Are more women than not willing to date Gastons

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Kurgan
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27 Apr 2012, 4:34 pm

Boxman108 wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

philippepetit wrote:

pathologically high levels of well-being, disregard for the needs of others, arrogance, etc. are all related to high testosterone levels which are attractive

You'd be suprised to see how well-mannered and friendly many bodybuilders are. Furthermore, a lot of what you're describing can be ascribed to feminine pretty boys as well.

I highly doubt that.

Your average upper-class prep who works as a drink mixer and is as good as daddy's wallet can't bench press his Smirnoff Ice bottle. Have you actually met a pro bodybuilder in real life?

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27 Apr 2012, 9:40 pm

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but I'm genuinely trying to help.

The "Gastons" of the world aren't why you're single, and being nice is not why you're single, it's something else - try and figure out what it is and stop wasting your time blaming others...

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28 Apr 2012, 4:09 am

Boxman108 wrote:

Wolfheart wrote:

Boxman108 wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

Awesome comment techn0teen and Declension .
Nobody owes anyone else sex or affection, ever for any reason. Even if they are super "nice".
In my experience self proclaimed "nice guys" aren't actually nice, they're trying to make a woman feel indebted to him, trying to make her feel obligated to put out.
Women aren't shallow for not liking you. Women aren't b*****s for not liking you. Women aren't cowardly for not liking you.

Women are pretty darn brave overall to step-out everyday into a world full of people who don't realize we're people too.

Use of the word friendzone is an immediate indicator that you're talking to a creep. Friendship is beautiful and awesome, if you can't stand someone who won't touch your penis maybe you just shouldn't have friends.

Also Beauty in the Beast (the Disney version) presents a lovely story of stockholm syndrome.
The classic fairy tale, a story to encourage young brides to look very, very, hard to see something good in the likely much older man (beast) they were married off to (traded like chattle to).
Fairy Tales are dark, not particularly aspirational.

You don't sound so nice yourself. Making blanket statements about people you don't actually know. Never mind derailing plenty of threads here with your nonsense. Get over yourself. :roll:

Boxman108, it's not good to make assumptions about people you don't really know. I thought her particular comment was actually accurate, nobody should have to feel indebted to have sex with someone they don't want sex with, that's called non-consensual sex, also known as rape. If someone thinks they are entitled to sex with someone that doesn't want them, they are more likely to be passive aggressive or guilt trip the women into having sex which is actually the opposite of being good. The same applies for us, we don't have to feel obliged to like a girl, attraction is a mutual thing.

Nice guys trying to manipulate a woman with their niceness are no different than so-called bad guys, at least the bad guy is being honest about his intentions.

You've got these misconceptions about "nice guys" that hardly make any sense. If they were as manipulative as you say, they would not be referred to that way. How can you tell whether anyone deliberately guilt women into having sex? Generalizations like these are simply not true.

They refer to themselves that way.

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smudge
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28 Apr 2012, 3:50 pm

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28 Apr 2012, 3:54 pm

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28 Apr 2012, 3:59 pm

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JanuaryMan
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28 Apr 2012, 7:56 pm

Wolfheart, Declension, Grisha I share your sentiments on the matter

I'm no gaston, but I think anyone who can not only catch with his mouth but guzzle 4 egg yokes in a row and eat them whole deserves a date with a woman (he might have to brush his teeth though if he doesn't want to scare them off :lol: )

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28 Apr 2012, 7:59 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:

I'm no gaston, but I think anyone who can not only catch with his mouth but guzzle 4 egg yokes in a row and eat them whole deserves a date with a woman

I concur. It is therefore a great shame that Gaston is obviously gay.

DW_a_mom
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28 Apr 2012, 8:03 pm

Ldub20Owl316 wrote:

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast that is. Basically men who mock the intelligence of others and are inconsiderate, self-centered, condescending, conceited, hypocritical, and egotistical! And are there few women who are as courageous as Belle in rejecting Gaston and his kind? If so, it'd make me hate life even more! It also shows that nice guys do finish last.

I don't know anyone who would like a Gaston. The difference in real life is that most people are more nuanced, and don't present quite as full of all the negative attributes Disney gave to Gaston, so some women might fall for a good looking self centered guy who for whatever reason seems nice and smart and funny to them.

It is a good thing women aren't all attracted to the same things or no one would ever marry, we'd be too busy fighting over a limited pool.

My husband is pretty much the opposite of Gaston.

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DW_a_mom
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28 Apr 2012, 8:12 pm

UnLoser wrote:

The message I'm getting from many posters in this thread is that nice guys don't actually exist, and any "nice guy" is actually trying to manipulate women for sex and is the scum of the Earth. Where are you guys getting these ideas from? There are tons of genuinely nice guys out there.

And I do think that a nice guy would have the right to complain if women rejected them solely for being a nice person.

There are nice guys, I married one. We hang out with many fathers of kid's from our kid's school who are super nice.

Here is the thing: saying you are nice does not make you nice; I've met quite a few men in my life with no idea how not nice they tend to actually be. And even when someone is nice, relationships are about a whole lot more than that.

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Adam82
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28 Apr 2012, 8:31 pm

I don't think nice guys are all using women to get inside their pants. There are genuinely nice people out there. If a guy is constantly being rejected, he has every right to complain about it, just as a woman does.

It might not be because he is a nice guy that he is being rejected. I think I keep getting rejected because I give off socially awkward, unconfident, Aspie vibes.

DogsWithoutHorses
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28 Apr 2012, 8:45 pm

Adam82 wrote:

There is a difference between nice guys and "nice guys" when people are talking about wanna-be manipulators they're referring to the latter.

I don't think anyone has the right to complain when they're rejected because as no one is obligated to accept you there is no grievance when they don't. If someone is constantly rejected they might do well to look for the common denominator (hint. it's them) and look for solutions.
Being frustrated is understandable.
Being upset at someone for not liking you isn't.

Some people who are genuinely nice do get rejected sometimes, most people probably get rejected sometimes. That's just the way it is. Can it be harder being Autistic sometimes? Yes, some things are more difficult, but nobody owes us love so it's our job to figure out how to navigate those social waters.

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CrinklyCrustacean
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29 Apr 2012, 3:01 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

There is a difference between nice guys and "nice guys" when people are talking about wanna-be manipulators they're referring to the latter.

Then can we use a different term? To me, "nice guy" means someone who is genuinely nice. I don't see why you would call somebody nice if they're not. Maybe part of the problem is that there is confusion as to what the term means. The way I understand it, and the way I see others on this board understanding it, is that the phrase "Nice guys finish last" means "People who are actually nice, caring, well-balanced, etc. finish last" and not, "guys who are manipulative jerks finish last."

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29 Apr 2012, 3:48 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

There is a difference between nice guys and "nice guys" when people are talking about wanna-be manipulators they're referring to the latter.

i think it's the quote marks that are supposed to denote the difference between nice guys and "nice guys". honestly i think both labels are erroneous because nobody can live up to a label slapped on like that. we're all just humans, complete with a capacity to do good things and bad things.

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CrinklyCrustacean
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29 Apr 2012, 4:36 am

hyperlexian wrote:

i think it's the quote marks that are supposed to denote the difference between nice guys and "nice guys".

Agreed, but most people don't use quote marks when they mean "nice guys".

Quote:

honestly i think both labels are erroneous because nobody can live up to a label slapped on like that.

How so? Some people are definitely nicer than others, although I agree that everyone can do bad things.

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29 Apr 2012, 4:45 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

i think it's the quote marks that are supposed to denote the difference between nice guys and "nice guys".

Agreed, but most people don't use quote marks when they mean "nice guys".

Quote:

honestly i think both labels are erroneous because nobody can live up to a label slapped on like that.

How so? Some people are definitely nicer than others, although I agree that everyone can do bad things.

i think people are just sorta.... people. nobody is really all good or all bad, we're a mixture. so labelling someone as a nice guy is setting them up for a persona they won't be able to live up to.

it seems to me that there isn't a scale of niceness where you can put the nice guys on one side and the jerks on the other.... individuals are all over the place in terms of niceness depending on the present company, the situation, etc.

i agree that overall some people are nicer in lots of situations, but there isn't a sharp dividing line. and the niceness doesn't equal compatibility for romance. i think being a good and decent person whenever possible is a good aim, but it often doesn't translate into romantic connections (neither does assholery for that matter).

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