i give up.

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I was diagnosed years ago back in high school. But I have bigger issues, however, all a shrink's gonna do is give me a prescription for medication and say have a nice day. Back in high school, I almost killed myself on Zoloft.

I think I understand how you feel about all the family pressures. You're not defective, you're just guilty of being Asian! Seriously though, I'm Asian (and co-incidentally from the Bay Area as well!), and my parents are still very old school. It was such a constant struggle on a day-to-day basis living with them, their constantly reminding me that no matter what I did, they were always somehow more knowledgeable or better than me by sheer virtue of the fact that they're my parents. I only finally left the house at 24, when I went off to grad school in CT, but even then... anytime I set foot in that house again I can just feel all that oppressiveness and dread filling me up. I've tried to tell them what's wrong, I've tried to change them but they don't listen. So I've learned to stay away. I learned to focus on what I did have control over. What helped to keep me going though? Having somebody to talk to, who understood what I was going through. I'm lucky, I have a twin brother so it was easy to keep tabs on each other. And I know you feel alone right now. But you're not. There are numbers of people here on WP willing to listen. I myself will be PM'ing you shortly.

But as for WP's Love and Dating forum convincing you that AS guys are incapable of a successful romantic relationship, how about this: a lot of people come to WP because there is an issue in their lives that they want to address. In short, they come to seek answers, or they come to seek solace. Once they finally find that in their real lives, then a lot of the time they simply stop posting in the L&D, or WP altogether. Who's left posting are oftentimes the long-term despondent or the passive-aggressive types (I'm not naming names!!). So try not to get discouraged by what you read in L&D. L&D is only a snapshot of what's really out there. Once a plan starts coming together, you'll feel much much better.

It could be worse... at least you have looks going for you... there is no way any woman would want to get with my 300 pound ass on top of all that you just posted...

to the OP:
i would suggest a break in the action- do something totally off on a tangent- like, joining the military and travelling to another country, or joining the peace corp and travelling to another country. you have the existential equivalent of "writer's block" and you need a muse, and maybe radical travel [on somebody else's dime] will be your muse. just a thought. i'm rooting for you.

I'll tell you what my bf did. He sent me a message pointing out something specific I had in my profile, "I think it's cute you meow to your cats." I was surprised he read that far (it was in my "most private thing I'm willing to admit") and wasn't weirded out by it. We continued talking about our interests from there.

In all seriousness, I think you should focus your efforts elsewhere. Find an organization with an activity that you like (it was the Renaissance club for me) or take a trip to clear your head. I think you are a really nice and swell guy that had some hard times. You can do it dude, I believe in you.

Wait, didn't you just have a FWB a week ago? And now you're giving up on everything?

Seriously, a week ago. You had something a week ago. You can't do this again, or get better?

*very* good post.

One thing I might add that's kind of funny, I can relate to having a parent or two who hears Aspergers but neither believes nor agrees. Any time my dad brings it up, no matter after how many years, he firmly believes that I'm normal and just 'don't have confidence' because someone told me that something was wrong with me as a child. He'll at one moment tell me to stop caring what women think of me (I do and I don't to a healthy extent) and he then tells me that I need to get out more often and be where they are - which, ok, I'm cool with hearing the first part annoyed with hearing the second. Any explanation of what's really going on with me puts him in kind of a silent reflection like he's saddened that I still can't see that nothing is wrong with me and that this is all in my head.

Sounds like you both have 10x the pressure though from both parents. That has to be hard .

Or just get a lucrative job, a roommate or a few roomates to chip in for rent, perhaps by a multifamily unit and sublet to pay his mortgage and taxes. This way he can do all that - take big vacations across the globe, *know* that he's been places most people won't be, and there won't be any worries about long term obligations

In my own case right now I'm leaving on a twelve day trip to Aus and NZ from the US. I doubt it will fix everything but it will be a lot of fun and I'd imagine it'll help expand my awareness of the world, expand my understanding of what's out there - hopefully it won't just feel like America with different accents. Regardless though, I'm crossing the equator! I'm saying that as someone who's never even left the continental US, Canada's my farthest. Hoping to spend a week down in Buenos Aires either next year or the year after to scout out an MBA program and talk to a guidance counselor. It seems like, if life provides it, its much easier to get involved in things like international business and/or travel if you're single than if you're hunkered down with a family.

PM me dude. I'm not gonna talk about it in public.

I'm going up to Tahoe for a few days in a few hours.

I may have a job lined up for me after I graduate, sadly. Erisad's idea of going a group that interests me is good in theory - I joined a cycling club but 70% of the people in it are older - past their 40s!

f**k me.

Last edited by nthach on 09 Jan 2011, 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's great! You could meet people at work. And you'll have money, which is always good.

IT's male dominated. And I'll be working from my laptop at a coffee shop.

Girls go to coffee shops.

If there's a divorced woman in her early 40s, looks fit, and needs some affection... go ahead, be the young boy toy she can teach.

Yeah, they're a great place to just read and have a coffee or surf the web.

I feel like everything's going wrong for me.