Random tips for Guys and Girls thread in getting a GF/BF

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God how can you live amongst superficial fake happys? It's just so false.

It's still better than northern New Jersey and much of the NY/NJ/CT Tri-State area in general.

This.

'nuff said...

How'd I know you'd agree with me.

Even then, beyond the surface there's plenty of decent gals out there who aren't guidettes or ditzy trash. Just need to look a little harder for them. And once you know them, you'll want to be a better person in order to date them.

I don't think the guys on here realize how hard it is to find anyone, even for a good looking Aspie. A woman changed her mind about meeting me and said it was the age difference but I'm certain it was because she could tell I was "different." And you know what, I don't blame her. She has the right to want someone more conventional and social. NTs are socially high-functioning people. Some of them are judgmental a**holes, but it doesn't make a woman judgmental because she wants someone to relate to and on her level.

A lot of guys on here, including myself at one point, would have freaked out, chewed her out, and felt depressed. I wasn't expecting anything to happen from the beginning...hoped for the best, but was prepared for the worst...and she was surprised when I handled it with class and wished her luck and didn't flip out...because that's what most guys, even NT guys, usually do...flip out.

And I'm not losing any sleep over not being able to date her or sleep with her.

I know it's ironic that you have to not want it as much to be in the position to get it, but women can sense desperation of any kind.

And I've been asked "Well if you don't want it as much, what's the point?" That's exactly my point...you should be happy with or without someone.

Born here.

This whole place is fake, I was like 12 years old before I saw a tree that wasn't planted...

In stressful situations I often distract myself with amusing or happy thoughts, and it kind of comes out (I sometimes have to keep myself from laughing). Otherwise, I'm generally pleased with my situation and I just got into the habit of smiling when I'm pleased.

Once I get over initial nerves I usually just be myself. And I somehow attempt to talk about something and move onto other topics from there.

Always listen to who you are with, ALWAYS! Sorry for the caps, but a lot of people I know don't actually listen to their partners/potential partners and just think about sex all the time.

Thats another one, don't think about sex all the time because not only is that inapropriate but it also makes you look like someone who just uses people all the time. Quite a few people have been used weather it's for sex or just to make people jealous, if they even get an inkling that they could be used heavily by you, then they will flee!

Clothing to not wear:

•promotional/company shirts and hats: they make you look like a pauper who will wear anything.

•Khaki pants:Too bland nice and boring

•Golf/short sleeve polo shirts: You can only wear these if you have a great physique or are actually playing golf

•Cargo pants

•Photographer's vests: They don't help you and certain people will think you are carrying a gun

None of these things necessarily make you creepy.

1. Poor eye contact could be shyness. Shyness is only creepy to people who are ubersensitive to creeepyness.

2. Unchanging facial expression. Some people are taught to be stoic and and keep a "poker face."

3. Continuous smiling. This can be cultural; or as Grisha says, reagional

4. Extreme quietness. See #1

5. Speaking too loudly, especially if also in a monotonous voice. People can get loud when they're excited or nervous; neither are creepy.

6. Visible absence of social life (i.e., being lap dog to a specific person). They may be more social in a different setting. They may also be lonely. Loneliness isn't creepy, but it is sad. (being a lap dog is being a "Smithers" which can be a little creepy lol).

7. Being significantly older than the type of people you pursue. Maybe, maybe not. Age is just relative.

Bottom line: stop being so ubersensitive to creepyness!

What's a fixie?

What kind of people do you find in the San Jose/Silicon Valley area, in comparison to San Francisco or L.A./Orange County/San Diego? I am asking because there is a small possibility of me relocating there for career-related reasons.

Orange County sounds so much like Texas (except for maybe parts of Austin and Houston).

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 01 Dec 2010, 1:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It's not the reason you have for doing something that counts, it's how the things that you do make you look like to other people.

You don't think you're creepy, but then again in the bigger scheme of things your opinion rarely matters.

No thanks.



You can get away with grinning all the time if you have an outgoing and friendly personality, but otherwise I would stick with smiling.

Very good observation, you are nailed it exactly. It's like someone cut out a piece of Dallas and dropped it in southern California. Wish they would have dropped the good bass fishing too, though...

A fixie is a single gear bicycle, usually a track/velodrome bicycle or a road bike stripped of its derailleurs, multi-cogged crank and rear freewheel/freehub and cassette for a fixed one-way hub. It's a stupid trend if you're using a bike as your means of getting around.

I feel the San Francisco/San Jose/Oakland area is pretty diverse and somewhat forgiving of people who are odd like us. It's an expensive place to live in and commuting is hell but unlike LA, we have decent public transit. BART can get you into San Francisco during rush hour quite quickly, and there are commuter buses serving the East Bay(Oakland/Berkeley and points north), people from the East Bay ride in casual carpools which is basically a organized hitchhike, and CalTrain links the Peninsula(San Mateo/Santa Clara counties) to San Francisco.

There are some really ignorant snooty people in the Bay Area - but they stay in Marin, parts of San Francisco(Marina/Pacific Heights), Berkeley/Piedmont/Montclair and parts of Contra Costa County.