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If a partner doesn't lead to happiness...

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emlion
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17 Nov 2010, 5:17 am

Ew the Situation is gross. >.<



Erisad
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17 Nov 2010, 8:08 am

emlion wrote:
Ew the Situation is gross. >.<


I knooow. :eew:



ToadOfSteel
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17 Nov 2010, 8:21 am

emlion wrote:
Ew the Situation is gross. >.<


So you understand why I have to avoid inflating my ego by any means possible... It would be awesome if I was not of the jersey race, but alas, I have to make do with what I have. Avoiding the sun wherever possible and tanning booths may make me look a pasty white, but at least i'm not bright orange. Yeah I might be a bit fat, but by not going to the gym I don't have to interact with the "situations" of the world...



Last edited by ToadOfSteel on 17 Nov 2010, 8:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

emlion
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17 Nov 2010, 8:22 am

Yeah, but he's just insanely egotistical.
There has to be a happy medium?



Sallamandrina
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17 Nov 2010, 11:00 am

Toad, as long as you look for validation from others for everything that you are and do, you'll keep being very unhappy. Who you are has little to do with the way others see you - do you even know who you are? Do you exist otherwise than in relation to others? Your own strengths and weaknesses exist independently and they will always be there regardless of how and if they are perceived form outside. Explore them, learn to use them - it makes no difference if X thinks you're a loser or if Y is happy while you're not. There's an infinity of nuances between extremes - you don't have to love yourself to the point of narcissism or hate everything about you. Accept yourself and stop letting others define who you are - you're condemning yourself to a perpetual emotional hell.


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billsmithglendale
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17 Nov 2010, 12:46 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Pistonhead wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Except now you just sound like a douchebag... I don't want to be one of those. I live in New Jersey, after all... I don't want to become the stereotypical New Jerseyan...


So you think you are better than me now huh? :lol: Are stereotypical New Jerseyans happy?


Watch Jersey Shore and decide for yourself. Or don't... you'll save brain cells that way.


Look at someone like "The Situation", he's an idiot who probably couldn't do most things to save his life yet women FLOCK to him and are ready to give them the only thing valuable they have (affection/sex/love).

Why is that? :idea:

As for New Jersey, it is probably my least favorite state, right up there with Massachusetts.

Having a partner does not lead to happiness.


Let's remember that the Situation was pretty much the most desperate loser of the bunch before he got famous. So first season, he was actually pretty pathetic and couldn't land anyone. Once you become famous, it isn't that hard to find someone, though that someone may very well just be an attention whore hanger-on trying to get some fame for themselves or a rep with your friends - "I dumped Situation!"

The second season was a farce, I stopped watching it. Now they are all relatively rich and famous, so the circumstance of them all living together and having to share a room is so ridiculous and contrived (even more so than season one, where it would be believable that people of their income level would have to share rooms and pool resources) as to make suspension of disbelief impossible.

You'll also notice Situation is much less of a jerk and a hater in the 2nd season, because now he is actually getting dates and girlfriends -- he's working through some of the issues that made him such an idiot juice-head in the first place. Haters hate because they don't get what they want, and others do -- that's why he was so awful and Machiavellian in season 1.



RICKY5
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17 Nov 2010, 12:57 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
emlion wrote:
Ew the Situation is gross. >.<


So you understand why I have to avoid inflating my ego by any means possible... It would be awesome if I was not of the jersey race, but alas, I have to make do with what I have. Avoiding the sun wherever possible and tanning booths may make me look a pasty white, but at least i'm not bright orange. Yeah I might be a bit fat, but by not going to the gym I don't have to interact with the "situations" of the world...


People at the gym are not all like the situation. Besides that is no reason to justify not taking care of yourself.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2010, 2:23 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
bla bla bla .....


Image
Pictured above: a stereotypical New Jerseyan...





It's still far better than the stereotypical Shiite Beirutian...
Image



Moog
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17 Nov 2010, 2:37 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
bla bla bla .....


Image
Pictured above: a stereotypical New Jerseyan...



That guy has crap abdominals. Why's he pointing to them?


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nthach
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17 Nov 2010, 3:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:


It's still far better than the stereotypical Shiite Beirutian...
Image

:lol:

All he just needs now is a few grendades clipped onto him and a Land Cruiser 70 Series or Nissan Patrol to finish off the look....



Mark198423
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17 Nov 2010, 4:02 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
what does?

I've heard time and time again the "just follow your passions and love will follow" mantra repeated ad nauseam, and I just want to say that such doesn't really lead to happiness. In my experience, following my passions -- music, audio tech, computers, etc -- generally don't make me feel "happy" when I engage in them. Even video gaming feels less like a true path of enjoyment for me and more just something I do. Generally, immersing myself in these interests just leads to undue stress as I get more involved in projects or other work surrounding these fields. For example, this past sunday I had to work 14 hours straight, from 7AM to 9PM, on a volunteer basis due to audio work, with only one meal break in there. If I was getting compensated I would just attribute it as "part of the job" and just deal with it. But I ended up getting overly stressed for nothing because I was "following my passions".

The only way I feel anything approaching enjoyment is through the love and appreciation of others. The closer and more meaningful the love and appreciation is, the greater an impact it has (on an exponential curve). I can't just "appreciate myself" as it were, as it is human nature to inflate self-worth, and as such I am an unreliable judge of my own character (which is why I assume the most negative outlook on the self as possible, to avoid an over-inflated ego). So I rely on other people to give me positive feedback to counter-balance.


This is pretty much exactally how I feel right now. I don't do the voulentary work as I have a full time job but the rest is pretty similar. You also mentioned in a later post you had a relationship last year - me too! It ended after 18 months on the day before new years eve but before that I was quite happy.

It bugs me that people can't seem to understand and just deal out the same advice. Emlion, who as someone already mentioned, seems to be someone who needs a relationship says she still knew her good qualities, etc. Well so do I, but I still feel very much like TOS right now. I'm about 2 months into starting Citalopram and it's helping a little but I still don't really feel too much better. Right now I can't see which way to go so I definitely feel for you Toad.



ToadOfSteel
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17 Nov 2010, 5:17 pm

Moog wrote:
That guy has crap abdominals. Why's he pointing to them?


Because he's a raging douchebag?



Kilroy
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17 Nov 2010, 5:20 pm

how do you know that?
he could be a nice guy



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2010, 5:21 pm

I am sure he's much nicer than my stereotypical 'image'......



billsmithglendale
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17 Nov 2010, 5:22 pm

Kilroy wrote:
how do you know that?
he could be a nice guy


Watch Jersey Shore, and then you will know as well. The guy really is a huge douche, TOS is not being unreasonable or haterish here.



nthach
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17 Nov 2010, 5:31 pm

I watch Jersey Shore just for comedic value. Although I will say, I was in New York back in August and I stayed in New Jersey and the part of Jersey I stayed at(Bergen County, near Hoboken and Weehawken, and a stone's throw across the Hudson from Manhattan) was full of Cubans and Puerto Ricans.