Would you consider this person (myself)...normal looking?

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You do look a tad like Roger Waters, although you are better looking than he is/was. I would say that some sort of longish hair is a good idea for you. In my experience, long hair goes well with thin faces, and only adds to the mysterious aspie thing. In my experience, people actually find this to be somewhat attractive/endearing.

Also, you could try growing a beard. My face is contoured similarly to yours (although my jaw is wider at the base), and people have told me that I look better with a beard. Good luck.

I think his lips are quite kissable. I'm being serious here - not flirting! hehehe

He's not at all ugly, even mildly - and I feel I'm very picky, actually.

And RE his nose, I also think the image is a little distorted because of the angle. Computers have a tendency to do that. And even if his nose is big, some people like that - ahem! Actually, I love interesting noses - big ones, crooked ones, ooooh, and my favourite - hooked ones!! Think Alan Rickman...or the sort of indigenous Peruvian ones...mmmmm, pretty!

And high cheekbones, I thought, were enviable. i have high cheekbones and I love them.

You getting all this, right-hand-child? You're stronger than I am - I don't think I'd have the nerve to have posted a pic of myself and asked for this kind of feedback!

Most people look normal.

You don't if you have a vibe to you, and you can't tell that unless you meet someone IRL.

Its more normal to have short hair though, I always associate men with long hair with IT geeks who don't wear underarm de-odourant.

The length of your bangs accentuates your nose too much and makes you look like you have a low forehead. I like big noses but it needs to be balanced out. Also stop slouching.

I think he's totally hot and I'm not at all "in the market" at the moment. But at a different point in my life, right-hand-child would have completely bowled me over!

the Lab Pet:


Not too long ago, I had a fleeting encounter with a (now unemployed) licensed counselor who actually told me (not kidding) that I should dye my naturally blonde hair DARK (brunette) since my eyebrows (which are naturally very dark, and my eyelashes too) since they "don't match." She was serious and even scheduled an appointment for me to do just this! OUTRAGEOUS and I am still insulted. This "counselor" lost her job, for obvious reasons. I also learned, later, she had had some legal troubles due to mistreatment of clients - no kidding.

So, when any given Aspie feels "slighted," like they're somehow not good enough for another, then I am concerned. Not for the Aspie, but the NUT CASE who feels judgmental. I have green eyes. My coloring is natural (but maybe somewhat unusual). I do wear make-up (eyeshadow, mascara) and have always been told I look nice/really pretty - I had met the counselor from Hades.

Advice: Ignore stupid (un)professional people who give advice. I learned the hard way. Aspie do know, and we are kind-hearted, not superficial with misconceptions.

He asked for advice, though, and he's perfectly entitled to not take it on.

You serious? How is he even remotely strange looking? Does normal looking to you mean you have to have perfectly proportioned features? Doesn't exist buddy.

1. get a haircut
2. shave that teen mustache it looks terrible
3. new clothes
4. lift weights

i did not say he was strange looking. he asked for an opinion and i gave my opinion on things i noticed after being asked to study the picture.
it is just my opinion. i did not give an opinion on whether he was attractive to girls because i do not see what girls see when they look at a male.



i never said he looked abnormal. you are the one inferring he does not have "perfectly proportioned features" with your comment.

i do not care. i am not interested in looks and my name is not "buddy"

He asked "Am I normal looking" and you tore his apperance to shreds like "normal looking" is some perfect face.

I was wondering if you thought that was normal looking, as you seemed to find problems with his face when he asked if he looked normal.

i did not tear his appearance to shreds. i was not thinking about whether it was normal because i did not process that part of the question.
he looks normal to me. he does not look "outstandingly ugly" i said.
you and me are very different in our interpretation of words i guess.



well if only flattering comments are allowed, then it is pointless to ask the question.
i should realize that people do not want my opinion if it is not a flattering opinion i have.
anyway, he never complained about what i said so i do not know why you are harping on about it.

I thought b9 gave an honest answer to an honest question. I don't know what more one could ask of a person with asperger's.

Social standards tell us that we're supposed to answer any sort of personal question with flattery because those sorts of questions are typically used socially in order to get reassurance of one's worth. "Do these pants make me look fat?" is not really a question asking "do these pants make me look fat" but rather a question asking "do you still find me attractive and will you please say so because my ego is feeling low and could use a boost before we go out and face the world today."

But "Am I normal looking?" was not asked within the standard NT social paradigm. It was asked as a serious question wanting a serious answer. Perhaps some social validation and ego boosting would be nice, but I got the impression that primarily the original querent wanted to know if there was something offputting about the way he looked in order to better understand why people were moving away from him and avoiding him. There are so many reasons why people could be responding that way and, as I understood it, the querent wanted to know what he looked like to other people . . . and really wanted to know what he looked like to others, not what sort of fluffy, affirming "there there, it's okay"s the other people could offer.

We (spectrumites) are not generally known for tact. Even when we try to be tactful, we often come across as more blunt than the gen pop. From what I could tell, b9 looked at the photo and gave an honest impression. An "if I'd just seen you, I wouldn't think twice but now that you ask me to assess, I see this, this and this." I don't think b9 deserves to be picked apart for answering an honest question with an honest answer just because that answer was not the typical esteem building encouragement that would be expected in a neurotypical social setting.

You're missing what I meant. I'm not caring that you picked apart his appearance, I was wondering why you thought it wasn't normal and what your definition of normal was if having a "small mouth" or something made you abnormal. But it doesn't matter.

Oh, okay. Some of the words you used (like "tore to shreds" and "buddy") led me to believe you were upset and criticizing b9 for his/her response to the original poster. My apologies for my misinterpretation.

once again i will say that i did not pick apart his appearance, and i thought you did care about your idea that i was "picking apart" his appearance. you said it it in a way i thought was a cranky way.


i never said he looked abnormal. i just stated what i thought was unusual.
i have never seen someone who's eyes are as wide as their mouth, and i found it unusual so i said it. this is how i saw it geometrically in my mind.

it does not look ugly to me and it does not look abnormal. it looks unusual and that is how i see it.


it is true that it does not matter.