Full disclosure: new addition to my OKCupid profile

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The problem isn't the "I have aspergers" part. It's the "it sucks and it's very lonely" part

Saying things like that on a dating site comes across as very nagative and, whether it's true or not, you'll probably seem like the whiny type who just feels sorry for themselves

Seem like? I probably am that type. Best to warn any potential dates beforehand methinks.

I know what i should say. I should basically say "I have aspergers and i deal with it and it wont affect our relationship in the slightest". Which would be a lie and may get me one date but they'd quickly realize that it did effect me and then that would be that in my experience. You can only pretend for so long.

Writing that was an act of desperation anyway. I didn't get any messages when i didn't have that down either.

i think you could be better putting something like 'it makes me lonely but i do the best with it that i can.'

The last girl i was seeing, i made myself out to be normal and going places when i was chatting her up and we ended up spending a weekend together in London. Anyway i got depressed and anxious when i was there and she dumped me for it. I don't want anything like that to happen again because it hurt me.

If you're whiny and feel sorry for yourself all the time then you're unlikely to be very successful with women (or much else tbh)

+1

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I dont think theres anything wrong with being kind to yourself. I'm stuck in the house depressed most days so if i want to feel sorry for myself, i will. This stiff upper lipped stoic that everyones supposed to be- jesus f**k

it's nothing to do with that - when you're alone you can be sad and all that jazz, but i thought you were looking for advice on what to put on a dating site not how to live your life?

Volodja is right, girls generally don't go for negative things like that.
you might not like it, but it's the truth.

Why do people value success so much though? I reckon deep down they're just like me and need to be with a successful person so they feel safe and secure. I'm never going to be a conventional success because if i have anything to do with it i'll never work a f*****g day in my life.

england is mine and it owes me a living- Morrissey

Alright then. I dont think i'm ready for the dating game anyway.

I dont mean "successful" based on what OTHER people view as success. I mean your own personal happiness and whatever you want to get out of life (career you enjoy, feeling mentally stimulated, doing things you enjoy, being with people you love, whatever, I dunno). Why would people NOT value that?



Why?

Also, feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help your situation in any way, does it? I used to whine about my life and feel sorry for myself too. It did absolutely nothing. Eventually I grew up and actively tried to improve my life.

Because people with no qualifications are their employers prisoner and end up being imprisoned miserable for 40 years, 8-12 hrs a day until they get to retire to an old peoples home where they are left caked in their own s**t half the time until they finally limp out of existence. If that's a successful life then leave me out of it. When you've done that for twenty years and are so tired you have little time for anything else, then you can come back and lecture me about maturity.

i have no qualifications and love my job...

So you're just gonna sit on your ass and blame your s**t life on everyone else then (employers, society, whatever)?

Like emlion has demonstrated, there are plenty of people who have no qualifications and enjoy their jobs. You sound like you're just making up excuses for not wanting to work

And even if you were right about qualifications, what's to stop you getting some? Or are you just lazy?

Sorry to say this (actually I'm not - I think you probably need a relatity check), but it's no surprise you've not got the kind of life you want. Take some responsibility and DO something about it, or you have no right to complain

true that.
life deals a s**t hand to lots of people but you've got to make the most of it and work through the s**t.
i've been there and done it, it's as hard as hell, but it's worth it in the end.