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A theory on why Aspies may struggle with women.

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emlion
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04 Apr 2011, 10:01 am

Bethie wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:

Sounds counter-intuitive, yes. But in my life, I've seen many women say they want one type of man and then end up dating someone entirely different.

If that makes no sense to you... then that's fine. It's my belief.


Do you ever notice all the women who DO date the type of man they say they want, or are those selectively-ignored?


Of course they are, silly.
Must only pay attention to data which backs up a theory- and ignore the rest as wrong!



Bethie
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04 Apr 2011, 10:02 am

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
emlion wrote:
Then why aren't you letting Bethie have her belief without attacking her?
You've managed to talk to me like a human being, can't you show her the same respect?


I'd love to. But she has shown me none. If she made effort to stop talking down to guys who want to know what it's like to have female contact, then that would be cool.


If there was a thread full of women rehearsing rigid rules about how to get men, and declaring that they have it harder when it comes to dating, believe me, I'd say the same things.


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Sallamandrina
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04 Apr 2011, 10:03 am

Daredevil-Aspie, both you and Bethie can express whatever opinions you want, as unpleasant or unpopular as they might or might not be, as long as you don't use personal insults and attacks. "You're acting like a b***h" is an attack, while your perception that she's being disrespectful is subjective and doesn't violate the TOS.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Apr 2011, 10:51 am

Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


That's why a men's sub-forum is necessary.



RainingRoses
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04 Apr 2011, 11:06 am

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Bethie, you've been disrespectful toward every man on this forum who seeks to improve his skills with women. You talk down to us, say you're laughing at us, etc.

No, not every man. She's been informative, helpful, caring, and pretty damn cool to me. I'm a fan. Just sayin'.

emlion wrote:
I think Bethie has a lot of good points to make.
If more men here paid attention to what the female members say they'd actually want they'd have a lot more success.

+1

There are some seriously sharp women around here, and we ignore their advice at our own peril...



Erisad
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04 Apr 2011, 11:41 am

Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


Yeah, it's so funny. "THIS ONE METHOD WILL WORK ON EVERY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME" Right. :lol:



Daredevil-Aspie
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04 Apr 2011, 12:01 pm

Erisad wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


Yeah, it's so funny. "THIS ONE METHOD WILL WORK ON EVERY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME" Right. :lol:


Nobody here has said that. :?

Way to completely pull something out of your ass.



Erisad
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04 Apr 2011, 12:08 pm

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


Yeah, it's so funny. "THIS ONE METHOD WILL WORK ON EVERY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME" Right. :lol:


Nobody here has said that. :?

Way to completely pull something out of your ass.


I'm just providing my commentary on most people who try to create a "guide to picking up women" or "why women won't talk to you" and other such rot. Women are not prizes to be won by meeting a specific rubric. If I see a guy being seductive towards me out of the blue, I'm assuming he's trying to rape me or manipulate me for sex and nothing more. Also, What is considered seductive? There isn't one universal-code for attractiveness. :?



ikorack
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04 Apr 2011, 12:38 pm

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Here, Bethie. I'm going to share our entire exchange to the public, since you saw fit to mention it. Notice that I said you were 'acting like a b***h'.

Bethie wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Do you have some good reason for being so disrespectful toward me on "Love And Dating" ?

Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


I rarely notice who the individual poster is here, though I don't know how what you quoted could possibly be construed as "disrespectful".


Bethie wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
I'll explain it to you then. It is TEN TIMES HARDER for males to enter the dating/seduction world than it is for females. And while we're trying to learn and improve our skills with women, here you come with some flippant comment about how you're laughing at us. That is disrespectful.


Men declaring that they somehow have it harder and rehearsing some rigid rules that are supposed to govern interaction with women DOES make a lot of men and women laugh, because it's so absurd. "Seduction"? :lol:


Bethie wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
It's the female that chooses the man, not the man that chooses the female. Choosing a sexual partner is a female's domain. So it IS harder for us. And I don't know why you're laughing at the word "seduction"... perhaps because you've never experienced it, and it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I've said my word. Re-evaluate your behavior and stop acting like a b***h.

Good day.


Pretty sure men choose who they have sex with.

And no, I've never had the pleasure of a whiny, insecure overly-rehearsed man trying to get in my pants- sad cause it'd be entertaining.

Your message has been reported- resorting to calling me misogynist names says a lot about you.


I would say the bold part is an attack. Also calling him a misogynist makes no sense he has just joined he can't possibly have enough posts for you to make that call.



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04 Apr 2011, 12:41 pm

Erisad wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


Yeah, it's so funny. "THIS ONE METHOD WILL WORK ON EVERY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME" Right. :lol:


Nobody here has said that. :?

Way to completely pull something out of your ass.


I'm just providing my commentary on most people who try to create a "guide to picking up women" or "why women won't talk to you" and other such rot. Women are not prizes to be won by meeting a specific rubric. If I see a guy being seductive towards me out of the blue, I'm assuming he's trying to rape me or manipulate me for sex and nothing more. Also, What is considered seductive? There isn't one universal-code for attractiveness. :?


No one in this thread has said anything resembling that, so yes it is an ass pull.



Erisad
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04 Apr 2011, 12:54 pm

ikorack wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


Yeah, it's so funny. "THIS ONE METHOD WILL WORK ON EVERY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME" Right. :lol:


Nobody here has said that. :?

Way to completely pull something out of your ass.


I'm just providing my commentary on most people who try to create a "guide to picking up women" or "why women won't talk to you" and other such rot. Women are not prizes to be won by meeting a specific rubric. If I see a guy being seductive towards me out of the blue, I'm assuming he's trying to rape me or manipulate me for sex and nothing more. Also, What is considered seductive? There isn't one universal-code for attractiveness. :?


No one in this thread has said anything resembling that, so yes it is an ass pull.


You mad? :P

Regardless of where I got this claim from, it doesn't mean that it isn't right. You can't expect some mystical online being to give you the key to every girl's vagina because such a key doesn't exist.



daspie
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04 Apr 2011, 12:54 pm

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Aspies struggle with social skills. This is a fact. It acts as evidence. I've lurked around this forum a while and have seen numerous threads about "how to" (Alpha Male guide being a prominent one), and many Aspies are indeed struggling with complex methods. This is a fact and also acts as evidence toward my original post. They're trying to be something that's unnatural to them, as I stated, and this could be why "awkward" is the buzz phrase around here. It's perfectly sensible to say that a dog walking around going "Meow!" would come across as pretty awkward to most people.

I could go with a lot LESS than that, and calling it a theory would STILL be accurate. So what was your point again?

I will work on the theory that I have few years later. Then I will post here about that :).



ikorack
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04 Apr 2011, 1:04 pm

Erisad wrote:
ikorack wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Everyone here realizes that tons of women get barrels of laughs reading all these formal theories about what would attract them, right?

:lol:


Yeah, it's so funny. "THIS ONE METHOD WILL WORK ON EVERY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME" Right. :lol:


Nobody here has said that. :?

Way to completely pull something out of your ass.


I'm just providing my commentary on most people who try to create a "guide to picking up women" or "why women won't talk to you" and other such rot. Women are not prizes to be won by meeting a specific rubric. If I see a guy being seductive towards me out of the blue, I'm assuming he's trying to rape me or manipulate me for sex and nothing more. Also, What is considered seductive? There isn't one universal-code for attractiveness. :?


No one in this thread has said anything resembling that, so yes it is an ass pull.


You mad? :P

Regardless of where I got this claim from, it doesn't mean that it isn't right. You can't expect some mystical online being to give you the key to every girl's vagina because such a key doesn't exist.


Who voiced such expectations here in this thread?



RainingRoses
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04 Apr 2011, 1:05 pm

ikorack wrote:
Also calling him a misogynist makes no sense he has just joined he can't possibly have enough posts for you to make that call.

I think it cuts the other way, actually. After all, it doesn't take much to identify mysogyny -- i.e., calling a woman a b**ch even once pretty much gets ya there. Whatever ... he may have just joined, but he appears confident enough to make some pretty broad statements himself:

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Bethie, you've been disrespectful toward every man on this forum who seeks to improve his skills with women. You talk down to us, say you're laughing at us, etc.

All this after a week?



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04 Apr 2011, 1:08 pm

ikorack wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Regardless of where I got this claim from, it doesn't mean that it isn't right. You can't expect some mystical online being to give you the key to every girl's vagina because such a key doesn't exist.


Who voiced such expectations here in this thread?


I don't know how I could be any clearer. Why else would there be dozens of threads claiming to have a "theory" as to why people with AS struggle with dating? Because people want the answer to this and sadly, there isn't just one answer or theory that works. Some work with some women and others can get you arrested. :P



ikorack
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04 Apr 2011, 1:13 pm

RainingRoses wrote:
ikorack wrote:
Also calling him a misogynist makes no sense he has just joined he can't possibly have enough posts for you to make that call.

I think it cuts the other way, actually. After all, it doesn't take much to identify mysogyny -- i.e., calling a woman a b**ch even once pretty much gets ya there. Whatever ... he may have just joined, but he appears confident enough to make some pretty broad statements himself:


Calling one person a b***h doesn't make you a misogynist even if that person is a woman. Heck if he though bethie was some kind of hell-spawn it still wouldn't make him a misogynist it would just make him hateful(note I am not calling bethie hell-spawn nor am I calling the devil hateful).

Erisad wrote:
ikorack wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Regardless of where I got this claim from, it doesn't mean that it isn't right. You can't expect some mystical online being to give you the key to every girl's vagina because such a key doesn't exist.


Who voiced such expectations here in this thread?


I don't know how I could be any clearer. Why else would there be dozens of threads claiming to have a "theory" as to why people with AS struggle with dating? Because people want the answer to this and sadly, there isn't just one answer or theory that works. Some work with some women and others can get you arrested. :P


Providing theories about why aspie men might struggle with dating is not the same as claiming to have the key to every vagina within walking distance. Also no one ever claimed any theories in this thread would get one a woman for dating, really the goal for devils seemed to just get laid. Even then no one said it would work on any woman.

Also no one suggested anything that could get someone arrested in this thread, all your points belong somewhere just not here.