A suggestion for men who just want a woman

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The thing is this Asteroid, you mentioned a lady who was a double in physics and electrical engineering. She probably had similar wiring to yours and preferred directness. There are women like that all over the globe. Same with passion.

So directness and passion.

Maybe a blunt musician, artist, dancer or writer (combination of any other creative outlets) with other hobbies that may include physics, collecting within reasonable means and/or computer related subjects.

You get passion+straight forward+smart

That can be found all around the globe just not in an abundance.

Chemistry and the connection is what sparks passion between two people.

Put a passionate person with a person she or he feels little connection with and that equates to not so passionate experiences.

"An elephant is like a rope"

"No, no - an elephant is like a serpent!"

"Oh, no, you are mistaken - an elephant is like a wall!"



This thread cracks me up.

I don't read those magazines. I've seen a site called don't date him but that is refined to that one man for what he did to someone. Not "Here's a list of men you should fish for with this body size and geographical location!"

If women did the same thing and started being ultra picky based on these same lame categories women are put under as either "easy pickings" "Sluts" "Not slu*ty enough" "Won't cheat on me cuz she's like desperate and stuff" "Will allow me to treat her anyway I want cuz I'm saving her from her homeland"

No, it's not that nit picky.

I used to read those magazines (they aren't interesting anymore now that I'm older) so I know what Face of Boo is referring to. He's absolutely right. These magazines (Self, Glamour, Mademoiselle etc. in the U.S. and I assume similar in other countries) absolutely do divide it up just that way. Where the Men Are lists are a staple. My perspective is U.S.-centric because that's where I am so the magazine articles all gave U.S. locations and professions in their lists. But since Face-of Boo is in Lebanon, I will take that as evidence that this sort of thing is worldwide, even given a sample size of two countries.

For quite a while, back in the 80's and early 90's, the men were purportedly in Alaska (in the U.S.) and women were advised to move there to find a man. That is analogous to Chronos advising going to anime conventions and Ren fairs.





Women have different categories because women aren't looking for quick sex (for the most part) and so will not see "easy" or "not slu*ty enough" as meaningful categories. The most common categories for women to divvy up men into are categories of what sort of long term relationship men would theoretically get into. So you get The Marrying Kind (the single most desired category) or Prince Charming versus Slacker versus Loser versus Mama's Boy and so on. These divvy up men not by sexual willingness (an irrelevent category for women) by by long term relationship potential.

I do see your point about not guiding men into thinking a particular group of women is A Sure Thing (a cute 80's movie about the perils of doing just that). It leads to an imbalance where the men think they are doing the women a favor by picking them "even though" they are in one of those categories. And that dynamic is toxic to relationships, as you illustrated in your anecdotes. But I don't think Chronos was doing that. She was just trying to get men to pry their eyes away from the traditional "hottie" who is swatting away dozens of men and will not notice them...ever. And she certainly wasn't trying to set up a Fat Saint versus Thin Demon dichotomy to bully thin women.

I actually fit ion one of those categories (or did when younger)...the Plain Jane Geek Girl she desribed as wearing t-shirts, no makeup and unstyled hair. In my youth I was sometimes hit on by men even when in the company of women considerably more stylish than me. It is quite likely that some of these men just thought they had a better chance with me because my non-fancy plain-ness would make me desperate. But since I wasn't actually desperate, I didn't get sucked into any relationships where I would feel grateful merely to be noticed. Rather, some of these men seemed to pat themselves on the back for finding what they sometimes called a fascinating find in a cardboard box. I guess I just really had a drab exterior which made them feel like discerning artistes for seeing the not-drab interior. Or something. I think Chronos is trying to foster that sort of discovery. Not pity sex.

I realize I was generalizing, and I know that is bad. And I'm not trying to be 'down' on American women. Quite honestly, I love all women, generally speaking again. But I think that culture DOES play an important part in how relationships form and develop. It also plays a part in the development of individuals -- and I think American culture is rather insidious and damaging to young women and men.

Another personal anecdote that has been enlightening happened with a friend of mine who's French Canadian. For ten years he and I were in L.A. (granted, having its own problems), he couldn't get a serious girlfriend. He became so depressed, thinking it was something wrong with him, that he moved back to Montreal quitting his burgeoning career in the film industry. Lo and behold, within 6 months he had a serious relationship, and they've been together for 3 years now. The cultural differences were just too much for him in L.A. He sought open, lively, expressive women, but they all seemed, in his words, closed off and too guarded.

He is one of my very best friends, and when we get together, do we talk about hockey? Or video games? Or other supposedly 'manly' things? No...we talk about feelings, emotions, loves in our lives, passions. I can't have these discussions with my male American friends. I've tried. They get all embarrassed, haha, and change the subject.

Point being: As an Aspie, as someone nearly blind to body language, the brighter the light, the easier it is to see. And because Latinized cultures seem to value passionate expression more than American culture, it means I have a higher chance of connecting.

If men all went for just traditional hottie, there would be alot of single people. In my life I don't really see alot of men just going for traditional hottie but alot of women seem to gather that assumption then turn around and insult those they find attractive then cry if the woman retorts back.

In regards to those magazines, now that you mention it, I remember my stepmom used to read those. My dad came home with roses one day and she slapped him. He said Why did you do that for? She mentioned in a magazine that it's a sign that your man is cheating on you

I think these magazines are poisonous to women and I hope women will stop being b*****s towards one another and put down these stupid magazines. Give it a couple of months without gossip, without these magazines and feel yourself free.

I have seen alot of fat vs. thin where fat is always the victim who is superior in bed and skinny is stuck up and just obsesses about their makeup and weight. It really produces more unfounded hate and prejudice in people's minds. I can show many examples of this and how it's become okay to demonize, pick on thin women and then cite Vogue magazine as their reason. "Well, skinny b*****s are always on magazines and it's unhealthy!" Except what they fail to understand is that it's the magazines, the men behind the scenes and not that random thin SHORT woman who isn't going to be a supermodel because they are picky as hell and she has too much ass for their standards or is over an A cup.

It's not her damn problem.

Women just put the damned Vogue magazines out of business if you don't like it. You aren't being forced. Shut it down as Chef Ramsey would say.

There isn't enough fair representation of all different types of women. Industry standards really equates to self hate and making women feel the hate towards other women. It's brainwashing. They always say supply and demand when they are the ones feeding this one-sided crap out like a farmer shovels cow s**t. People get adapted to the message that it is the norm therefore correct.

So why can't an aspie here on Wrong Planet go make millions putting out magazines that shows several different body types of women? THAT would be refreshing. You would bank and start a revolution. It must be done by an autistic person.

You come across as having a healthy realization and view on that subject in contrast to alot of others who do that. Just don't become prejudice if you happen to come across someone your area you find to be that way and dismiss that person over it.

Also, LA??? OMG...seriously? I can see where there would be problems on a grand scale. The culture in LA is so obsessed with money, fame, drugs. Not everyone in LA however falls into that trap but great he found someone elsewhere!

Well thank you...it's taken a lot of personal work, as I'm sure many of you are aware in your own lives. And you're exactly right that I should be mindful of prejudices. And I don't exclude any culture or ethnicity out of hand. In fact, last month I met a woman from northern California who was very open in the way I mentioned -- we hit it off rather well, but unfortunately she has a bf.

And yes, LA can be an abyss. It's a freaking mindfield for those with AS because people can be so superficial and really emotionally dishonest. They'll kill you with kindness, or lead you on because of how you can advance their careers. This is bad for NTs as well, but I think they'd be able to navigate the cues more successfully.

what the dick is going on here?

Supposedly there is truth to this if you're American and date abroad in China or something. I think it has something to do with how women are treated in the culture (with less rights than men) and that Americans are considered to live better. So they are happy to date outside the culture (better rights) and will expect you to support them, but in return will feel more of a devotion...supposedly; it sounds good in theory. I'm sure AS takes all the best reasons for those women out of the equation though and screws it all up, generally speaking.

What about dating other people with AS? The chances of having full-blown autism in a child go up, but meh, supposedly it can work out really well. I've heard from couples on other boards (MBTI) that have had all autistic children and deduced that the couple both had all the signs of having AS, but probably never got a diagnose or believed that there was anything all that off about them to consider autism in any degree. But I really think it could work best. Both would understand and appreciate each other a lot more than with an NT person. NTs really don't appreciate the continual patience and calmness and being gentle and preferring to often partake in the world in smaller intellectual doses (lest you be overwhelmed). I don't imagine any of these relationships with NTs ever work out that well for either person; it's like an NT and an AS person both take in and appreciate completely different things about the world.

It also doesn't make sense. I mean to write "plain". Yes, beauty is subjective yet most of us can still agree on what generally constitutes ugly and what generally constitutes pretty.

With the exception of a large majority of women at AA meetings, who aren't actually any more desperate than the men who just want a woman period, the groups I mentioned, most of the groups I mentioned are just women who tend to get overlooked. That doesn't mean they don't have their priorities and they may certainly turn men down but I think they are generally going to be more receptive to a man who is interested in them, and they generally have more substance.

Ever since I read a Scientific American article some years ago about the science of beauty, I've been less enamored with traditionally accepted beauty. From the article, it turns out our perception of beauty is based on the best average of features. Eyes averagely spaced, nose averagely placed, etc. The best average of features connotes 'healthy' in our subconscious -- according to the article. So when I see someone who triggers that 'gut' sense of beauty, I realize it's just my genes telling me this person has the best average of features.

Now I prefer women with cute, quirky features.

I have no idea. D:

This thread is a joke, right?

No...not originally anyway.

And for the record Grisha, it was not written with you in mind. I know you are looking for someone special in life, not just any woman.