Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;).

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I'm tempted to say that but in reverse to all the women on dating sites who claim they are only looking for 'new friends' ie attention seekers just looking to have their ego's stroked.

If someone doesn't respond to me the first time then I don't message them again, there's no point as they clearly aren't who they say they are if they don't reply especially if it states in their profile that they will reply to all messages where an effort has been made.

A lot of this can depend on the messages being sent out as well. I can understand women ignoring douchbag messages such as 'hi bbz wanna f*k' that they claim to receive on a regular basis (probably a slight exaggeration there) but if you've really taken the time to write to someone, and checked that you've ticked all of the boxes in the stated criteria that they claim to be looking for then the least they could is acknowledge the effort you have made otherwise that is rude and face of boo is spot on the money here.



Ah the classic pass-the-buck narcissistic attitude of female hypocrisy strikes again. Preach all you want about claiming its ok to be ignorant but you'd probably be the first to complain if it was the other way around.

Last edited by Daemonic-Jackal on 29 Mar 2012, 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

copied/pasted from her profile:

I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 35–50
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating

And if you really are looking for new friends then ignoring anyone who says hello isn't a great starting point.

99% of the guys who message me merely found me on the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel ('cause I can usually see the distinct lack of compatibility just from one single glance at their profile). Tell me why I should be flattered to hear from them.

It's got nothing to do with being flattered, it's common courtesy.

You know why people like Dan say things like what he did? Because people like you say things like what you did. While the blame lies with the men that play the percentages and spam every single woman in their city, the women that either ignore men, or belittle them in some way, are the ones responsible for the way people like Dan react. When people are repeatedly treated like s**t, they will eventually give up being polite and respectful and just treat other people like s**t in return. It's a self-perpetuating cycle.

While some of the men (and I like to think it is only a small percentage of them) are the cause of the problems, the women, that are directly responsible for making things worse, are the cure. Stop treating the men like s**t, they will stop treating you like s**t. Simple. Why should anyone treat you with anything other than the contempt you have treated them?

Treat others the way you would have them treat you.
Show some respect.
Show some courtesy.
Show some decency.

A simple "Thanks, but no thanks", after reading their message and their profile is enough for most people. Ignoring them just makes things worse for the next girl. And when she takes your lead and ignores him too, he turns into someone like Dan.

Best post ever^

Yeah but when you are looking for something genuine and all you get are blank profiles that say, "Hey baby, wanna cyber?" and "Can I C ur tits!??!" you kinda start giving up on men on OkCupid too. Luckily I met my bf via a friend so I don't deal with that anymore.

It was a good post wasn't it. Now if only his piety made me feel bad about it.

If guys are gonna resort to guilt tripping and pressure to get a reply from a girl then good luck. I suppose you're gonna blame girls like me for making them resort to doing it. Making girls feel bad for not responding does not create a good impression of you either. There's no excuse to inflict your rejection fueled anger on anyone.

It took three whole pages to degenerate into outright misogyny and self-entitlement.

Good job, L & D- we're improving!

True. Let's see if we can make it to 5 next time, mmkay?

Girls are getting mad en masse - and guys are confronting them.

Gender war!

I like it when this happens, so amusing.

I didn't lose my magical touch in threads after all.

Where? Besides Dan's use of the c-word in his last post, I haven't seen much of that anywhere in this thread. Maybe I missed something.

Last edited by Jono on 29 Mar 2012, 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

WTF are you on about? That some guys are genuinely frustrated at being ignored instead of just being told no thanks? How hard is it to say sorry but no to someone that actually tried to write something decent? Like someone else said I can understand if its a douchy message or if youve not been online in for ever but theres no real reason to just say blargh over someone trying. Atleast be woman enough to say thanks but no thanks.

Also not everything said against women is misogyny, and treating it as such ensures that more men will start to actually hate women instead of just failing to understand them. You and the same 4 women go around this entire forum doing the same thing always. Nothing here has been meant to show hate for women. But its perfectly OK to make guys feel like s**t so long as they cant return the favor, no?

Please reread the whole thing, if you dare. It's entitled horsesh** from the get-go. People should be respectful toward each other, but the premise in the OP is just laughable (and bullying, by the way). I would have blocked him so quickly his head would have spun. There are too many overly-intense, poorly-mannered people on online dating sites (same as in life, sadly, but without the "out in public" veneer). I had a host of issues with them when I was online dating. And I was always, always polite, sending a "no, thank you" personally, not even the canned responses that the site has at the ready. But RARELY would a man let it go after that. Some were downright nasty, others would just take that time to write back and vent all their frustrations with the dating process, even though I did not deserve that. Yup, <Blocked>. Life's too f*****g short.

So asking for some common courtesy is self entitled horses**t. Got it. Im rather glad to hear though that you are one of the few that does reply back with a no. I fail to see what the big deal is, say no and block the guy. no big deal. Nothing to go crazy about. It just makes you look like a decent person and gives the other person the frame to move to the next one. Its not like were asking you to buy us dinner or anything, simply some common courtesy which women come to expect in men.

I'd rather get no reply than "thanks but no thanks." I don't need to be explicitly rejected.
So I'm treating others just as I want to be treated when I don't reply to messages from someone I'm not interested.

Besides, I've written messages to guys and gotten no replies, so it's not just women.