Aspie men: How do you win an NT girl?

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25 Nov 2010, 2:14 am

Smike wrote:

If they're not attracted to you then there's nothing you can do about that.

So I need to give up on women then sense none are ever attracted to me. I don't see what the big deal is about attraction. I like most any woman's who's nice to me after a while so I don't understand why women who know me & looking for a relationship are never interested in me

Smike
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25 Nov 2010, 2:17 am

Some people have higher standards

hale_bopp
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25 Nov 2010, 2:22 am

Nick, if you like any woman who is nice to you, why don't you try asking out some people before they put you in the friend zone. You will end up liking them anyway if they are nice to you.

nick007
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25 Nov 2010, 2:29 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Nick, if you like any woman who is nice to you, why don't you try asking out some people before they put you in the friend zone. You will end up liking them anyway if they are nice to you.

Then I will have no women friends because they will all get upset with me when I ask em out. Women tend to think I'm creepy or gay before they know me. I should be gay because gay guys are the only people who are ever interested in me

hale_bopp
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25 Nov 2010, 2:31 am

nick007 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Nick, if you like any woman who is nice to you, why don't you try asking out some people before they put you in the friend zone. You will end up liking them anyway if they are nice to you.

Then I will have no women friends because they will all get upset with me 1ce I ask em out.l Women tend to think I'm creepy or gay before they know me

Does that matter though?
If you ask them out eventually you said they get creeped out anyway, whats the difference apart from a few months of borrowed time being friends with them?
After a guy gets a girlfriend its not normal to hang around single girls anyway. So either you have 50 female friends who want to use you as an emotional tampon, or no female friends and 1 happy girlfriend. Which will it be?

If you talk to a lot at once surely you don't get attracted to all of them?

Also, you said you would take someone with learning problems. Have you been to any meetups for people with disibilities of any kind at all?

nick007
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25 Nov 2010, 2:43 am

hale_bopp wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Nick, if you like any woman who is nice to you, why don't you try asking out some people before they put you in the friend zone. You will end up liking them anyway if they are nice to you.

Then I will have no women friends because they will all get upset with me 1ce I ask em out.l Women tend to think I'm creepy or gay before they know me

Does that matter though?
If you ask them out eventually you said they get creeped out anyway, whats the difference apart from a few months of borrowed time being friends with them?

If you talk to a lot at once surely you don't get attracted to all of them?

Also, you said you would take someone with learning problems. Have you been to any meetups for people with disibilities of any kind at all?

I ran into some very major problems by asking out women who I didn't know. The problems I had by asking out women who I was friends with were not nearly as bad. The friendship may of got ruined but it wasn't always the case & none of the friends I asked out badmouthed me to others behind my back

I've used dating sites for people with mental &/or psychical disabilities & lots of the women on em were only interested in guys who had college degrees & good jobs. Lots of guys on those sites had similar complaints about women that I have here.

We don't have meetup things for disabilities in my area. I would go if we did.

CrinklyCrustacean
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25 Nov 2010, 4:47 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Nick, if you like any woman who is nice to you, why don't you try asking out some people before they put you in the friend zone.

Question about the friend zone. How long before you are in it? Some people say 30 seconds, others two weeks. From what I've read here it seems to be a totally individual thing, and the chances of being able to ask them out within the desired time limit are way less than 50/50. Also, the friend zone implies that nobody grows to love each other later on after they've known each other for a while. Is it really that bad? To me, the way it's been presented here makes it nearly impossible for anyone to avoid it.

Adam82
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25 Nov 2010, 5:18 am

nick007 wrote:

I'm often told by women that I'm a great guy but they don't like me in that way. Older women have told me that they wished their daughters or granddaughters would be interested in me but no women will give me a chance because they are not attracted to me. I'm sick of women coming to me to complain about the a-holes they are with & other problems & those women never want to hear about my problems. Those women keep insisting that they don't like me but when I make a comment about liking a certain girl or something those women get all upset over it. It's extremely frustrating for me watching women I care about going out with jerks when I know that those guys do not give a rats-azz about em & that those women will never be interested in me. Apparently I am a horrible monster because women would rather be with abusers than me. No matter how much I care & try; women are never willing to give me a chance. It f#cking sux :oops:

I don't hit women & I cant even hit a guy to defend myself but it seems guys who slap women have no problems getting em. I don't get it

I'm sorry you think that way about me Kaybee but women are NOT attracted to me when I am nice; I'm tired of always getting used & being alone

You remind me of myself Nick. I get told by mums that I'm 'such a nice gentleman', etc. And yet their daughters won't touch me with a ten inch barge pole. Maybe I was born in the wrong era

Women my own age won't come near me. I also am the gentlest guy you could ever meet, and would never harm or hit anyone. Yet violent sports jock douches get all the women. Go figure.

Caring about someone while she's off with some other guy does hurt. You're right.

Adam82
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25 Nov 2010, 5:20 am

nick007 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Nick, if you like any woman who is nice to you, why don't you try asking out some people before they put you in the friend zone. You will end up liking them anyway if they are nice to you.

Then I will have no women friends because they will all get upset with me 1ce I ask em out.l Women tend to think I'm creepy or gay before they know me

I have asked out female friends before. It usually makes the friendship really awkward afterwards. I feel saddened because we were really close before that

Craig28
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25 Nov 2010, 5:24 am

Smike wrote:

Some people have higher standards

Some like the hairdresser that rejected me have unrealistic standards.

hale_bopp
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25 Nov 2010, 5:27 am

Craig28 wrote:

Smike wrote:

Some people have higher standards

Some like the hairdresser that rejected me have unrealistic standards.

Then maybe you have a warped opinion of yourself then?

Craig28
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25 Nov 2010, 6:48 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Craig28 wrote:

Smike wrote:

Some people have higher standards

Some like the hairdresser that rejected me have unrealistic standards.

Then maybe you have a warped opinion of yourself then?

Yeah, a lower one. One that deems myself not worthy of companionship.

SuperApsie
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25 Nov 2010, 7:52 am

nick007 wrote:

I noticed that a few posters said to be yourself but that only works if women are attracted to the real you. If there not attracted to you; you don't stand a chance

I don't think they mean "hey, don't change anything, just try harder!" I think they mean "be a better yourself"

There is a dynamic that does not force you into someone else, we ALL know we can't change by force, sooner or later everything collapses like a house of cards. we ALL tried it, ALL of us have have met force from inside and outside and it DOES NOT WORK (sorry Anakin)

Dive into yourself see what are the positives in your thoughts, the simple act of realizing them and rephrasing them will start to change you. (see my previous comment in this post)

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emlion
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25 Nov 2010, 7:56 am

Craig28 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Craig28 wrote:

Smike wrote:

Some people have higher standards

Some like the hairdresser that rejected me have unrealistic standards.

Then maybe you have a warped opinion of yourself then?

Yeah, a lower one. One that deems myself not worthy of companionship.

You obviously think you are worthy of relationships because you asked someone out.

menintights
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25 Nov 2010, 10:04 am

Adam82 wrote:

I was reading Dr Tony Attwood's complete guide to AS, and he states that men with AS often seek out a partner who is more street smart; whilst Aspie women tend to want men like themselves. If that's so, how come I've not met any Aspie women yet?

At least I don't think I have.

Because men don't see women they're not attracted to.

I ran across an article about this once that basically says something like this:

Quote:

If a man walks into a bar, sees 20 women, asks 5 out and gets rejected by all of them, he's been rejected by 5 women.

The 15 women who didn't get asked out, they've all been rejected by him.

hale_bopp
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25 Nov 2010, 10:24 am

Craig28 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Craig28 wrote:

Smike wrote:

Some people have higher standards

Some like the hairdresser that rejected me have unrealistic standards.

Then maybe you have a warped opinion of yourself then?

Yeah, a lower one. One that deems myself not worthy of companionship.

So you think the hairdresser should have dated you? Why? I'm interested to know. What do you have to offer a "hot" NT who probably gets approached a lot? You never answered my question asking if you were hot. It seems like you've got a sense of entitlement more than anything.

You aren't asking "Whats wrong with me" you are saying "whats wrong with her?" you should be looking at the former question instead of blaming others.

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