Question About Looks

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I've never been in a relationship, but I do find it easier to be around people who look a certain way, qand this would probably be pretty big factor in who I go out with. Someone's body doesn't concern me whatsoever, and the average idea of a hot face doesn't appeal to me. Almost everyone I talk to has fairly soft facial features and look welcoming/shy as opposed to intimidating or loud, even though a few of those people are in reality closer to the latter. I'm pretty much too scared to talk to anyone else, so... Yeah. Ideally though, I'd go out with somoene who doesn't look intimidating, and eyes that make them look like they are a nice person are a definate must-have. Odd how I have standards on how someone looks when I make quasimodo look like Miss World.

OK...Fair enough.

I have to say it, looks aren't as important to me as a personality and intelligence... looks fade with the years, the personality and intelligence of a partner doesn't as much and will keep my interest longer than if only based on looks. A guy or a girl could be great looking but have a pathetic personality while another is plain looking and has a personality that overshadows their looks.

I am in favor of looks but they are totally unnecessary for me to be attracted to someone. There is something in the way a man carries himself, his mannerisms, that attracts me more than looks. Ugly men have been attractive to me as well as good looking ones. Personality and chemistry beats all. Haven't you ever felt so totally turned on talking to an aquaintance and thinking to yourself, "Gosh, he's really ugly but so amazingly magnetic!" or not?
The stereotypical good-looking types do not really attract me. So predictable.

Looks are completely unnecessary for me to find a girl attractive. In fact, I repeatedly said that I'm more attracted to plain-looking girls. Lately, however, I've run into conflicting situations. There are a few "hot" girls at the place I work, and they seem pretty nice. At least they say "good morning" back to me and willingly respond to the small talk I make by coffee machine. That often confuses me: I've been conditioned to expect bad things from hot girls, yet those people don't seem to wish me any harm. "What's up with that?", I often ask myself. Did I learn the social skills enough to at least resemble NTs? Or did they become more mature since high school (or even college), and can now appreciate aspie qualities? Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to add up. Can someone explain it to me?

Elementary my dear Watson...some conventionally attractive women are actually really nice people too.

Just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they are a soulless b***h, although you'd never know it talking to other people. The shock and awe people respond with when nice looking girl is friendly baffles me, they aren't any different than anyone else there are plenty of rude/jerk people who are butt ugly, and plenty of rude/jerk people who are beautiful. Perhaps the people who have trouble approaching "pretty" girls have it because they have stereotyped every woman they meet ahead of time and treat her according to their idea of what she must be like.

Amen.

I know people that are horrible looking and have the worst most nasty personalities under the sun. I also know average looking people with the same problem, and attractive people.

I"ve actually found attractive girls to be more friendly, in my experience..

It's called self-esteem. Attractive people are more likely to have it, but so are plain/ugly people who know they have something else to offer. Anyone who's ugly and shallow, doesn't. But one way or another how you look at yourself is how you see and treat other people.

I voted Somewhat important, but I've been attracted to women who people would think aren't particularly attractive, but I found them very attractive for reasons other than looks generally.

is it? So in your opinion ugly/plain/average people aren't capable of having horrible personalities? What is wrong with you?

You can't just say all of them use self esteem as an excuse for their awful personalities.. alot of common/plain looking people have no reason to be self concious, they have a lot of friends, and boyfriends.

To me, looks aren't everything, believe it or not, a lot for me, is how she smells, or the sound of her voice, I have to be able to stand being around them, without their perfume making me sick, or the sound of their voice making me want to pop my eardrums. As far as looks, I'm more into particular features.

A horrible, debilitating, life-destroying condition called Having An Opinion Someone May Not Agree With Syndrome (HAOSMNAWS).



I never said anyone uses low self-esteem as an excuse for their personality. I'm saying that anyone I've met that's rude, arrogant, manipulative or whatever else you'd consider "horrible" is invariably also tragically insecure and therefore totally distrustful of people who anyone who shows them basic, human respect. As for their friends/BFs/GFs...it's not hard to have quantity if you're prepared to play superficial head games but it takes genuine self respect and decency to have quality. So that's no signifier of self-esteem at all.

I see, but not all of them are insecure, some of them are just nasty.