I would date you if I were single....

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14 Aug 2011, 7:50 am

Heard that... and I don't think it's BS unless it is said sarcastically like as an insult. But I was said that truthfully so yeah I don't think BS in my case but who knows in yours.

spongy
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14 Aug 2011, 9:52 am

Heard it a couple of times and my reaction is usually thanks "I really appreciate your effort but I dont enjoy pep talks".

I would rather have a real reason becuase that would mean i have something to work on for future refferences instead of a white lie.

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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14 Aug 2011, 11:29 am

Grisha wrote:

Even I, the most pessimistic/paranoid person I know on this subject, can't figure out anything sinister in those statements, not even a white lie to protect your feelings.

I think we may have to consider the possibility that they actually were sincere...

I agree. People change their minds and circumstances change all the time. It doesn't mean they were insincere when they said it.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Aug 2011, 5:39 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Grisha wrote:

I agree. People change their minds and circumstances change all the time. It doesn't mean they were insincere when they said it.

It can't be a coincidence when people change their minds about that every time.

So they were either insincere or they really didn't mean it.

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15 Aug 2011, 6:46 am

How do you want to be rejected?

But in defense of these women, I think I should point out that a lot of times women see traits in a man she is not attracted to that she knows other women consider assets.

I had been of the opinion that one of the men in my neighborhood would have made a great husband to some woman. He was responsible. He could have rather deep conversations. He was handsome, physically active, and had an artistic side, and, he wanted a family.

We were certainly not each other's type for many reasons but I could easily see he was generally the type a lot of women go for.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Aug 2011, 10:33 am

Chronos wrote:

How do you want to be rejected?

"No because of <reason>" or "No because you are <reason>".

or just

"No, I am not interested" Period.

But those statements in my OP were rarely said in a rejection context but mostly were said out of the blue, in the usual daily life, and not even during some conversation about relationships.

The thing is that I measure my past relationship achievements (which is null) and I see no correlation between them and between those claims.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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15 Aug 2011, 11:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Grisha wrote:

I agree. People change their minds and circumstances change all the time. It doesn't mean they were insincere when they said it.

It can't be a coincidence when people change their minds about that every time.

So they were either insincere or they really didn't mean it.

I don't believe in coincidences. However, I do believe often times our perceptions of what others truly want from us can be very wrong.

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Spazzergasm
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15 Aug 2011, 1:08 pm

No one's ever said anything like that to me.
My parents have said I'm going to have relationship problems and make a guy miserable though.
I don't like them very much. They always put me down.

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15 Aug 2011, 2:43 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:

No one's ever said anything like that to me.
My parents have said I'm going to have relationship problems and make a guy miserable though.
I don't like them very much. They always put me down.

Then you are lucky.
My parents said I'm gonna be a challenge if a guy ever tries to marry me.
I don' like it either, I know I'm a difficult personality, but they don't need to shove it in my face every 5 seconds. But I try to ignore it. That really sucks though, try your best to ignore it or try and talk it out with them....parents shouldn't be so rude. (and if that doesn't work, you could always cry :wink:

)

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blitzkrieg
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15 Aug 2011, 7:50 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:

No one's ever said anything like that to me.
My parents have said I'm going to have relationship problems and make a guy miserable though.
I don't like them very much. They always put me down.

Aww. I'm sure you'll make whoever you end up in a relationship with very happy. They sound like douchebags!

Adam82
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15 Aug 2011, 8:09 pm

I've heard this line before from a work friend who told me she had a boyfriend. 'If I were single, I'd be flattered'. I wonder if she actually would date me if she was single. I suspect it was just an excuse to reject me. If girls really thought they'd date you if they were single, I wouldn't be a nearly 29 year old involuntary celibate virgin.

HybridAP
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15 Aug 2011, 8:21 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:

No one's ever said anything like that to me.
My parents have said I'm going to have relationship problems and make a guy miserable though.
I don't like them very much. They always put me down.

Well at least your parents gave you some kind of input. I never got told I was good at something I was not, but I was also never told I was good at something that I really was good at other than a few things when I was younger. They didn't put me down at all either. They just never really said much at all. I was just the kid they took care of. Yea it was nice that I was never insulted, but it kind of left an empty feeling inside me because I never had a really close emotional relationship with them.

URtheALIEN
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15 Aug 2011, 8:41 pm

Hey no offense to those who are LGBS but my dad always said "What are you gay?” um no and thanks. I am sure that a person that has no idea at age 15 how to explain their own feelings and understand the opposite gender really needs to think about sexual identity to. Like I say, no offence to those that are gay, but do you want to be called something you're not?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2011, 4:54 pm

URtheALIEN wrote:

Ok, but what that has to do with this thread?

MountZion
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17 Aug 2011, 5:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I am hearing such things from taken girls (real life, not online) or sometimes older women all my life:
"I would date you if I were single"
"I'd envy whoever become your girlfriend"
"I envy your future wife"
"Your girlfriend would be a lucky"
"There's nothing missing about you, any girl would want you" (whoa! that was too much).

Have you ever heard such things from female taken/friends/relative? And seriously, how valid are these claims? For some reason I feel they're exaggerating and not being totally affront, If there's any validity in those claims then I wouldn't have remained my entire life single till to this age, been always rejected and never been getting any single girl's attention/interest , if they were all valid then I would have a line of girls waiting on my doorstep, but there's nothing there but that annoying rat that he keeps sneaking in and leaving disgusting mess behind. Grrr..... and the glue trap isn't working.

PS: I just want to stress on the point that those are usually said out of the blue, I never discuss about my relationship problems with people (in real life) out there nor I show any signs of frustration about it, never.

LOL I have had all of those at some point lol.

My favorite one is "I wish all hot guys were like you". It was flattering and frustrating at the same time lol. Still....it could be way worse....

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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2011, 5:11 pm

I got this "if only all guys were like you" too.

Are their brains synchronized with each others across the oceans?

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