Obsessive Crushes

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I wish I didn't have a fixation on anyone here.

Online obsessions can be fun, particularly if you're obsessing over someone who lives close to you. I've met two people IRL who started out as online obsessions. Luckily for me, in both cases they liked me and we ended up in a weird but wonderful offline relationship.

Online obsessions have only ever proved to be disappointing when I actually meet the person. The people i've met seemed to set a standard for people that date online and now i'm sceptical of ever meeting anyone decent who wants to date online.

I have just found out that an obsessive crush may be the reason my grades in high-school are dropping... I simply cannot get the person out of my thoughts.
On the other hand I disguise my crush well. I doubt that she (or anyone else) has realized that I'm having a crush on her. But I still think that I act "strange" towards her, that's just my nerves killing me.

One-way romances suck.

Don't even get me started; the nature of my obsessive crushes borderlines stalking in its intensity (though I am not a malicious person). There was this one girl I liked, though in retrospect I don't know why because beyond her intelligence and physical appearance she was a psychotic b***h. Eventually she tells me to get out of her life and to stay away from her and her sister (why she even mentioned her is what confuses me...), and I am confused. I try to figure what went wrong, I try sending her some messages online 8 months later asking "what the hell happened" and then she says "leave me alone, if you don't stop trying to contact me I'll get authorities involved." So I then tell her to go f**k herself and in I don't think I've been the same since...

...so what I do now? I doubt actually phoning or AIMing her would be a good idea ("HOW DID YOU GET MY CELL PHONE?! !?" "Maybe if you weren't such a drunken slut you wouldn't have posted it for the world to see on Facebook!"), and I've been wallowing in self-hatred for too long. And I don't want to try anything disturbing like using photos of her for rifle practice.

My crushes can be enormously obsessive. I've 'gotten off' on nearly every girl I've ever had a special interest in. For me it's a matter of determining if I truly have a crush on a girl, or if I just wanna bang the crap outta her. Not an easy thing to do.