Enough of the 'Damn women rejected me' threads please

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sunshower
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15 Oct 2010, 2:16 am

nthach wrote:

OK, looks like I need to swallow my pride and try my hand at the dating game. But how and where and who should I look for? One of my biggest holdbacks is to how to start the conversation.

The best way to start is to practice making friends with girls, then work on your friendships with your female friends. Practice conversing with them, ask them questions about what they like and don't like, most importantly - see if you can get them discussing guys around you. Listen to what they say about their own dating or relationship experiences, and then you will have a good handle on the best ways to find a girlfriend and also keep her.

I have several male friends I would classify as "ladies men" (highly promiscuous and sought out by women) and they all have this in common; they have lots of female friends, and a deep understanding of women, how they think, what they like, etc.

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LittleTigger
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15 Oct 2010, 2:38 am

greenblue wrote:

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:

How hard is it to accept that someone choosing you as a partner is a privilege, not an entitlement?

It is hard for people (or even perhaps society) who pressure us to get partners to understand that as well, it seems. I mean, I only have found this argument here on WP actually, other people would tend to say, "you can't get a partner you are a loser" rather. Which seems that argument wouldn't be much consistent with the social pressure.

It is all more trouble than it is worth,
why should I bother?

Why does society think I shood do this
kind of thing? It isn't intristing.

Why are they not content that I am
just leaving them alone and playing
in my yard, unrelated to them, un knowing
to them, instead they have to butt in to
my life and they think they have some right
to boss me around?

Well poopy on them, let's see them make
me.

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nthach
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15 Oct 2010, 2:50 am

sunshower wrote:

nthach wrote:

OK, looks like I need to swallow my pride and try my hand at the dating game. But how and where and who should I look for? One of my biggest holdbacks is to how to start the conversation.

Don't have too many of those.

sunshower
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15 Oct 2010, 6:28 am

nthach wrote:

sunshower wrote:

nthach wrote:

OK, looks like I need to swallow my pride and try my hand at the dating game. But how and where and who should I look for? One of my biggest holdbacks is to how to start the conversation.

Don't have too many of those.

perhaps first try to make more, or spend more time with the few female friends you do have? Another option is to talk to female family members about these sorts of things, ask their advice.

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BPalmer
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15 Oct 2010, 7:47 am

sunshower wrote:

I have several male friends I would classify as "ladies men" (highly promiscuous and sought out by women) and they all have this in common; they have lots of female friends, and a deep understanding of women, how they think, what they like, etc.

But let's face it, they wouldn't have developed an understanding of what women want if they were ugly (or with little earning potential) in the first place.

hyperlexian
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15 Oct 2010, 7:58 am

BPalmer wrote:

sunshower wrote:

But let's face it, they wouldn't have developed an understanding of what women want if they were ugly (or with little earning potential) in the first place.

not true, the biggest ladies' man i ever met was bookstore clerk with bad acne scars. he made women feel special, appreciated, and cared for.

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hale_bopp
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15 Oct 2010, 8:48 am

Someone should put a cage around this forum because its like a play pen full of brats throwing their toys.

I also think that Aspie Guy is trolling. Thats the third anti women thread i've seen from him this week.

SadAspy
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15 Oct 2010, 10:27 am

In response to the OP,

Maybe I'm not entitled to a woman, but it is pretty frustrating when women would rather go out with bad boy thugs than me, even when they're not better-looking!

ApsieGuy
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15 Oct 2010, 10:49 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Just expressing my frustrations....

mechanicalgirl39
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15 Oct 2010, 11:32 am

SadAspy wrote:

In response to the OP,

Maybe I'm not entitled to a woman, but it is pretty frustrating when women would rather go out with bad boy thugs than me, even when they're not better-looking!

That is a reasonable attitude. To want a destructive idiot when there are nice looking, decent and level headed guys available is pretty odd.

I felt the same about a guy I was with. I mean I even learnt to make pinched harmonics on the guitar specifically to impress him because he said he loved the sound of pinched harmonics...And this guy dumped me for a girl with a fat face and an annoying high voice. I guess he just liked cushingoid girls with annoying high voices. Lol.

What I'm taking issue with is the idea that guys are 'entitled' to a woman's companionship and sex, and women owe them that unless they have some very good reason to reject them.

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ApsieGuy
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15 Oct 2010, 11:45 am

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

In response to the OP,

Maybe I'm not entitled to a woman, but it is pretty frustrating when women would rather go out with bad boy thugs than me, even when they're not better-looking!

Well, I guess that doesn't make much sense

mechanicalgirl39
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15 Oct 2010, 11:51 am

ApsieGuy wrote:

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

In response to the OP,

Maybe I'm not entitled to a woman, but it is pretty frustrating when women would rather go out with bad boy thugs than me, even when they're not better-looking!

Well, I guess that doesn't make much sense

*sigh*

It's fine to wonder at someone's choices when they choose someone who seems sub-optimal. What's NOT fine is taking an entitled attitude.

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johnc
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15 Oct 2010, 12:03 pm

TheMinnesotaIceman wrote:

nthach wrote:

I'll just wait for them to approach me.

I have never, ever seen a woman approach a man first. I've heard of cases (probably apocryphal) of this happening, but they are very few and very far between. I'll believe it when I see it, and probably not even then.

It does happen. I've had 2 relationships start that way. In both cases I knew them socially already however - friends of friends that I'd known for a while but not long enough to be in the friend zone.

Mind you, one turned out to be the psycho-ex-gf-from-hell, but I guess you can't have everything

Erisad
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15 Oct 2010, 12:30 pm

I agree. If both men and women would stop bashing one another, that would be great. I know I've been guilty of man-bashing in the past and I apologize. I realize that I spoke out of turn.

["obnoxious_singing"]Now why can't we all get along? Why can't we all just be friends?[/obnoxious singing] :lol:

Greendragon
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15 Oct 2010, 3:24 pm

nthach wrote:

Greendragon wrote:

She points in your direction with her leg, foot or shoulders.
She leans toward you while talking.
She plays with or tosses her hair.
She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass.
She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks.
She mirrors your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same).
She smiling when you check her out.

And there's the problem - body language in which us aspies CANNOT read AT ALL. In a perfect world, women would be direct to us verbally.

Ahhh but it is not a perfect world and there is no way you will meet a lot of women who come right out and say "I like you". That makes them too vulnerable. So the body language sends the signal and she waits to see if you respond so she won't get hurt. It is how we are wired to find our mate without getting stomped on and turning bitter in the process ...

YES, it is hard but you train yourself to watch for the signals. This is a good short list. Sure you are not good at body language but you can teach yourself a lot of things ... and then send the signal back to her ... lean in, smile, make her laugh ... DO NOT TOUCH HER in the first meeting! lol that may get you in trouble.

One of the most sexy things for me is if the guy I am into leans forward and brushes my hair out of my face (I have the wild tossled look so it goes everywhere) ... that kind of touch is great as long as she is into you.

Also had some weirdo walk up to me and pluck a grey hair out of my head and he actually thought he was doing me a favor ... he got labeled a weirdo and we never went past that one moment.

You can do it ... just think more positively about it and yourself.

Oh and confidence, NOT arrogance, is very attractive in a man.

That is very important so keep that in mind.

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LittleTigger
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15 Oct 2010, 3:27 pm

This is exactly why I gave up, too many rules
and too many ways to get in trubble, thank
Mew dad has had all those good lawyers
in the past and I am still an innocent boy.

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When society stops expecting
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