Best friend confessed his attraction for me. Ick. Help?

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he said no-one would believe me.
and he only does it for my own good.
because i do bad things.

No one deserves to be hit. Unless you kill people or something extreme like that, you do not deserve to be hit.

Last edited by Jonsi on 10 Jan 2011, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Em, (in response to your earlier comment) nobody deserves to be hit. You don't deserve to be hit. It sounds like this "friend" is using you, and manipulating the fact that you care about him to control you and get what he wants from you. I think you need to break away from this poisonous friendship. I've had friendships that I've had to break for various reasons, and it's so hard every time, because I feel like a horrible person for doing it (plus I know what it's like to have no friends and to have friends drop *me*), but sometimes you have to put your own well being and safety first before the needs of others. My advice, as stated before, is to take the hard road and end the friendship, then afterward maybe try to put yourself out there and meet some new people to form some new and healthy friendships. I'm sure your boyfriend will be very supportive of you in this endeavour.

Keep posting, you have friends here who care about you. Don't worry about Stefan, he'll be back.

You don't need to hurt yourself, stay here and talk to us.

what if he doesn't come back?

and i know i shouldn't be his friend. i know, and i've known for a while but sometimes he's so just sweet to me i just forget all the bad stuff.
and bruises and bones heal. whenever i feel strong enough to tell him it's wrong he just tells me it's my fault and i deserve it and i believe him every time.

Last edited by emlion on 10 Jan 2011, 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Personally I don't think I would hang out with your "friend" again (I can't really stand to call him a friend, haha). But that's if I were in your position. My advice would be...decide what you're going to do about your friend (whether you want to hang out with him again or not) and after you decide, then decide if you want to tell your boyfriend about it. I say that because if I was in a romantic relationship and I knew my partner was spending time with someone that had abused them, I would be extremely upset. But if you aren't going to see this guy anymore, I would tell your boyfriend and maybe he could encourage you to stay away from him/vice versa in the future.

He will, Em, don't worry. He loves you. You're tired and upset and it's hard to see this clearly.

He needs a mental evaluation. Who thinks like that?! Seriously. No one deserves to be abused by anyone. You're a great gal who deserves much better than that. Oooooo, he's lucky I'm not in Scotland or I'd shank a b***h.

He will. Smple as that. A man will always come back to the ones they love.

If you need friends, you have the wrongplanet forums.

Edit; hot topic, I take it.

You could show this thread to your boyfriend tomorrow if you don't feel like talking or don't know how to explain it.

Others are right, you don't deserve the abuse and you should get help. Nobody hits you "for your own good" it's just a lame excuse.

He will come back. He always has before and knows you just need time to cool off. You can work this out.

You would assault a male who is known to be physically violent?! You wound him, he would do more then hit you back!

Anyway, he could report you for making a threat over the web.

Em - reading more of what you posted, said "friend" is a predator and is manipulating you. You have to break the manipulative cycle.

Regarding your boyfriend, I'm sure he'll come back soon, but please don't hurt yourself - it won't achieve anything and you'll be putting yourself in danger. This situation isn't your fault. As Erisad suggested, maybe a nice movie and a cup of hot tea/chocolate or something and try to calm yourself a bit?

I agree about showing it to your boyfriend.

And yes...it's just something a manipulative person would say to be intimidating, to try and keep you listening to them.

Hello. Obviously none of you have ever spoken to me, but I thought it's best to just not leave it so Em doesn't reply incase you worry.
Anyway - i'm her boyfriend and thank you all for believing I would come back (I didn't leave out of choice a such)- don't worry she can't scare me away that easy. I love her very much.

I just read the whole thread and thanks for all the lovely things you say to her. I was only aware of the one time he hit her- and even then she should have kept the hell away. If there's other times, it may seem a little controlling of me, but there is no way he is ever seeing her again. Knowing this makes so many things make sense now which confused me in the past, especially how she is around him sometimes.

I'm going to look after her now and make sure she's safe and happier than it looks like she has been. Thank you all very much for keeping her safe - it's lovely to know she has a safe haven to be in, because life is a little overwhelming sometimes.

I hope this has come off okay, I just didn't want to leave it so she didn't clarify she would be okay overnight. But now she will.

Thanks again, you have no idea how grateful I am she's safe and not self-harmed herself. And I hope it's okay I posted this for her.

-Stefan.

Oh get over it. It's my way of showing support for Em by saying something out of character. It's humor. I won't actually DO anything. :/