Living together before marriage?

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Yes. At least a legal marriage over-rides the aspect of paying for sexual gratification, even though marriage is the single most common factor in all divorces.


In principle ... until one of them makes a unilateral decision that affects them both, like taking on a new job in another state (or a new lover in another relationship). At least it does not end in divorce.

Obviously, you don't understand marriage.

shrox, can you please elaborate on that?

Of course, marriage is an outdated concept and that fact is becoming more evident by the divorce rate. Divorce used to be condemned in the past so many people ended up being stuck in marriages with people that were alcoholics, drug addicts or runaways that left their family in poverty, there have been painful marriages that have been endured longer than they should have because of social pressure forced on people by the church.

What about the rights of those who don't profit by the financial, social and legal privileges of marriage? In fact marriage was against people with different sexual preferences and women for many years, the concept of it is dated. It was just another way for the religious institution to rule and oppress others.

Still, you obviously, you don't understand marriage.

What about those of us who want to get married? Does that make me outdated? People should have the choice of whether they can get married or not. :/

Maybe you can elaborate on that to help him understand. :/

Sure. For me, marriage came with a sense of accomplishment, of being "grown up". Marriage is a statement to the outside world as well: "we have chosen to be together, and are so committed to this and are so proud of it that we would like to formally secure it."

If you look at it as something bad, then reconsider what you are looking for.

Oh, thanks. That seems like a very specific, personal view of marriage (to me). And it doesn't really speak to the legal aspect of it (which is fine). Unless that's what you mean by "formally secure it".

Yes, "formally secure it" would mean register with community that we are now a committed couple. Don't try to split us up.

We went to Las Vegas to get married, so no big expensive wedding, no starting out $25,000 in debt for one day!

Have you considered why even governments encouraged marriage by offering different tax rates and other benefits? Have you considered that ideas and traditions that are many millenia old might have been retained because they do have great value?

I've been monogamously committed to a single person for 14 years and we are not married.

Neither of us follow any religion and both of us are free to walk away from the relationship anytime we choose.

The love and commitment is certainly there, just not the religious & legal element of marriage. Far from feeling insecure about things I feel more secure, so many people claim their relationship with their spouse deteriorated after marriage it isn't something I recognise. If I mistreat my girlfriend or do not work at making our relationship successful we will not have a relationship, we both accept that.

Apart from the need to conform, why exactly would we get married? How does this make our love stronger?

There is no "religious" element in a Vegas wedding at the courthouse...

Then don't get married. If you don't like chocolate, don't eat it.

i guess that us godless heathens can handle the heat.

To bring this back to the OP, personally, what I'm most worried about in your situation is the fact that you're talking about this at 7 months. Usually, that's a period of time that is still in the honeymoon phase - the brain chemicals tend to change at about 1 year (when it particular varies person to person though.) Making a commitment like this puts it into you being used to living with them before you know whether the relationship will last once those feels have warn off.

By which I mean, just be careful.

(I live with my boyfriend (now in a one bedroom apartment without others in the apartment), and we first lived together (formally, with other people) after a year and a few months. We were uncomfortable about doing so at that point, but my parents wanted me to, because they didn't want to pay increased rent for us to find separate apartments. Both of us would default to about 2 years together is an appropriate amount of time before moving in together for people in their early 20s.)

not sure what you're saying here.

Thatz cuz you hot.