Why I am attracted to "Preppy" girls

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That's a very biased and stereotypical comment, you have just generalized everyone on the spectrum. You've never really met or had a relationship with someone on the spectrum yet you're generalizing them all to be difficult. It seems to me you're coming across as very narrow minded and you're going to look for validation and self approval in all of the wrong places because of your damaged past. Also there's no such thing as normal, if you want to live your life to the expectations of people who laughed at the real you and lead a life of self denial, go ahead.

I think you should date someone for connectivity and compatibility, not looks or popularity, it sounds like you're going to date for all of the wrong reasons, many people end up in the unhealthy marriage or situation because they marry or date for the wrong reasons but if you think that's right for you, by all means go for it.



Another stereotypical comment when you haven't even met a single one so I don't know where this is coming from. By all means, if you think you know what's right and best for you, go for it, it's your life and you're free to pursue whoever you want. However, there's good advice in this thread from people older and more knowledgeable than us so I certainly wouldn't overlook the advice given in this thread.

Now if you just want to get laid, then going for a hot preppy chick is perfectly okay.

Do girls throw themselves on you left and right and therefore you can be that picky?

I agree wholeheartedly with Wolfheart and with what deconstruction has said, too. I'm older than you all (44), I have a fair amount of experience, and Pengu1n, the way you're going about things is all wrong. It will come back to bite you very, very hard. I've seen it many times, with myself and with other people. My heart feels bad for you, that you think this is the right way to do things and that you're going to be successful.

I won't be dating somebody I am not terribly passionate about just because I've been peg-holed with AS...... or people think that is who I "should" date, or I'd have better odds with a certain type of person.

I haven't generalized either any more about girls with AS, than others have stereotyped "Preppy" girls all as narcissistic and materialistic drama-queens. Also, if you have read my posts, you will know I said that I HAVE met several people with AS (including myself of course.)

I will not be going down that road to have "more Aspergers" in my life. I want less of it, so I won't be seeking out an AS partner.

Good for you.

Anyways, I am certain that not all girls with AS are necessarily less narcissistic and materialistic drama-queens than the "preppy" girls.

We just went with your description of a "preppy" girl and warned you about the bad side of the people who act the way you described these girls. Nobody said all of them are like this, but it seems you don't even know about the potential problems you might encounter, and despite of what you say, I doubt you can tell a difference between a mean drama queen and a genuinely friendly but popular girl. And you don't seem to be ready to deal with any problems and baggage, and trust me, whoever you date, there will be problems and baggage, often of the EXACT same kind you wish to avoid.

Look, I think you need to be honest with yourself. If you want to bang a "hot" chick, just admit it to yourself. If you want to date a preppy girl because you want to elevate your own social status and/or to get your revenge for all the teasing and ignoring in the past, just admit it to yourself.

But if you're asking for advice here, people will tell you what they think. And I (along with others), do think you're digging a hole for yourself here and what you're doing is wrong.

I do think that somebody in your situation should make an effort to find a compatible person, and to find someone who is stable and mature. Regardless of their position in the social hierarchy.

I mean, it's pretty clear by now you want to elevate your position in the hierarchy by dating a popular girl. But it looks like not many people can (or want) to help you achieve that goal. I just hope you won't get too hurt in the process, because I believe (and my experience confirms it) that it's a wrong road to take.

In looking for a partner, I want someone who is stimulating to me and who arouses me at the gut level of attraction...... not just dating someone because they are "more practical." I don't care how good they are at household chores or how stable, mature, or accepting they may be; if I'm not physically attracted to them, then they will only be a friend but never a romantic partner for me. I can not have intercourse with women who are not at a certain level, regardless of their other qualities.

I would not be able to perform sexually anyway with a girl who isn't at a certain level. I wouldn't waste my time (or hers) with somebody who was unexciting for me. I can admit its kind of a "fetish" for me to pursue preppy girls, but I'm basically flaccid without the presence of that fetish being there (having a woman who is at the level I want.) I don't view it as being "compatible" to have an unromantic or non-sexual relationship with someone just because such an option is there and we both settled for that bond. I would be fine with just being chums with another girl, but it would have no sexual potential unless I began to get attracted to her and "evolved" to that level.

Since everyone else has done an excellent job of pointing out the potential flaws in a "preppy girl" and you have already stated that you wouldnt mind I would like to point out that the type of girl you are describing by definition is very social. This means that not only will you have to essentially sell yourself to this ideal girl and deal with her problems but you also have to deal with all her friends drama and at least pretend to like them even if they are shallow gold diggers. Of course this is not a deal breaker if you can handle complex social situations well but if your like most aspies you don't. Therefore I would advise you not to focus on seeking out this particular kind of women and just hoping you can somehow convince her you are worth it. Rather you should focus on making friends with "preppy" people and see if you can even stand them. This helps you meet your type and lets you know if you would survive with a nt preppy girlfriend. Of course I'm assuming that you don't already have tons of preppy friends if you do feel free to disregard the advice.

I just noticed someone else in a different thread say a similar thing and your response so I would just like to emphasize that for NTs romantic relationships complement rather than replacing friendships so if you truly want this type of girl you will need to make friends preferably in the same social circles.