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For those who have been a target of a PUA (pick-up arse)

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zen_mistress
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05 Jun 2011, 11:46 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
wefunction wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
You don't think it's bad that I saw the PUA tactics and slept with these men anyway?


No, because you saw the PUA tactics and made a choice to sleep with them. You did not make a choice to sleep with them because you did not realize you were fooled into it with PUA tactics. Should you have, instead, called them out on trying to be a PUA, condemned them, thrown a drink in their faces, stomped on their feet and spread news all over the internet about their shenanigans? Maybe... If that's where you wanted to go with it. But, as you said, you were horny and wanted to get laid so you went ahead and did just that. I see nothing odd or bad about that at all.


I think it makes me sound slu*ty, but okay.


The thing is, I agree that it is not the casual aspect of it I felt was wrong, but I dont like being lied to.

You knew what was happening all along, so you werent actually in the dark,

whereas many people who are swindled by lying people dont know and then feel creeped out and disgusted afterwards.


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wefunction
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05 Jun 2011, 11:46 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
wefunction wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
You don't think it's bad that I saw the PUA tactics and slept with these men anyway?


No, because you saw the PUA tactics and made a choice to sleep with them. You did not make a choice to sleep with them because you did not realize you were fooled into it with PUA tactics. Should you have, instead, called them out on trying to be a PUA, condemned them, thrown a drink in their faces, stomped on their feet and spread news all over the internet about their shenanigans? Maybe... If that's where you wanted to go with it. But, as you said, you were horny and wanted to get laid so you went ahead and did just that. I see nothing odd or bad about that at all.


I think it makes me sound slu*ty, but okay.


Personally I think the whole "slut" thing is asinine. It's middle school name-calling. I think adults can define their sexual identities better than that.

Edited: I erased a sentence. I know TEGH could understand it without being offended but I'm not taking chances with the current climate around here.



MXH
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05 Jun 2011, 11:48 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
MXH wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
I was at a time in my life when I was single. I realised that it was nice to have someone to be with. They behaved like it was the start of a relationship, and only later it started to become apparent that that wasnt their intention at all. So to me it was the lure of a relationship. It is easy for a Pick Up Jerk to pretend they are looking for a relationship.


this is something im afraid of. coming off as someone looking for a relationship if im not going to.


All you have to do is say that you are only looking for a casual relationship. Also look for someone who is on the same page as you about it. I cant see that there would be any problems.

In my case the guys didnt say they were looking for casual and did a lot of things that made things look romantic and made it appear like they wanted a relationship.


Maybe its lack of experience or what not but i can see myself mixing up things from a relationship and a casual sex partner into a way that would make it sound odd. Anyhow its not like im gonna get into either one.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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05 Jun 2011, 11:50 pm

wefunction wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
wefunction wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
You don't think it's bad that I saw the PUA tactics and slept with these men anyway?


No, because you saw the PUA tactics and made a choice to sleep with them. You did not make a choice to sleep with them because you did not realize you were fooled into it with PUA tactics. Should you have, instead, called them out on trying to be a PUA, condemned them, thrown a drink in their faces, stomped on their feet and spread news all over the internet about their shenanigans? Maybe... If that's where you wanted to go with it. But, as you said, you were horny and wanted to get laid so you went ahead and did just that. I see nothing odd or bad about that at all.


I think it makes me sound slu*ty, but okay.


Personally I think the whole "slut" thing is asinine. It's middle school name-calling. I think adults can define their sexual identities better than that.

Edited: I erased a sentence. I know TEGH could understand it without being offended but I'm not taking chances with the current climate around here.


Haha! I was going to reply to that sentence. You're right, I wasn't offended. I know exactly what you're talking about. It's the whole pure versus prostitute dichotomy. I don't buy into it either, but I figured I would take into account how some will see it that are bound to read what I wrote.


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wefunction
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06 Jun 2011, 12:02 am

Years ago I knew this early twenty-something guy who was a virgin. He kept referring to girls as "sluts". Every single girl was a slut, especially if she had a boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend, or flirted with him. Slut slut slut. Until he finally had sex. After that, he wasn't calling anyone a slut. I'm not sure how that fits with this thread, but I thought it was funny to share.



MXH
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06 Jun 2011, 12:06 am

wefunction wrote:
Years ago I knew this early twenty-something guy who was a virgin. He kept referring to girls as "sluts". Every single girl was a slut, especially if she had a boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend, or flirted with him. Slut slut slut. Until he finally had sex. After that, he wasn't calling anyone a slut. I'm not sure how that fits with this thread, but I thought it was funny to share.


its called jealousy.