Sexism

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If he offers to pay then no, that's his choice, nothing wrong with that. Assuming he is going to pay for you however before you have even gone on the date is the double standard I am referring to. I think you got my original point back to front.

Most so called feminists are hypocrites though, who will often backtrack from a level playing field, when they have to give something up to make things equal.

I've heard most men will ask to pay out of politeness, but get upset if the woman allows him to.

At least, that's what a guy told me after our disaster of a date. I think he had some pent up frustration because I assumed he was okay with paying since he offered.

Surya - Oooooh, that makes sense then.

Mudboy - Oh okay. My family would say that my last bf was definitely on all fronts, but he paid for me despite my protesting. D:

Daemonic-Jackal - most people are like that. We're a selfish lot and want ourselves to be "more equal than others." It's silly, really.

/me bashes her head on desk..

I think there is a problem with wording. At least personally I do..

When people are children, they say "we will split this equally". or "I can I have my equal share?" parents sometimes share these cookies equally amonst you three..

No child says Its my equal right to...

kids generally seem to get the concept.. until some adults come along and toss the word rights into it..

I think once the word 'rights' gets added, in not all, but many ways, things get way out of hand

Equal rights only exists for work. I would never let one of my female secretaries buy her own lunch, or carry a heavy box of paper. (I would be very uncomfortable with male administrative support.) On the other hand, I would never carry a heavy box of parts for a female technician, or pay for her lunch. Outside of work, women should be firmly placed back on their pedestals.

Pedestals are too high. When you fall (and you always do) the landing is quite painful.

I've always under the assumption that whoever does the asking out pays and that's the way I've done things. I've seen it as I'm treating them to a good time so naturally I cover it.
I don't mind a 50/50 split though.

What if it's a tiny pedestal? Like for those who are scared of heights and scraped knees. >.<

I prefer solid ground, myself. lol

I like swimming in a pool or the ocean. Water feels nice. ^_^

I hate having my partner pay for everything in a relationship. I want to be an equal partner, not a helpless child who has to be looked after. I am an adult, I earn my own money, and I am capable of paying for my own meal. I don't want to be looked after; I'm not a f*****g 3-year-old.

Besides being infantilising, some men (some, not all) will use paying for things as an excuse to manipulate you into doing things that you don't wish to do, and for generally behaving like a jerk, and they'll act as though because they've paid for your meals, you should take their emotional abuse and be grateful for it.

If someone offers to pay for a meal, I won't get angry at them, I will politely decline. If they insist, I will make sure that I pay for their meal in the near future. I'm ok with being treated to a meal on special occasions like my birthday, but I also like to do the same for my partner on their special occasions.

ack, i once dated someone who insisted on paying for everything and it was annoying as hell. he wouldnt even let me pay for one drink or my own ticket to a place id suggested going. drove me nuts but in the end i gave up even offering because it was just too frustrating arguing about it

i dont see why they shouldnt pay sometimes though. its just a nice thing to do and shouldnt be some huge issue?

I don't have a problem with someone paying sometimes, just as long as they don't get all pouty and act as though I've castrated them when I try to return the favour.

I'm in a som/sub relationship, so as long as my husband acknowledges that I am not a child I love being taken care of.

hmm.. twice the pedestals come up today..

Oh well..

1 problem with pedestals, the people on them, have a much better chance of being able to turn around and piss all over you.

Well put.