How should I let women down online?

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You have yet to speak French to me, nor have you purchased me a donkey. Very disappointing.

I did get a message out of the blue from someone saying "You're hotter than Satan's a**hole" en espanol...
who then called me a b***h when my response was less than positive.

Yeah. Buncha crazies there.

No, I only message people who look potentially compatible - but there are plenty of those. Even if the online profile isn't a masterpiece, remember that's just a tiny snapshot - people have more depth in real life. Often I will start talking to someone and find common interests they never mentioned on their profile.

I'm not out to date just anyone but I need to contact a lot people to find the right one, I'm just going to use "I think you're great, thanks for talking to me, I've actually started to date someone now" if I have to end online contact with someone even though doing so makes me feel bad. If they do happen to ask me why I don't want to date them then I will tell them honestly.

so you're only going to go out with one of the girls you find online?

This might present a problem if the rejected party sees that you're still logging on everyday.

Maybe you can say something like, "Thank you for your interest. The truth is I joined the site because it was the only way I could view all the profiles. I'm not really ready to date yet. Good luck with your search."

Hhmm well I suppose it would depend on why I thought he was gross. If I thought someone was gross I don't think I would have spent any time interacting with them. I was assuming that the OP meant someone that he had been interacting with back and forth for a bit and then decided that he was not interested. I don't think it would be very nice to ignore messages from someone I was interacting with, I would have to let them know something. I have actually never been on a dating site so have not had that issue.

I was on another site (not for dating) where a member became obsessed with me. Even though I did not share his feeling in any way shape or form, I did feel compelled to let him know that the feelings were not mutual. I do not feel like I led him on in any way. He got very nasty with me, I did tell him that I did not appreciate his tone and also that I would not be responding to any future messages. He sent several more which I did not even read. He could tell I was not reading them, so eventually he stopped. The site would not allow me to block his messages or I would have done that after telling him I would not be corresponding with him any more.

Even though I really did not owe him any explanations about my feelings towards him, or have to let him know I would not be responding to his messages any more, I felt that it was the right thing to do. I think ignoring a person without giving them any explanation (if you have been interacting with them) is very wrong.

So I guess that since this person said some very mean and rude things to me, he therefore became gross and I still let him know what he could be expecting from me..which was no further communication

Good idea, I will consider this as well

Well ideally I would find someone I'm on the same wavelength as and chat online for a while then meet, I'm not prepared to go on many actual dates right now

As a man, I'd feel really insulted if you said that to me. It is a blatant lie, and comes across as utterly shameless. If you'd said instead that you didn't feel we were compatible, then at least I could reassure myself that you were being honest.

But I have said this. And it was the truth. I don't do well with lying. I cannot in good conscience tell somebody that we are not compatible when I don't even know the person. Reading a profile alone is not an indicator whether anyone would be compatible with anyone. And it is true that in order to look at more profiles, one has to register. Personally, I would rather not register. I like anonymity. But we gotta play by the rules, so off we go with our details.

I would be more upset if I liked someone enough to contact them and got told that he has met someone else, then find him logged on every day/night. I would only think of two things - 1) what a jerk...he lied to me or 2) what a jerk...why would he still be on when he's already dating someone. I dodged a bullet there.

In that case I apologise, you have a fair point. I suppose I should check the finer points of how dating sites work before shooting my mouth off!

Yes, definitely.

This isn't the way I would suggest going about it, but if you're going to do it this way, I wouldn't say anything to anyone about having met someone until AFTER you're exclusively dating one person.

Mais alors..... je n'ai pas assez d'argent pour t' acheter un âne de Classe S.

Well, that wasn't very romantic. *pout*

*sigh* ....une femme typique.....