Interesting video about men's disadvantage in dating scene

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It's different in England.

Yes it is easier to get women in college but they are immature for the most part from where I live and I would rather be single and make sure I set myself a good life then be with them at they're immature stage, having a relationship is just an option in life, I will just have more of a chance to get a woman then men who aren't trying to set themselves a good life (which in my country most of the males I know drop out of college early and don't even attempt to get good marks) so I don't see your problem with my post, your just assuming that I will end up in those situations and although they are possibilities, I am not an idiot to end up with a woman like that.

I don't give two craps if I am autistic or not, I want to make myself slimmer and I will improve on my social skills over time, you know what the difference between me and you is? I don't let my disability become a curse in my life while from the way you have said it, you think of it as a curse which is a bad way to view something that is with you for the rest of your life.

Hehe yes ok I do spend alot of time doing that, but they need a kick up the arse now and again to bring them back to reality.



To what end? I gain nothing of value as an anonymous person telling another anonymous person how I view things.



My apologies, I always assume people on this site are from either America or western Europe, seems to be where the bulk of the autists are situated. If you live in a place where traditional gender dynamics still work, then I wish you luck . I would give you one piece of advice: don't completely ignore the women of your age group, keep an eye open. The best ones are usually ready for marriage or serious relationships as soon as they reach adulthood, although they are sometimes hard to spot. A woman with those kind of values would probably hide them from her peers, and with good reason.



That's not how I view the autism/aspergers, I've never really expressed my views on the subject, perhaps one day. For now suffice it to say I had every symptom in the book, I was officially diagnosed. These days? There's hardly a trace of autistic behaviour, some things disappeared themselves, other things I trained myself out of. Might write up my theories some day, in my own crazy way I've linked a) the prevalance of autism in boys and b) the rise in the number of cases directly to the social changes of the last 40 years.

only you know the answer to that one. people have various reasons for the things they do on this website.

*ponders motives*

So wait, she's ruined for life because she had too much consensual sex 15-20 years ago??? How does that work?

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/201 ... -risk.html

Not necessarily ruined, but the chances of subsequent divorce greatly increase the more partners a woman has beforehand. You can look at it one of two ways. One: there's some kind of biological reason, the manosphere likes to talk about lifetime pair bonding... etc. Two: Women who wait until marriage to have sex are much more marriage minded and will stick it out no matter how bad things get. I think it's a bit of both, although more reason two than one.

There's a similar trend for men, although it's a lot less drastic.

Either way, I wouldn't recommend marrying sluts or cads.

did you actually read the article?



so you're saying if a woman has more than one partner she is a slut? because the biggest risk is the jump from no previous partners (virgin until marriage) to one. the risk also goes up with premarital cohabitation, so partners had better get married before they live together as it also shows a correlation (not a cause, by the way).

the data is also 15 years old.

Yes?



I wouldn't say two partners makes a woman a slut no, I'm not sure where you'd draw the line actually, but I still wouldn't recommend marrying one, wherever it's drawn.
The article does however say that if the premarital cohabitation and sex is with the husband-to-be it has no effect on marriage stability. I don't really comprehend why the premarital cohabitation would only have an effect if the bride had had former boyfriends, even if they didn't actually have sex. I'd be foolish to ignore it though. Maybe there is something to this lifetime pair bonding thing the MRAs bang on about and maybe it goes beyond sex.



Yep, I'd guess the data would show an even more obvious trend, now that the first truly feminist generation is of marrying age.

you've missed the point - it isn't promiscuous women who are more likely to divorce - the only statistical significance that comes into play is the difference between 0 and 1 partners.

the issue is that the likelihood of marrying a virgin is very small, and virgin brides tend to be clustered in fundamentalist cultures and religions (which interestingly do not permit women to have the same level of rights or equality). your average man will not have the option of meeting or marrying such a woman, so your advice is not reasonable.

also, you advocate PUA, which is promoting the exact opposite end - you are advocating that men and women should use techniques that are designed and only suited for casual sex. so in a sense, the PUA are ruining their chances for a lasting marriage. can't have it both ways.


this conclusion is based on your own biases, and has no basis in reality.

saving marriages is not a good idea if the marriages are broken. the rising divorce rate is not a problem in and of itself, but is perhaps a reflection of the fact that fewer people are trapped in unhappy unions. more people have the means to get out. this may in fact be a positive thing. i don't believe that the preservation of dysfunctional marriages is a worthy goal.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 12 Oct 2011, 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In other words, a woman is only "fit for marriage" if she hasn't encountered any PUAs and their purportedly foolproof ways for getting women into bed. So the more succesful the PUAs are in teaching their techniques to other men, the fewer "good women" there will be left in the pool of marriageable women. This wouldn't bother the PUAs who intend to be lifetime bachelors. But when I read those posts you sometimes link, it seems like those bloggers do actually intend to get married...and to a woman who has either never before encountered the likes of them or who has been able to withstand those reputedly foolproof techniques. So the PUAs (who intend to someday get married) shouldn't be shouting frrom the treetops all their techniques to convert women from "good" to "worthless for anything but one night hookups".

I also wonder how these "I will get married someday but only to a good woman" types will actually be able to get such a woman to fall in love with them. If the only women who are good are the ones who are immune to PUA Game, what will the marriage-ready-reformed-PUA do to woo her after 15 years of marinating himself so thoroughly in Game that it's the only way he knows how to talk to women. By definition, it won't work on her.

There is quite a bit of literature that could be described as "PUA" in nature that is geared towards being able to sustain a relationship/marriage. Of the PUA stuff I have amassed and have read, much of it is very broad and isn't as chauvinistic as perhaps it comes across.

Word. The amount of denial on this forum that autistic men, no matter what they do, are screwed, is staggering.

So I should feel sorry for myself because I am autistic? I'm sorry but I know for a fact that there are people out there that are far worse off then me, at least women are attracted to me and I have had a good sexual life and at least I don't let my disability become a curse, if something is with you for a lifetime then you better view its positives because otherwise you will fall into a deep depression and I will NOT let someone like you or anyone else for that matter say that we are screwed because are not.

Oh I see, yes I got that, it's a shame the study did not publish the data on what further partners does to the stability risk. I hesitate to cite the study on which that data was superimposed, the people behind it had some serious biases, but ya gotta admit they fit rather nicely. Whether it does or not it doesn't matter to me, a drop from 75% to 50% is just not worth the risk to me. If divorce/custody laws were even remotely fair to men, I might have risked it.



And whose fault is that?



I did, and I didn't have to look very hard. In reality though men are lazy and they'll more likely settle for what they can get in their own country. But the best ones, the real keepers will just go abroad. I've seen more than a few articles complaining about the prevalence of men (especially ones with money) going abroad to look for wives and mothers.

"Where have all the good men gone?" "Duh, to find the good women."



No I advocate learning Game, the art of being attractive, if I mixed up the terminology once or twice, my bad. PUAs do alot of damage to women and I don't like it. Roissy himself wrote a bit about it http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/09/ ... ot-likely/



Yep, which is why I would reject the advances of a virgin if I wasn't serious about marrying her. (It's not impossible in my current situation).



In theory yes, but I just don't think marriages are broken at all. It's people expectations of what happiness is, how they should attain it, what a successful marriage should be like and what they should get out of it that is broken.

@Janissy I think I covered most of it in my reply to Hyperlexian, one thing, you ask how PUA types will get a good woman to fall in love with them. a) learn game - be attractive and b) tell her how serious you are about creating a family and your realistic expectations of marriage. Because women hold men to different standards, a man who has banged 1000 women does not lose points as marriage material, if anything it makes him more attractive (pre-selection) and her feel more special (after all those women he chose and married meeeee).

Thank you for clarifying what I was trying to say about PUA. It wasn't necessarily the pick up aspect rather than the art of making oneself attractive, which Game does effectively.

^^ Right. Note that this comment doesn't only address the availability of these women to most Western men. It also addresses the subjugation of the women involved.



So the "good women" are the ones who come from cultures where they aren't likely to have access to divorce without huge legal or social obstacles. Because those are the women who remain virgins until marriage but "hold men to a different standard" and dont mind if you "bang" 1,000 women. Guess what? They do mind. They also mind if their marriages suck. They just can't o won't do anything about it, because the consequences would be too severe.
The rising divorce rate reflects this: the fact that women CAN divorce, without total social and finical ruin. Men CAN divorce, without paying half of their income to alimony, and losing their children. These are strides we can all be happy about.