Dear men

Post Reply New Topic

Ah, another "How can men be so stupid?" thread. The ironic thing is I see way more of these threads nowadays than the misogynistic ones you're so fond of complaining about.

Although in the year I've been here, I've seen way more misogynist ones than the other way around. Not saying either of them are right, I'm just giving my perspective. >.<

To Whome It May Concern,

Don't listen to generalized advice. Treat everyone you come across as a unique individual and if you wish to get closer to a particular one... get to know them and what they like.

Also, please stop trying to speak for an entire gender. It makes you look like a jackass.

Sincerely,
TeaEarlGreyHot

Whatever the score is, the OP is a hypocrite. I don't approve of misogynists or Nice Guys either, but there seems to be a double standard towards man-hating vs. woman-hating threads here. If you want to be bitter towards someone, then I'm fine with that; I'm not the thought police; but don't act like you have the right and they don't.

Dear Humans,

You will be doomed, resistance is futile.


The green aliens

I think you translated that transmission incorrectly. I'm fairly certain it says "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated."

it is "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated, resistance is futile".

TeaEarlGreyHot, I am not translating anything, It's just a random sentence and not an exact Star Trek quote. As you can see, those are the stupid green aliens and not the Borg.

and I chose the_face_of_boo instead of face of boe in purpose.

The problem with the OP to my mind is that it's not actual advice. Atleast when I ask guys i get an honest down-to-earth answer on how to do things differently, although most of the time i'm not even sure i can understand how to enact that advice to a specific situation, but this generalised "treat her like a person, get to know her"-stuff is to my mind what i've been doing my entire f***ing life to no avail.
So where does one go for advice on how to make women actually respond to you? I'm a decent looking, intelligent, perfectly nice guy who is the opposite of those bastards who can just pick up any woman they want. and honestly, no matter how much i think about it, I can't figure it out beyond it simply being some sort of god-given intuition on how to make women cream. Either that or i'm far uglier than I think i am.

And please, to all saying the whole "don't generalize". That's fair enough, I get that we're all individuals. But we're also animals with an animal-brain, and what I see out there is that some guys are hugely succesful with pretty much any type of girl while others have no success with any type of girl. Now it's pretty hard not to think there's a generalized answer to why this is happening.

And really, maybe that's why we ask guys? Because girls say "every girl is unique, there's no single key" or give out some generalized "treat her like a person"-bullshit that any idiot can figure out and which gets him nowhere. In fact, mostly when I compare myself to the guys I know who get somewhere with women, it seems that me thinking they're people is what's setting us apart. Because to the guy who's all the happy to lie to get her panties off or the guy who goes from girl to girl until he gets lucky, with no sense of remorse when he gets the "no", well to my mind, they are NOT treating them like people.

At the bottom line all we want is some simple actual advice on how to get somewhere with women, because it's lonely, sexually frustrating and just plain horrible to face rejection 20/20, and the OP is anything but that i'm afraid.

The problem with the OP to my mind is that it's not actual advice. Atleast when I ask guys i get an honest down-to-earth answer on how to do things differently, although most of the time i'm not even sure i can understand how to enact that advice to a specific situation, but this generalised "treat her like a person, get to know her"-stuff is to my mind what i've been doing my entire f***ing life to no avail.
So where does one go for advice on how to make women actually respond to you? I'm a decent looking, intelligent, perfectly nice guy who is the opposite of those bastards who can just pick up any woman they want. and honestly, no matter how much i think about it, I can't figure it out beyond it simply being some sort of god-given intuition on how to make women cream. Either that or i'm far uglier than I think i am.

And please, to all saying the whole "don't generalize". That's fair enough, I get that we're all individuals. But we're also animals with an animal-brain, and what I see out there is that some guys are hugely succesful with pretty much any type of girl while others have no success with any type of girl. Now it's pretty hard not to think there's a generalized answer to why this is happening.

And really, maybe that's why we ask guys? Because girls say "every girl is unique, there's no single key" or give out some generalized "treat her like a person"-bullshit that any idiot can figure out and which gets him nowhere. In fact, mostly when I compare myself to the guys I know who get somewhere with women, it seems that me thinking they're people is what's setting us apart. Because to the guy who's all the happy to lie to get her panties off or the guy who goes from girl to girl until he gets lucky, with no sense of remorse when he gets the "no", well to my mind, they are NOT treating them like people.

At the bottom line all we want is some simple actual advice on how to get somewhere with women, because it's lonely, sexually frustrating and just plain horrible to face rejection 20/20, and the OP is anything but that i'm afraid.

"simple actual advice" doesn't help as it is too generalized.... otherwise nobody would be complaining right now. it doesn't work to just throw out randome advice that isn't person-specific or situation-specific. it works better to get to know a certain person, and figure out how to connect with that actual person, as opposed to trying to get any girlfriend or have random women respond to you.

also, there is a difference between wanting to "get with" women and wanting to have an actual girlfriend. if you want to use the same techniques as men like those ones you know, who lie to get girls' panties off, then you sure as heck don't want to hear decent advice from the women here. we are not going to give you any tips for that. if you want to behave like a decent ethical person, then i suggest you ignore the techniues that those men use. so what if it works for them? they are acting like a**holes.

also, there is a difference between wanting to "get with" women and wanting to have an actual girlfriend. if you want to use the same techniques as men like those ones you know, who lie to get girls' panties off, then you sure as heck don't want to hear decent advice from the women here. we are not going to give you any tips for that. if you want to behave like a decent ethical person, then i suggest you ignore the techniues that those men use. so what if it works for them? they are acting like a**holes.

This may be a cultural thing, but I've noticed that when women are asked about dating advice, 80% of the time they will start to give out old-fashioned, 50s style dating advice such as 'get to know her, give her a hug, be nice'.
The interesting thing about this is that in reality, this doesn't actually work. My experience (mostly based on observation of how my friends and aquaintances have done it) is that most women won't actually 'commit' to a relationship until they've had sex. Once they've had sex though, a lot of women feel like they've 'given out' and almost always automatically expect a commitment.
Thus, some men (the ones who know how (a.k.a 'the alpha male')) are left with tons of sex because women assume it will make them commit. The rest of the men are given a chance at a date or three, maybe some kisses, until the woman eventually decides that she doesn't want him anyways, so he's dumped.
In other words... people (women in particular) should be less afraid to practice safe sex, don't get upset if they're not 'chosen' after a sexual encounter, and be more frank in letting other people know what they actually want. Even though women seem to claim so, there isn't actually much of a difference between 'getting with' a woman and actually dating her. The difference lies in the time spent and the commitment investigated.

To Whome It May Concern,

Don't listen to generalized advice. Treat everyone you come across as a unique individual and if you wish to get closer to a particular one... get to know them and what they like.

Also, please stop trying to speak for an entire gender. It makes you look like a jackass.

Sincerely,
TeaEarlGreyHot

Yes it is actual advice, you're just dismissing it. What a girl prefers in a man has nothing to do with her caving in to her animalistic desires and abandoning all her principles. It is mostly a conscious choice. Is it any surprise that chicks who appeal to douchebags are either just as narcisssistic or have a dependent personality?

There is no single key, cuz you can't expect any type of advice to make a chick to fall from the sky and land on your dick. One piece of advice isn't going to make everything conveniently fall in place. Hell, advice doesn't even have to be a solution. It can simply be something that keeps you on the right track.

Also, what type of chicks are you seeking anyways? If you're seeking bimbos, then you are not going to click with em unless you are just as shallow.

Here's one piece of advice from me, man to man: Listen. You can take her word for it when it comes to what women want as long as she's not a hypocrite.

Exactly.

It's painfully obvious you don't understand women yet you go to other men to ask how to pick up women or deal with women in general.
Are you too afraid to ask women?
I've also noticed that when men do ask women on how they want to be treated or how to go about it, what the woman says is quickly disregarded and the man retorts with ...No all women want jerks!

You have to be mean to women! You have to play mindgames with them!

Gee it's no wonder.

The problem is men have decided that the positive male attributes that alot of women find desirable are shoved into the category as jerk and twisted to suit that negative male's mind to keep him in a perpetual loop of false security.

That man with the false security blanket does not understand that underneath his blanket are also false security shackles and handcuffs that only women have the key too. He keeps asking the men for the keys. Then men instead inject him with lies and don't have the key.

It's like how neurotypicals attempt to explain autism but when they explain autism all that comes out is their own perception with no real inside information. If someone with autism that can speak or type tells the person that they are not accurate about this information the neurotypical gets defensive and tries to belittle the person who actually has autism and knows how it feels.

I am not that ambassador of all women but I can tell you that MIND GAMES suck! If you wish to hurt someone and torment them than go right ahead with the mind games. It just shows that there is a problem with you that if you don't recognize it, you'll never feel free.

Mind games don't work well on all women because we're not ALL the same. Just like not all men are the same. Some women are easily misled while other women are thinking "who does this prick think he is?"

Some women who've had to deal with torment their entire existence are thinking you are just another cruel jerk tossed into their life and want you as far away as possible.

Pick up artists get hundreds of rejections before they get their "YES" the thing is their ego automatically omits the word NO so they go on to brag about their "score".

Women know more about this than men do because they have been on the receiving end of it so have more experience in what worked for them vs. what did not.

It is fairly basic however.

The thing is, you should have some positive traits and promote those.

If you view of yourself as negative, it shows!

If you hate yourself for aspergers, that shows!

You can turn your own aspergers into a strength.

There are alot of women who view smart men as an alpha trait because that man could use his brain to get ahead in life and it's attractive if done right.

First of all, you do NOT want to be the evil scientist man who wishes to play the hot and cold game, flirt with this woman's friends or indirectly trying to unlock the code of if she likes you or not before making your move. You'll just drag it on forever and eventually hurt her. Then she will forever dismiss any man that reminds her of you as a jerk.

What you do want to do is share yourself. Talk about some things you find fascinating but keep it short and to the point (practice with this. I still struggle with this myself but am finally getting the hang of it), then if she is interested in you she will talk about a hobby of hers. If she is not talking about her hobby simply ask her what she likes to do in her spare time. From there you are building a connection.

It's okay to give space. It's a break so the other person can digest the event properly. If you don't give space and call too much or email or talk every single day, the person will feel you are a danger to them and could be a stalker. After a few days of a break, if she isn't starting conversation with you, start it with her.

If you do wish to date this person, make sure you understand what her interests are. Make sure you both share the same interest. If you don't and you have trouble feigning interest it will lead to disaster so it's best to be honest.

Shake her hand or give her a hug after the date. Don't call her the next day. Give her time to think about it. The three day waiting scheme is old and doesn't really work. In three days the woman is growing insecure about herself and not sure if you like her so by this time she may have figured out that you are doing the three day waiting and feels that it's a game so she will end up ignoring you to see how you like it.

Call her in two days. Just tell her you were busy but the two of you should have plenty to talk about. Invite her out to another occasion making sure it's something like a walk in a park. Something with a nice scene where the two of you can bond.

From there just be your quirky self but don't turn it into a negative. Turn it into a positive.

The truth is, men should stop just looking for ANY woman to just merely have sex with. Men like women are better off with those they can connect with and bond on a mutual level. Otherwise you get happy that you finally got laid and marry the one who you don't have a strong connection with but at least she didn't say no! You get married or long term girlfriend only to find that you've met someone you actually did feel a real connection with but you are bound by this other person out of convenience at that time.

"simple actual advice" doesn't help as it is too generalized.... otherwise nobody would be complaining right now. it doesn't work to just throw out randome advice that isn't person-specific or situation-specific. it works better to get to know a certain person, and figure out how to connect with that actual person, as opposed to trying to get any girlfriend or have random women respond to you.

also, there is a difference between wanting to "get with" women and wanting to have an actual girlfriend. if you want to use the same techniques as men like those ones you know, who lie to get girls' panties off, then you sure as heck don't want to hear decent advice from the women here. we are not going to give you any tips for that. if you want to behave like a decent ethical person, then i suggest you ignore the techniues that those men use. so what if it works for them? they are acting like a**holes.