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Humperdinck
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06 Sep 2011, 7:10 am

Grisha, I know the answer to your problem, switch teams and date me.

Grisha
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06 Sep 2011, 7:20 am

Humperdinck wrote:

Grisha, I know the answer to your problem, switch teams and date me.

I've always thought I would make an outstanding homosexual, but my libido simply won't get with the program...

Moog
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06 Sep 2011, 7:33 am

Grisha wrote:

Humperdinck wrote:

Grisha, I know the answer to your problem, switch teams and date me.

I've always thought I would make an outstanding homosexual, but my libido simply won't get with the program...

There's probably drugs you can take for that now.

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Humperdinck
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06 Sep 2011, 7:36 am

Grisha wrote:

Humperdinck wrote:

Grisha, I know the answer to your problem, switch teams and date me.

I've always thought I would make an outstanding homosexual, but my libido simply won't get with the program...

Oh you break my heart.

In all seriousness though, i would prefer to be single then see someone who wasn't up to my standards. Although what i find attractive and beautiful is not at all mainstream. So much so that most people that fall in my ideal, are single. When i do work up the courage to approach a person, they usually think it is a joke and i try to hind behind forced humour and the promise of a FWB's type relationship.

Grisha
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06 Sep 2011, 7:39 am

Moog wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Humperdinck wrote:

Grisha, I know the answer to your problem, switch teams and date me.

I've always thought I would make an outstanding homosexual, but my libido simply won't get with the program...

There's probably drugs you can take for that now.

A pill to make you a sausage fancier?

We truly live in a remarkable age... :wink:

hale_bopp
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06 Sep 2011, 7:45 am

Grisha wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Having standards is fine.. as long as you don't whine about not being able to get anyone. Whine about not being able to get girls you WANT, but don't expect a lot of people here to sympathise

I'm the same. So I don't whine about being single - I don't have a right to.

That's very noble of you Ms Bopp :wink:

I'm curious though: are there any guys out there that you like but won't have you?

Personally, there's at least one woman out there that could make me her boyfriend on demand (after I made an appropriate symbolic resistance of course :wink:

) - so maybe my "dateable" threshold is lower than yours?

What guys would I like that won't have me? Ones in relationships usually. The men I like are always snapped up very quickly because they are such a great catch. True alpha, tall, really nice, confident, successful and handsome (to me, anyway). :oops:

I would be very lucky to get any of these men in any case, but it doesn't matter because I don't mind being single. After settling once for a guy I wasn't *that* into in the past, I would NEVER do it again.

In laymans terms, I'd rather be single forever than date someone who isn't a 10/10 for me.

Could you re-phrase the last paragraph please? I'm having a brain fart moment.

Grisha
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06 Sep 2011, 7:52 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Could you re-phrase the last paragraph please? I'm having a brain fart moment.

I was just curious about the comparison of our relative "dateability" thresholds. I know several available women whom I would be thrilled to date, I was just wondering about you.

hale_bopp
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06 Sep 2011, 8:00 am

Grisha wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Could you re-phrase the last paragraph please? I'm having a brain fart moment.

I was just curious about the comparison of our relative "dateability" thresholds. I know several available women whom I would be thrilled to date, I was just wondering about you.

At the moment, I don't know any available or unavailable men I'd be thrilled to date. I don't get out much. The last person I was thrilled to date left the country years ago. And coming cross people I would be thrilled to date is rare.

Thing is, I don't look at people and think "I would be thrilled to date him". I just get to know people as friends, and if an infatuation develops it develops, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

You also have to keep in mind I'm not often attracted to people. Several times in life I thought I was, but it was short lasting. Only once have I ever been with a guy who I was fully attracted to.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 06 Sep 2011, 8:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

Grisha
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06 Sep 2011, 8:04 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Grisha wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Could you re-phrase the last paragraph please? I'm having a brain fart moment.

I was just curious about the comparison of our relative "dateability" thresholds. I know several available women whom I would be thrilled to date, I was just wondering about you.

At the moment, I don't know any available or unavailable men I'd be thrilled to date. I don't get out much.

Oh, we're probably about the same then - I just have the luxury of having a much wider geographical area to draw from - I'll jump on a plane in a heartbeat if the opportunity presents itself...

hale_bopp
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06 Sep 2011, 8:05 am

Grisha wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Grisha wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Could you re-phrase the last paragraph please? I'm having a brain fart moment.

I was just curious about the comparison of our relative "dateability" thresholds. I know several available women whom I would be thrilled to date, I was just wondering about you.

At the moment, I don't know any available or unavailable men I'd be thrilled to date. I don't get out much.

Oh, we're probably about the same then - I just have the luxury of having a much wider geographical area to draw from - I'll jump on a plane in a heartbeat if the opportunity presents itself...

I don't think that's it. Even out of online people it's still the same for me. BTW I added more into that post up there.

Grisha
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06 Sep 2011, 8:15 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Thing is, I don't look at people and think "I would be thrilled to date him". I just get to know people as friends, and if an infatuation develops it develops, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

I'm much different at first - When I'm single, I instantly evaluate someone as dateable/undateable, then it either grows or fizzles from there. Sometimes someone will become "dateable" over time though.

The only universal characteristic is that they must be categorically unattracted to me. :roll:

hurtloam
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06 Sep 2011, 9:03 am

HopeGrows wrote:

MountZion wrote:

I am the same, do not wish to settle for someone I have no attraction to. I sometimes used to think of myself as shallow because of it, but I realised that nobody should have to date someone they have no attraction to.

I've never understood why anyone would feel like they "had" to date someone they weren't attracted to. It's a terrible thing to do to a person (either feign interest or make it painfully clear that you'd rather be anywhere but on a date with them). I just can't imagine why anyone would put another person through that kind of pain and humiliation. Why would you want to entice someone to make an emotional investment in a relationship with you when that's precisely what you don't want? It just seems incredibly selfish to me.

True, I've been told before just to go out with someone who asks me so that I don't feel so lonely, or to get experience, or for something to do. But I've never wanted to lead someone on that I see no future with.

However, I think that some feel they should date someone they aren't attracted to because the only people who ever show any interest in them are people whom they are not attracted to. So, catch 22.

They think: "Do I go out with him/her and see if something develops? Maybe he/she is more suited to me than I imagined at first. Maybe I should take a leap. Maybe my ideals are too high or unrealistic. Maybe I should take this step and make a change in my life. Maybe I don't want to be alone anymore."

I've been thinking about this song alot lately, All at Once by The Fray.

Quote:

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

Maybe what you want has been in front of you all along.

nick007
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06 Sep 2011, 1:19 pm

Grisha wrote:

Whenever I get all emo/whiny about being single, it helps to remind myself that I'm essentially single by choice - if I really wanted to, I could easily be in a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to.

I think this is true for most of the guys here as well...

It was NOT true for me a few months ago when I was single. It seemed like I couldn't get anyone. Megz is kind of the opposite of some of my ideal standards that I had then but I was so desperate that I was willing to give most anyone a chance & I am extremely happy I did because I realized that those ideal standards I had were waaay wrong. things I was worried about being poteitial problems are actually great strengths.

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Joker
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06 Sep 2011, 2:08 pm

Im gonna try to stay single for a little while longer their is a girl I like that knows I like her im just waiting for the perfect moment to ask her out :oops:

ValentineWiggin
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06 Sep 2011, 7:56 pm

I threw almost all my standards out the window to date my current bf, and I'm glad.

I still do wonder if it will work in the long run, though.

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liveandletdie
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06 Sep 2011, 8:15 pm

i agree...my standards are likely too high...and I could likely date someone but I would not like them because they break all of my rules.

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