don't feel I haev much to offer to the opposite sex

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Jonsi
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31 Mar 2011, 10:22 pm

Doublepost, I assume?

MXH
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31 Mar 2011, 11:00 pm

Yup, nothing to offer. I wish I could get 1 try at something real with a specific person but its not bound to happen.

Tequila
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31 Mar 2011, 11:43 pm

Bethie wrote:

So, that looks like a...mini-pie in barbecue sauce.

It's meat and potato pie with peas in gravy.

emuman100
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01 Apr 2011, 1:42 am

Tequila wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Laz wrote:

Do you have pie?

does a tarte aux fraises count?

Or perhaps…

I'd say this:

I might not be able to attract Bethie, but I'm sure most any women would appreciate Italian roasted chicken, if not for how it looks, how the small fills the house when I'm reheating it in the oven.

But to the point, I feel I don't have too much to offer to a women. Hell, I'd probably eat all the chicken before the women gets any, I'm very boring, I stay at home, I go to the same places, I'm very routined. My ex told me that I like to play with my "nerd things", meaning my electronics. I do like to go to places with good food, I do like to go to meetings and functions at my church, and I do like to hang out at the corner bar with my friends. At the same time, for the women who appreciates it, I feel that since I try to be a good person, I have that to offer, as well as being genuine, and being myself. I can crack jokes and make people laugh, and talk to them for hours about some scientific subject. I love to cuddle, and I do want close contact, and the occasional playing around. I don't need sex, I find it a bit more cumbersome than playing around, at least with my ex anyway.

As Aspies, I feel we have much more to offer than any neurotypical, though.

ToadOfSteel
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01 Apr 2011, 1:54 am

I feel like I have things to offer (steady 100% loyal companion for one), but it's not something many women would want. Not enough to overcome the boredom I give off, anyway...

MCalavera
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01 Apr 2011, 3:00 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I feel like I have things to offer (steady 100% loyal companion for one), but it's not something many women would want.

That's not a fair statement to make. Many women are after loyalty from a man. However, it's not the trait that sexually attracts them. That's the key.

Bethie
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01 Apr 2011, 5:38 am

MCalavera wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I feel like I have things to offer (steady 100% loyal companion for one), but it's not something many women would want.

That's not a fair statement to make. Many women are after loyalty from a man. However, it's not the trait that sexually attracts them. That's the key.

Is it?
Is sexual attraction the primary motivator in dating for women, or is it something else?

Also,
to say you have nothing to offer a woman because you have a boring routine/rarely go out/love to cuddle/etc
is to stereotype women as not liking those things,
when this forum is filled with lonesome geekish women who likewise live lives more outgoing people would call mundane,
many of them pining away for men to share them with.

_________________
For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.

Last edited by Bethie on 01 Apr 2011, 5:48 am, edited 2 times in total.

Bethie
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01 Apr 2011, 5:39 am

And, um,

MCalavera
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01 Apr 2011, 5:51 am

Bethie wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I feel like I have things to offer (steady 100% loyal companion for one), but it's not something many women would want.

That's not a fair statement to make. Many women are after loyalty from a man. However, it's not the trait that sexually attracts them. That's the key.

Is it?
Is sexual attraction the primary motivator in dating for women, or is it something else?

My bad. I should have said SEXUAL women.

Bethie wrote:

And, um,

I'm sorry. I try my best to look as good as I can be. It's just that it's the only suit I have, and there's nothing I can do about my vertically long bony head.

Bethie
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01 Apr 2011, 6:00 am

MCalavera wrote:

My bad. I should have said SEXUAL women.

Dude.

To be frank,
I'm really getting tired of you bringing up my asexuality in every thread we're both in.
It's not relevant to my observance of gender relations or human behaviors,
and it makes me uncomfortable,
especially since, if your messages are any indication, you can't rationally comprehend what it means to be asexual, even only in theory.

It's no different than if you'd just said "You can't competently discuss heterosexual relations as you've observed and studied them academically because you're GAY."
If anything, it'd make me MORE competent, because my observations are those of someone outside the sexual continuum.

To reiterate, sexual or asexual, NO, I do not think sexual attraction is THE deciding factor of whether most women decide to date a man.

Last edited by Bethie on 01 Apr 2011, 6:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

MCalavera
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01 Apr 2011, 6:08 am

Well, you're the one who keeps questioning the word "sexual attraction" in every thread we participate in.

And I respect your opinion (although I strongly disagree with it).

Thank you for your time!

hill-o-beans
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01 Apr 2011, 6:11 am

Yeah, it's like how people outside of a situation are better at sorting out the situation because theyre not involved.

Bethie
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01 Apr 2011, 6:12 am

MCalavera wrote:

If, by that, you mean a brief conversation we had in another thread about the difference between desire to have sex and sexual attraction to specific people,

which still wouldn't provide a context for you to incessantly bring up my own sexuality as if it's a joke to you (which, from what you've said before, it likely is).

If you disagree with my opinion about the THREAD TOPIC, then you might say why.

Frieslander
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01 Apr 2011, 8:29 am

Bethie wrote:

Jonsi wrote:

Hey, at least you just have nothing to offer. Not only do I have nothing to offer, I'm clingy and smotheringly loving, which is apperently bad.

And I have terribly yellow teef.

I'm a clinger, and very loving...

dunno bout the teeth, though.

YOu're a clinger, but you're not attracted to either sex? But who do you love?

Bethie
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01 Apr 2011, 9:19 am

Frieslander wrote:

YOu're a clinger, but you're not attracted to either sex? But who do you love?

I'm not attracted to either sex SEXUALLY. (A-sexual.)

Who do I love? Um...well, if I was in a romantic relationship, I'd love that person, but I'm not, so will have to be content with my kitteh.

emuman100
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02 Apr 2011, 2:12 am

Bethie wrote:

Also,
to say you have nothing to offer a woman because you have a boring routine/rarely go out/love to cuddle/etc
is to stereotype women as not liking those things,
when this forum is filled with lonesome geekish women who likewise live lives more outgoing people would call mundane,
many of them pining away for men to share them with.

Actually Bethie has a good point. I know my only two ex's said I was very boring, one more than the other because there really was very little romance. But I guess, to say those things, you are stereotyping most neurotypical women as to what they are looking for. Maybe us Aspie men would do better with Aspie women, because we offer what a lot of Aspie women want?

Bethie wrote:

And, um,

It can't be that bad, it was some of the best roast chicken I ever ate.

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