"It just happened?"

Post Reply New Topic

back in the Jurassic when I was a young woman, I would know in about 5 minutes if I was going to go to bed with the man I just met. After that, it was just a matter of time. So you can have all the pre packaged pick up lines you want, all it does is pique interest and give a social opening for what is going to happen, anyway.

How the hell are you supposed to be able to know that within 5 minutes? It takes me months to figure out if I love somebody and years to get comfortable enough to the point that I would want to sleep with her.

BlueMage - I never said I was looking to have sex without doing any work. I'm just saying, if a woman wants sex with a guy, why the pretense? That was my point. I know the answer...women have to put on a show and pretend the sex "just happened" and that they were seduced, not that they wanted sex as badly as the man. I don't like pick-up community, but they make a good point when they call this "anti-slut defense." Women have a reputation to maintain and if they just showed up and had sex, word would spread that she was easy.

Toad - We get it. You want someone to cuddle with and you don't comfortable being romantic or sexual with someone unless you know them for a long time. No need to keep repeating yourself.

As for me, you women are seeing firsthand what it's like being a guy. The REAL me doesn't even care about "really hot women"...it's just a way to for nature to try to trick me into reproducing. I'd be lying if I said, nature or not, biology or not, I had no interest in women or sex. Far from the opposite. But when I make venting threads like this "Why are people getting easy sex and I'm not?" this is me blowing up.

Love and sexual passion do not always have to coinside, ToS. I could just tell, is all.

*It was a very different time back then. Unprotected sex did not equal death, and after dependable birth control became available the general population was relatively free of STDs. Having been raised on a lifetime of 'good girls just don't' if you ever did then you were not a 'good girl' anyway so that sort of teaching backfired and you were actually free to make your own decisions on who you'd do. It is important not to judge with 21st century sensibilities what social change was happening in the 1960's . . .

Range, women do not have to "put on a show" to pretend they don't want sex. It seems to me that men tend to be the ones slinging around negative labels like "slut" and "easy" in our society. (True, women say those things too...but when women say it, it's often not because they think the woman actually has a casual attitude toward sex. Instead, it's typically because they're trying to confer that negative label on another woman).

But women have other reasons for seeking to limit the number of sexual partners they have: unwanted pregnancy, STIs (many of which can last a lifetime), and sterility (caused by STIs). Sex isn't just about expression of sexual freedom or desire. Sex is definitely taking a calculated risk with your health, and even with your life. It's in a woman's best interest to be selective.

Love does not equate to sex. I can tell if I am going to enjoy a movie generally within the first few moments; based on that, I make a decision to watch the rest. That doesn't mean that things won't go off plan - theatre might catch fire, projector could break, could get sick... many things. But my intention is set. From what I read in Merle's response, that seems a rather apt parallel. That it takes you "X" amount of time to reach a certain stage while it takes "Y" for another doesn't mean you're broken or deficient... it means you're different, and more than likely you won't be dating the same types of people. That's all. But perhaps it will serve as an example of how your own preconceptions and protective barriers are more restrictive to you than the number or types of people around you.


M.

Disregard most of what I said here. I stand by some of it...that women have a reputation to maintain and also don't want to feel easy to themselves but that doesn't concern me. I'm fighting for a cause I don't even believe in. This was a pure venting thread on my part, and why I apologized for it because I feel I'm better than that.

I agree with the last poster. For me, much like a movie, I can tell by watching the trailer or the first 10 or 20 minutes of the actual movie whether or not I'm going to enjoy the rest of it or at least want to see the rest of it and find out if I'll enjoy it.