How can you tell you're not her type....

Page 3 of 6 [ 94 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

13 Dec 2011, 12:14 am

They tell you about their boyfriend.
They never answer your messages.
They avoid you.



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,686
Location: Houston, Texas

13 Dec 2011, 3:06 am

My experiences in this:

1. You ask for advice (constitutes weakness, lack of motivation, and an inability to communicate directly with a partner)
2. You may occasionally need emotional support in tough times (also constitutes weakness)
3. You practice any religion, especially Christianity (constitutes bigotry)
4. You support any political party other than the Democratic Party or non-U.S. equivalent (also constitutes bigotry)
5. You are into any sort of non-procreational sex, or any sex outside of marriage, yet you live in the southern U.S. (because any such act is evil)



spongy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

13 Dec 2011, 4:19 am

I dont think you can tell unless you ask her.

There are people have a certain list of qualities that may not be physical, there are people that have a wide type(or no type at all) and are attracted to certain features that may oppose each other...


_________________
Please take the time to answer this quick survey to help improve the community

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255139.html


deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

13 Dec 2011, 12:03 pm

Waitwaitwaitwait...

Tim_Tex wrote:
3. You practice any religion, especially Christianity (constitutes bigotry)
4. You support any political party other than the Democratic Party or non-U.S. equivalent (also constitutes bigotry)
5. You are into any sort of non-procreational sex, or any sex outside of marriage, yet you live in the southern U.S. (because any such act is evil)


So, they are against religion or conservative political beliefs, and yet, they are against premarital sex or non-procreational sex???

Granted, I don't know the exact circumstances in the US, but aren't religious people or conservative people more likely to advocate abstinence (or "sex is only for babies" thing)?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Dec 2011, 12:09 pm

"captain, it's happening again"



mv
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

13 Dec 2011, 12:11 pm

deconstruction wrote:
Waitwaitwaitwait...

Tim_Tex wrote:
3. You practice any religion, especially Christianity (constitutes bigotry)
4. You support any political party other than the Democratic Party or non-U.S. equivalent (also constitutes bigotry)
5. You are into any sort of non-procreational sex, or any sex outside of marriage, yet you live in the southern U.S. (because any such act is evil)


So, they are against religion or conservative political beliefs, and yet, they are against premarital sex or non-procreational sex???

Granted, I don't know the exact circumstances in the US, but aren't religious people or conservative people more likely to advocate abstinence (or "sex is only for babies" thing)?


deconstruction, I think this is all one person from Tim_Tex's history. According to his descriptions of their interactions, I'd call her a very confused person, to say the least.



deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

13 Dec 2011, 12:14 pm

mv wrote:
deconstruction, I think this is all one person from Tim_Tex's history. According to his descriptions of their interactions, I'd call her a very confused person, to say the least.


It sure seems confusing. Or like a person you don't want to be around. I mean, if you're not that kind of a person's type, it's good for you.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Dec 2011, 12:18 pm

Tim is asking for a bitter sugar.



cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

13 Dec 2011, 9:38 pm

As female.. I have actually placed in personal ads "I found that what I am looking for is seldom what I am attracted to". Also I am notorious for being attracted to totally the opposite of what my past relationships have been. Because I am so damned logical, subconsciously, I change the direction of my thinking when finding a new boyfriend. Especially if the last one ended badly. Sometimes if I liked the relationship and it ends, I might try a similar type again. Until I know it really doesn't work. You should play on your strengths. Find an opportunity to show her how great you are at math or computers. Even if she doesn't have these abilities, she will admire you for yours.


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,686
Location: Houston, Texas

13 Dec 2011, 9:53 pm

I am just upset because of my experiences, most notably the one where I was called weak and unmotivated because I asked for advice--because she had all the same interests and beliefs, a combination that doesn't exist with anybody else. I even gave up my dream of starting a family for her (she didn't want kids).



cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

13 Dec 2011, 9:55 pm

were you in a relationship with her?


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,686
Location: Houston, Texas

13 Dec 2011, 10:06 pm

cinbad wrote:
were you in a relationship with her?


Not officially, but there was a question I totally froze up on before taking things to the next level, so I asked for advice on an online forum how to talk about it with her, but she saw it, and came to the conclusion that I couldn't communicate--based on that one instance.

Many Christians find my interests offensive, and she was the only one who actually liked the same things. The other people with my interests are hippies or hipsters, and while I would consider dating one, they almost always think all Christians and Republicans are intolerant pricks.



Lostandjealous
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

16 Dec 2011, 7:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
When a girl show admiration to guys who are the complete opposite of you (whether physically, character or socially) , shouldn't be that be a super obvious sign that you're not her type and therefore it's even useless to try with her?

If not, then how can you tell?


I am currently struggling with this notion, except I am already in the relationship. Now comes the trepidation of not just a simple turn down, but a break-up because of differences that were not initially addressed. It fills me up with fear to think that my girlfriend has different expectations than me, and it is hard to ask about these things.

Nonetheless, I don't think a girl showing signs of affection to guys who are opposite of you necessarily disqualifies you. I think that--and this is from experience-- a certain degree of asertion should be used when you determine whether you are compatible to someone. Don't shine a light in their face and interview them, but don't be afraid to ask questions and share opinions. It is not just about physical attraction. I think us with AS are apt to get hurt if we aren't careful about how we enter relationships.

Thanks.

LAJ



fraac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,865

16 Dec 2011, 7:51 pm

Girls don't have types. They just need to feel safe in as large a world as possible.



mv
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

16 Dec 2011, 8:02 pm

fraac wrote:
Girls don't have types. They just need to feel safe in as large a world as possible.


I have no idea what this means. Does not compute.



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,686
Location: Houston, Texas

16 Dec 2011, 8:07 pm

I am not sure either.

As for my situation, I know that we Aspies do tend to generalize about all certain types of people and things, but it feels different when we are rejected because of the generalizations of others.