It always seems like I fail at everything in life!

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Well, I think that tells you she's cautious. But that does NOT tell you that she's "cautiously interested". I think it's safe to assume, at this point, she's not interested in a relationship with you. I'd aim for friendship, and no more.

Most girls are pretty cautious around guys they don't know very well. And any girl can tell you that a lot of guys on this planet are total psychos and potentially dangeous. Don't take it as an insult, though. Imagine this from her perspective... she dosen't know you that well.

Probably.. I really have no idea what the details are... and the details that I do get are only comming from your perspective, I have no idea what she is thinking.. so.. that's an issue. But, based on what little I can see, I'd play it safe and don't like her *too* much..

So you've already gone out with her a few times? And then she accused you of being pushy? (about trying to get her phone number?).

She may have been giving you all sorts of hints during this whole time, that's an irritating thing about people, they talk a lot through hints, and aren't as direct as you'd like them to be.

Hmmm.. now you’ve got me thinking..

Ok, here is the assumptions I am making: she’s annoyed at you because you’re pushy and she’s not looking for a romantic relationship. (correct me if I’m wrong or missing something important)

So, in your apology, admit that you were being pushy. If she used that exact word, “pushy”, then she’ll like to hear you “echo” it back to her. Overall, just agree with her. Say that you like hanging out with her, that you’re not trying to “pick her up” or flirt or do anything like that. You like hanging out with her simply because she’s fun to talk to.

Or maybe just "fun"... or "interesting".. or whatever you think is appropriate. Make sure it sounds like something YOU would say.

Hmm.. now I'm doubting myself.

When I said that:
"that you’re not trying to “pick her up” or flirt or do anything like that."

You may consider leaving that out. She may have never really suspected that in the first place? If that's the case, then saying this wouldn't make any sense.

Also, if that statement lie, then you may not want to say it. Aspies are terrible liars.

Well... say something you'd say, basically.

Ohhh.. that changes things!

So at work should I say hi and ask her how her xmas was? Also is it ok if I ask her what shes doing on New years?

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I like Major hurricanes.

Please do not over analyze this situation, you may get into trouble.
You appear to be inventing the future before it even begins, that is not good. I know from experience!!

I used to have very casual meetings with girls that I liked and then I would sit there and think up various approaches and plans for future meetings. 95% of the time, It DOESN'T work. Good relationships can't be planned and organized like that. I'm no expert on what actually does work as far as a full blown date job goes but I think i'm headed in a good direction.

What I can tell you is what won't work. You really have to just act on the fly. Be friendly, nice and eventually try to communicate in a way that you are best at. For me, I am poor at talking to girls in person. I am extremely poor at talking to ANYBODY in a crowded situation. However, I am really good at talking on the phone and by computer. I have pushed alot of girls over my obvious "wierd" factor just by wired communication alone. It really really makes the later personal appearances go much easier.

I have 4 pretty good girls-who-are-friends right now, and that is more or less how I met them. When I met up with them in real life it wasn't so bad. I have tried to meet girls just by personal appearance alone and it has never worked. So what I suggest is just try to be pleasant and communicate to her in YOUR favorite manner at first. If person-person is easy for you then do it that way. In this situation, it sounds like you have really gone too far. I would apologize and ask her on a dinner or movie date. If she denies you, then I would back off the rest of the way.

It's not going to be easy all the time!

Greeting her and everything is fine, sure. Never a bad thing. Um... I'd only ask her about New Years plans if you already have your own set of New Years plans.

Since you really like this girl. "Charm," "respect," and "remembering" are key components.

At work:

1. Always say "good morning" and "good night."
2. Compliment what she's wearing.
3. Remember something and say it back to her. This will put a smile on her face and remember you. Such as her b-day, her nickname, something she does out of habit, etc.
4. Ask her to go out to lunch with her.
5. Ask her how she's doing?
6. Ask her if she needs help with anything (work related). Be helpful.

I do not have AS but someone I care for deeply does and those are some of things he did to win my heart. Mind you, it took a year!!
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*Yes, ask how her Christmas was!

*Tell her what you're doing on New Years, even if you have to make it up. She will find this information interesting to her. It will make for good conversation between the two of you in January!

*Never mind phone numbers! Ask if she has an e-mail address because you know of some cool websites that you want to show her. Make that up if you have to, as well.....e-mail can be fun and sweet!

Telling her she's pretty is kind of lame! Tell her her that her hair looks great today. "Are you doing something different?"

*I added a few more things on my previous post.