Complimenting a girl

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I'm going to say something that you won't believe:

I would say that people--even though they have their "moments"--are generally happier in the "third world" than we who live in the "first world."

They lead hard lives--but they are extremely resourceful in how they obtain their happiness.

I have no doubt in what I say.

they have the benefit of more social homogeneity than we do, IOW they are primarily working class not having to endure the friction with interaction with the haughty middle class. and what middle class exists therein is more safely removed from the presence of the working class and the visual reminders of the working class' continued presence, and the associated latent fears that the middle class folk too could lose everything and sink down to the level of the struggling hordes. that is where a lot of unhappiness comes from in America at least.

Trust me: they have to endure much. There's a "rising" middle class in Ghana, for example. In many countries, people have to bribe officials to get their birth certificate. Or to even drive to another city other than their own.

But people in the "third world" are resourceful in how they obtain their happiness.

Frequently, they don't think about the macrocosmic bleakness. They only think about their microcosmic lives. They don't have much time to philosophize over things.

IOW they can pause in their chores and smile at a flower

So could we.

Yes, but that doesn't come down to flattery with compliments. Most of the third world won't do our type of dating either, where compliments are a huge part. In fact, people can get very happy even if they are paired with the help of family, and don't do any dating or matching traits at all. Looking at the relationship failure statistics of the West only confirm that our relationships are the most dysfunctional in the world.

Besides, a few generations ago people were happy for the small things, not because of compliments. Just as we aspies can be very happy with small things if we only allow ourselves to be.

I'd rather say that compliments and presents are the major contributors to our dysfunctional relationships.

If the compliment-presents are given for "ritualistic" reasons, because of obligation--then yes, I would agree with you.

If the compliments and presents are given in sincerity, I would then have to disagree with you.

mine were sincere and still I was read the riot act.

Tell them to shove it up their you know what!

Most people wouldn't read you the "riot act" if they were any kind of substantial person.

I couldn't really tell my boss [a female] to shove it up her wazoo. working in a hospital I had complimented a patient on her nail polish, as it was quite artfully applied. the offended patient said not a word to me but complained bitterly to my boss. she said I "sexually harassed" her with that comment. I replied that from now on, if the patient's fingernails were on fire I would say not a word. in fact, at that point I would not piss on them if they were on fire.

I find that most asinine, frankly.

The patient obviously had mental issues.

That's why it's so hard in health care these days--they investigate every little thing--and it's guilt until proven innocent.

I know a few people in the field.

but mebbe the people with "mental issues" [borderline/sociopathic traits] are the ones running the show?

I thing I could say about you, AuntBlabby: you really kick it with the metaphors!

^^^
thanx KK metaphor is how I make sense of the world I live in.

That's impossible for a girl to know. For instance, if you say she is the most beautiful in the world, she would be stupid not to know you were lying. OTOH, if you just called her beautiful, then it might be sincere or it might be a lie, it would be impossible for a girl to know if it is sincere or not. Besides, getting a girl into bed is a kind of ritualistic reason, because if you only want a one-night-stand, you are most likely lying with most of your compliments. Unless the girl knows you are not only wanting a one-night-stand, it would be impossible for her to sort this out.

Since the most common usage of compliments is to get sex from a girl, it cannot be viewed as sincere in most cases, just part of a game the guy plays in order to get sex.

I've never been able to have sex with someone based upon compliments. I don't have that ability.