To all you chronically lonely guys yearning for love

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Its good insulation, I've practiced something of that kind for years but more along the lines of self help and empowerment vs. dedicating it all to the chase. I'm starting to wonder about certain things a this point though, more pertinent to philosophical/religious reality though (ie. am I shooting the law of attraction in the foot if it exists? Should I just practice and try to apply more ongoing faith to the notion that Christ has it covered? - its an experiment in progress and like with anything in my life I'm not one to close my mind to the possibilities), I'm not necessarily saying you should have to do that, just perhaps warning you not to get *too* comfortable in that thought pattern - be as ready to snap up a new paradigm of thought that may work better as you would be the right woman if she came your way .

If you never get a woman it's because you have the mentality you have.

If you want the truth, the only reason "bad boys" get women is because they just keep asking women out. If they get rejected they move on to the next one. It's not because women prefer "bad boys" over your average guy, or even your somewhat socially impaired guy.

So who's going to get a girlfriend eventually? Let me see, that guy who resigns himself to failure and stays inside watching wheel of fortune in his underwear every night, or that guy who asks a woman out every day?

Gee, I wonder.

If you never want a woman, definitely be a self defeatist because women have a complete aversion to men like that.

This isn't "reasonable extrapolation into the future". This is "telling others to give up, be single and die alone" after you're just a couple of years away from Mummy's apron strings.



Well, according to your own words, of course.



The above thread is not discussing platonic love so if this wasn't a relationship then I'm not sure what "quite deeply in love" is supposed to mean here in a non-dysfunctional way. I may have simply given you more credit than you were due or you may have misunderstood and thought of your dog and your Mom.

There's nothing wrong with being young and inexperienced. There's something wrong with being young, inexperienced, and telling others (unbidden) how they should live their lives -- especially when you're being so negative about it because you want to stick your neck out to bring us the TRUTH (like we've never heard that before here...) Believe me, your viewpoint is not so much "threatening" as it is tired and pedestrian. The more you post along these lines the less likely anyone of merit is going to take you seriously. Like you say, it "backfired completely" and you attracted the attention of not one, but two moderators and a host of irate users (ALL of which you've taken care to insult that little extra bit, haven't you?)

Go back to being a nicer person and talking about Bach's fugues and such. There are better ways to advocate your 'singles' position. You'll find these much more pleasant than (by your own admission above) coming here and trying to deliberately provoke people.

I really seem to have struck some sensitive chord with you haven't I? Your little tirade seems to indicate as much. I'm just saying what I think is right, and I'm not going to apologize for anything I may have overstated, for I've already done so. And it is my bleeping right to give people advice on how to live, however painful it may seem to you. If people think there's anything of value in what I'm saying, then I've just pointed out what they perhaps wanted to do all along. And if they don't, then they don't. Simple. Yes I haven't lived as long as you, but that doesn't give you the right to try and shut me up.

As for my having been "in love", my command of the English language isn't quite so good as to find the right word all the time. The correct term is "unreciprocated infatuation" I believe. I've never been anywhere near a successful relationship in my life.

What do you care if I'm a nice person or not, by the way? Frankly speaking, WP seems to be blessed with an abundance of people who are somewhat less than friendly. Deal with it, or leave. I accept it by posting here. And besides, you don't have to read any of my stuff, if you're so darned upset by it.

Not sure why people are giving this thread their energy.

Sometimes its really about the tangents.

....Good point.

Well, that is certainly an ignorant remark! Why is the thought of a person of color, reading German, so amusing? Anyone of reasonable intelligence can learn a foreign language. Even more shocking, it happens quite often! You sound a bit racist there, dude!

Being asian myself (in a predominantly "white" country) I've encountered a fair bit of racial discrimination myself. However, instead of feeling all bad about this, I always follow the principle that no offense should be taken where none was clearly intended. And yes, having had a few good laughs with my neighbors about the discrepancy between my appearance and my linguistic abilities, I too think there's something irresistibly funny about a Korean (myself) who fluently speaks some obscure rural dialect of the Dutch language normally reserved for "indigenous" farmers and fishermen. Just like the thought of Bill Cosby (or Eddy Murphy or whoever) expressing himself in Schopenhauerian German makes me lol.

A world beyond racism is a world in which we can all laugh about each other's characteristics without malice and without secret agendas. Brighten up, dude! Black people are never going to be truly emancipated if they can't be made fun of (in a non-hostile way) now and then.

You know, the big problem with politically correct people (especially the white ones) nowadays is that every racial or ethnic minority (be it blacks, jews, asians, you name it) gets placed on some sort of pedestal, out of reach of insult, humor or sometimes even simple mention, for fear of being seen as racist otherwise. But, ironically, this is racist in in itself, as it somehow places the racial ethnic minority outside the normal order of society (which includes laughing about one another). Similar remarks apply to people with disabilities (including myself). It creates a sort of awkwardness in dealing with people, which impedes their proper integration into society. Actually, not being spoken to by people who fear insulting me is a far worse insult than being called a "cripple" or a "spaz". And if the latter terms are used in good humor, I don't mind them at all.

Being almost 40 yrs old, I have to agree with the original poster.

We might like to think that we have capabilities to change a bit and "try harder" etc
but the reality is we are not much different than those who are on the extreme end of the autistic spectrum. Reread that last statement.

Yes there are success stories but we live in a world of odds against, no different than knowing there are people who will win the lottery.

I've had my own share of failures and believe it or not I am a pretty good looking fit fellow AND I have had members of the opposite sex approach me etc.

However no matter how hard I try things always get in the way communication wise and I am misunderstood and potential partners get turned off for one reason or another.

If I ever get hooked up it will most likely be with a friend of a friend as chances with strangers are like the lotto. Don't have much friends though so that is another story.

my .02 experience.

Schopenhauer was a miserable, cynical bastard. I took a look at one of his books in the bookstore once, read a bit (he was a heavy influence on Nietzsche), and I just couldn't get past his ugly description of humanity. I'm open to reading a variety of things, but it struck me as a waste of time when there are less pessimistic philosophers I want to read.

To be fair, I think dddhgg is poking gentle fun at me (just as I hope I was poking gentle fun at him) and perhaps suggesting that my humour is based on racism, rather than actually being racist himself. In my own defense, I was playing more with the 'Bill Cosby is a senile mumbling fool who can barely push out a clear sentence, let alone read Schopenhauer on an audio tape' instead of 'black people can't read foreign languages'. The latter hadn't even occurred to me. Would it help if I substituted Bobcat?

To engage more seriously with the topic of this thread, Schopenhauer, like the OP, advocates a pessimistic view on life because that way you don't get let down (put simply) and life can only exceed your expectations. Better a pessimist surprised than an optimist disappointed. I see the point of this argument, but I also think there are times when it just doesn't apply. Love would be a situation where pessimism is not helpful.

In order for a meaningful relationship to occur, both people need to be open to the possibility of love. That means more than just a pessimistic 'it probably won't happen, but if it does, I'll let it'; it means being open and interested and willing to trust a little bit. I personally think it also means being comfortable being alone too. Why would anyone want to be with someone who needs another to complete them when they can be with a person who is already complete?

I think the appropriate attitude is hopeful optimism that is not afraid of failure.

Yes, good old Arthur didn't sugarcoat anything, that's for sure. Contrary to your experience, he's the only philosopher I've really ever felt at home with emotionally. By the way, if you're a woman (or a feministic-minded man) and want to have a laugh read his superb essay "On Women".

LOL, you're as far off base with your thinking about ME as you are with your ideas about what the lonely should be doing with their lives.


Hey, yak all you want kid. I'm just here to discredit you so that others can clearly see what your "advice" leads to. So keep going. So far you've additionally tossed out the "disabled" card, the "asian" card, and the "It's okay, you can call me a cripple/spaz" card to justify your own thinly veiled racism. If our lonely hearts' destiny in taking your advice is to end up with a venomous, bitter mentality, then I quite prefer them as they are, thanks!


There is nothing wrong with anyone having issues with English. Our strengths and weaknesses are all as different as we are individually. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship history.


What's wrong? You don't like it when people tell you how to behave when you haven't asked for their "sage advice"? Maybe you should think on that a bit further.


LOL, I am dealing with it. Or haven't you been reading along?


Nah. I'll exercise the right to weigh in when I feel attacked, thanks. Thank god I didn't read this when I was in my 20's and listen to it. The vast majority of "lonely" guys are very good people who can't catch a break. All they need to do is find the right fit. This becomes easier with age. They don't deserve a boot party from you so that you can have company in your "eternal singles" philosophy. But for what it's worth, I'm glad it works for you.

Ummm, no, OP - you are absolutely wrong. A "world beyond racism" is one in which we don't all laugh about each other's characteristics - because we've learned to accept each other's characteristics. And seriously, you don't understand that making sweeping, stereotypical generalizations about people that are based solely on their skin color is racist? That's the definition of racism. Or don't you consider pontificating about the "big problem with politically correct people (especially the white ones)" to fit that description? Please, do us a favor and spare us your ideas on when black people will be "emancipated" - in case you haven't gotten it yet, you need to understand that ignorance is offensive.

Around here, the other day a weekly sketch in a popular TV show got canceled because some activist complained and a British BBC reporter wrote an article. What the...?
http://elcomercio.pe/noticia/471704/cor ... negro-mama


The fact is, there are bastards everywhere. So I can call someone a Jewish bastard, a black bastard, a Chinese bastard or whatever and will do when they deserve it. Oh, and it goes for white bastards, too. Just because someone is part of a so-called minority it doesn't automatically make him/her a saint or anything. Screw PC.