ones that do are quite practiced). Also, don't change your interests to win a girl. You can try to expand your interests, but at the end of the day, you gotta be you, and find a girl who works with your personality type.
Ability to make them feel loved = Once you do get a bite on your line, take it slow, and don't just pursue sex. Be nice, pay attention (but not too much attention). Women like to be touched in a lot of non-erogenous places, their arms, their necks, their shoulders, and even their hair (under the right circumstances, not right after they just spent an hour getting it down). Touch is important, and I "sealed the deal" several times with neck massages and shoulder massages.
Like I said earlier -- it's not going to be super easy at this age, because there is a lot of competition and women, at this point in their lives, are essentially in a seller's market (with them being the sellers). What you do have going for you is free time (assuming you don't work while you go to college), a period in life where women are less fixated on the future than they will be (and thus more likely to take a chance or go for a whim), and you're in a point where everyone is making new friends and transitioning away from their high school friends.
You'll also be a lot more likely in college (assuming you don't go to a mostly guy college like TOS) to find a woman whose personality fits your own. College has a lot more women, is a lot less socially tiered/silo'ed, and more equal opportunity for dating.
Looking back 11 years now or so, I think I learned these lessons:
1. Be yourself, but be the shiny version of yourself, not the "letting it all hang out" version. Watch what you say when you meet people, and resist the urge to say too much or to be too honest (though don't be a liar either). Sometimes less is more in conversation. Someone who holds their tongue is often thought to be smarter or more sophisticated than they are.
2. Meet more people than you are comfortable with -- always meet more people.
3. Don't get hung up on trying to get one or two specific girls, especially if the signs are not immediately promising. A much better strategy is to meet as many women as you can, be yourself, and see who is interested and who is compatible. Some girls will just never be won over, and are a waste of your time.
4. Watch out for users -- men and women -- who use your time and resources without equal reciprocation. Cut users out of your life, and find those who give back as much as they take out.
5. Don't depend on the dorm, your classroom, or work to meet girls. In all 3 cases, people are there not exactly by choice, but because they need something. You want a social situation where the people around you aren't forced to be there - you have the greatest chance of meeting the right person in a voluntary social situation.
6. Shy/quiet girls are more likely to follow through, be "intimate" more quickly, or be sincere, than flashy/loud/attention-grabbing girls. Many women have a lot more going on in their personal lives than meets the eye, and shy women may actually be quite wild behind closed doors. Loud/obnoxious/party girl types often are "attention wh*res" specifically because they need to be -- they may very well have issues or psychological trauma that prevents them from having a normal emotional or physical relationship, which is why they overcompensate to get attention. You have to think to yourself -- why is she selling it so hard? If they oversell, it's probably too good to be true.
7. Watch out for things that are too good to be true. I can give more detail on this one.
I should note this. Most women in college are less likely to be looking for a future husband. They may date/have a relationship, but it is unlikely they will be interested in committment, especially if you are going to a prestigous schools.
Colleges are no longer marriage mills. If a woman is there is she is not thinking about meeting a future partner, that is something one worries about after college.
You need to realize you are in a world where women marry late if they are smart enough to go to college. You are also significantly behind just based on having AS. Its a social and communication disability at its core.
You need to worry about your education now, and establishing your career. Try to date, but do so with the thought that you will probably not be meeting your future partner. It takes years to establish that type of relationship these days, and a woman may find it offputting if that is what you are looking for it at this stage in your life.
No, it doesn't. In college you're expected to be a lot more socially and emotionally distant from your instructors and classmates than you will in high school.
The attitude you are expected to adapt to in college means that you will have lots of time for quiet contemplation, hard work and trying desperately to get everything right just the way your professor wants it, and very, very little time to make friends or seek out a relationship.
Because your interaction with fellow students will be minimal to nonexistent, I would say that it is in fact harder to "get girls" in college.
That said, join a club or program on campus that you're interested in, make friends, and maybe, maybe you'll find a girlfriend. Not guaranteed, or even that likely, but there will be a higher chance.
The attitude you are expected to adapt to in college means that you will have lots of time for quiet contemplation, hard work and trying desperately to get everything right just the way your professor wants it, and very, very little time to make friends or seek out a relationship.
Because your interaction with fellow students will be minimal to nonexistent, I would say that it is in fact harder to "get girls" in college.
Dunno about that -- I don't remember being that pressed to impress or please my professors, and I went to a pretty good college. Also, sometimes it pays to be more chummy and/or participate more in class, because it gets you attention from your classmates and helps people notice you (but don't go overboard and end up sounding like Brainy smurf). It probably depends on your major, but even in general Ed classes, you'll find that you may have to do group projects.
Also, I found there was still plenty of time to play PC games, drink, party, etc., so don't feel like it is going to be one long grind. College is fun!
That said, join a club or program on campus that you're interested in, make friends, and maybe, maybe you'll find a girlfriend. Not guaranteed, or even that likely, but there will be a higher chance.
Great advice here -- I would actually say this is one of the best ways to find a girlfriend, in or out of college
It's not as hard as it seems once you get into a habit of doing it. Girls rarely ever make the first move, and even when they do, if you're inexperienced, there are good odds that you're going to sabotage whatever attraction they had to you within the first several minutes. Hell, you might even land a date with one of these brave female souls, and if you didn't f*ck it up earlier, you will certainly f*ck it up here. I have many times, and it's been because I completely did not see the signals that were basically screaming "make a f*cking move" and I didn't.
On one of the first dates I ever went on my date was congruence testing the s**t out of me by saying "I could always drop out of school and become a model because I'm so cute don't you think?". Well, I responded to that by saying "yeah, that's an option" in a serious business like tone, which was about the most ret*d thing I could ever have said in that situation. What I should've said was "what become a hand model?" then pretended to examine her hands or said something like "yeah, you're pretty adorable but your elbows are too pointy, so you should stay in school." Either one would've tripped some attraction switches or at the very least something like "hmmm, what is the deal with this guy? i'm hot god dammit and he's not acknowledging it!"
I got in almost literally the same exact situation with a similar girl a few days ago and I kept correcting her that she couldn't possibly make up for my awesomeness level by being so cute whenever she brought it up and boom makeout 15 minutes later on the first date with a cute lesbian girl who swore off men. I also didn't put off getting in close physical proximity with her and did it about as soon as I felt appropriate. Unfortunately, she's moving to Canada very soon and nothing is going to come of this
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I'm convinced the entire difference in the outcome of these two situations was due to what I learned from all of the girls I approached between girl A and B. Everything from the approach body language, to what I wore, and to what I said was totally horrendous on the date with girl A and it blows my mind she put up with me for another date after the second. If I knew what I know now, she would've been the easiest lay ever (not an insult, but that's obviously what she wanted and I didn't provide it) and would've been great girlfriend material. Girls will only go so far in their pursuit of you.
Get good at talking to them and being comfortable around them by approaching as many as you can in areas where there are large groups of random strangers (don't do it too much on your campus until you're good at this because there are going to be some hilarious failures within your first 50 or so and you don't want to bump into those girls again). The girls that approach you are the keepers and by doing this you will assuredly never kill what initial attraction they had to you before you opened your mouth. It's simple to say just be friendly with these girls, but if you've got AS like me (autism runs in the family and I got diagnosed w/ it by a licensed neuropsychologist), you literally won't know what that really entails unless you do it by trial and error over and over and over. Besides, if they're attractive and you don't see their signals, they're just going to get frustrated with you and move onto one of the other ten dudes interested in them.
I'm sure I'll get yelled at again for this post, LOL.
QFT; while we may disagree elsewhere, the necessity of experience and reality of spectacular failure are two points that we seem to agree upon.
M.
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My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
