Aspie Affection

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Mark198423
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30 Jun 2010, 9:14 pm

Northeastern292 wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Asp-Z wrote:

Bugzee wrote:

The problem with Aspie Affection is that the ratio between men and women would be 10 men to 1 woman.

+1

The site is utterly useless with so many more male members. Though, it's the only dating site I've seen which lets 16 year olds join, the rest require you to be 18, which is annoying because I'm 16 very soon and I was thinking of joining up to one of these things.

Aspie Affection could work great for women seeking men thou cuz of that ratio but the search feature would have to be fixed 1st. I use a few other dating sites with that same format software & lots of em let 16year-olds join as well.

I just remembered another site I use called AutismDating.net. The site is really confusing thou & I only have like 11 matches on it all over the world.
I also forgot about a new site created by a member here called AutisticDating.net. It's the same formate type software as Aspie Affection. I sent out a few messages there but haven't gotten replies but it's like that on every dating site I use. No members in my state either thou but I'm hoping it grows more

Also, in general only 1 of 4 Aspies are women.

Or are they just diagnosed/noticed less???

Mark198423
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30 Jun 2010, 9:18 pm

sunshower wrote:

nick007 wrote:

sunshower wrote:

nick007 wrote:

BTW only1% of Aspies get married. It's probably related to all the social issues that we face

That's really depressing. Where did you get that statistic from?

That's the figure I've seen on lots of sites. Psychs seem to agree with it. I'd believe from the stuff I've read here about how lots of us are having major problems finding a relationship

I'm not really sure about that, I did some research myself and couldn't locate it anywhere. It sounds more like a made up/estimated statistic to me (a.k.a. a psych would say, probably only 1% of aspies would end up getting married, sort of like the psych who diagnosed me and told my mum "she'll never be in a relationship"). I researched the PSYCINFO database at our uni (which is massive) and couldn't find any studies with those sorts of statistics. I think Asperger's is still too new a phenomenon for any longitudinal studies to have been done on it, and there is such limited research on adults with Asperger's as things stand; from what I can tell, around 95% of the research is focused on children. There is a good reason for this; the diagnostic criteria itself is based towards the presentation of AS symptoms in children (adults present differently) so adults don't even get diagnosed most of the time, and the diagnosis hasn't existed long enough for those initially diagnosed as children to grow up to be adults. The diagnosis wasn't widely used until 1995, I was diagnosed in 2000 at the age of 12 (at the end of childhood, really) and am currently aged 22, thus the oldest aspies who would have been diagnosed as children would still be under the age of 30 today.

As far as marriage rates, reproduction rates, even suicide rates, I haven't seen any reliable statistics anywhere.

Good points, also the number of undiagnosed people within this diagnosis age group will also skew the results of any survey. And the more successful in relationships are probably less likely for diagnosis too!

hale_bopp
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30 Jun 2010, 9:32 pm

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

Please stop looking at yourself and applying it to all aspies. There are men like that in and out of the spectrum.

Mark198423
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30 Jun 2010, 9:36 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

Please stop looking at yourself and applying it to all aspies. There are men like that in and out of the spectrum.

It's somewhat relieving to see you girls can see that too!

hale_bopp
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30 Jun 2010, 9:42 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

Please stop looking at yourself and applying it to all aspies. There are men like that in and out of the spectrum.

It's somewhat relieving to see you girls can see that too!

Certain aspies often take issues with themselves and apply it to "aspergers", the chance that most of these issues are related to aspergers are very small. Most of their issues are related to "The human condition".

Mark198423
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30 Jun 2010, 9:56 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Mark198423 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

Please stop looking at yourself and applying it to all aspies. There are men like that in and out of the spectrum.

It's somewhat relieving to see you girls can see that too!

Like it's an all encpasulating, umbrella excuse for anything they see as a negative flaw? I've noticed it a little but do not feel comfortable pulling people up for something I havn't a diagnosis for myself.

Seanmw
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30 Jun 2010, 10:33 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

I would want NOTHING more than a loving, long term relationship and many more want/need the same on here - reading post's will show that!

+100

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Seanmw
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30 Jun 2010, 10:35 pm

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

You sound suspiciously like a spokesperson for Autism Speaks

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Ichinin
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01 Jul 2010, 12:11 am

Mark198423 wrote:

That would make 93.6% either in a relationship or just havn't bothered.

Maby there is a reason why some haven't bothered, like if you have been on 37123723 other dating sites and have gotten sick of it, why would you sign up to dating site number 37123724?

The problem: Most dating sites contains the same people over and over, and the matchmaking "algorithms" (basically a simple variable comparison hooked to a few SQL parameters) pretty much seems to want to hook you up with people you've already rejected or been rejected by on other sites.

Dating sites are basically a fuckload of time waste.

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Adam82
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01 Jul 2010, 3:35 am

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

I'm most definitely an Aspie male, and I am after something long lasting and real. So it doesn't apply to everyone!

Mark198423
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01 Jul 2010, 2:02 pm

Ichinin wrote:

Mark198423 wrote:

That would make 93.6% either in a relationship or just havn't bothered.

But from what I can see the purpose of the site is to give an alternate to those other dating sites, I'm sure there are very few aspies you've been linked to on the others so surely if everyone gave it a go you wouldn't be matched with the same old people!

dynastus
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01 Jul 2010, 6:05 pm

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

If Aspie men just want casual sex why do they look for an aspie girl when they can get NT's that 'offer' the 'same sex' that's not very logical.
IF they just go for sex then a NT 'offers' the same as an aspie girl.
And that rule doesn't apply to me,I only want a loving, long term relationship and not some kind of 'sexrelationship'.

Lonermutant
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02 Jul 2010, 12:24 am

dynastus wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

Yes, but they believe that it will be easier to get an Aspie woman into bed because they will be more similar to them when it comes to social skills.

foreveryoung
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02 Jul 2010, 12:45 am

I disagree with you Loner...look around this board, it's full of AFCs (or Average Frustrated Chumps) who want the long term relationship and "connection" thing.

dynastus
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02 Jul 2010, 6:22 am

Lonermutant wrote:

dynastus wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

I think that we have to accept that a lot of Aspie men just want casual sex, not a real relationship, while most Aspie women want marriage, kids and to be as normal as possible.

Yes, but they believe that it will be easier to get an Aspie woman into bed because they will be more similar to them when it comes to social skills.

With they I think you only mean a few.
Otherwise I and many other aspies here don't follow that rule.

airbase
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03 Jul 2010, 5:40 pm

From one female aspie's percpective, unfortunately guys like Lonermutant often do get one over on aspie girls and preoccupy our time. When a guy is practiced at manipulation and the girl's personality is very transperant, it make for a perfect situation for the sociopathic types to take aadvantage of said girl.

I do believe that as many, if not more, female aspies have difficultiy meeting and sharing long term relationships. Almost all of my NT female friends seek that sort of meaningful realationship too. I think the challenge is greater for girls because we are often taken advantage of right from the get go, when we are very young and still very uninformed. As each negative experience takes us down a knotch and we turn further inward it becomes more and more challenging to find or except the right guy. Online dating can be quite intimidating for woman, esp if one realises how many sociopathic NTs or otherwise (such as in Lonermutant's case) are there on the self serving prowl for the convience of internet 'shopping' as it is.

Why don't more Aspie guys attend Meetups? There are always a larger percentage of girls who do. I think any girl is more likely to be open to meeting a guy on a Meetup than an internet dating site, at least it shows initiative.

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