Guys, we all lost according to ladder theory!

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Look. I am attractive and rich. I am not going to say how much money I have, but it is plenty. Still women don't go for it. It more of competitive environment and other aspects of what ladder theory explain about. It about the inner beauty of a female. If she is ugly from outside but awesome inner beauty, she is more likely not to be involved with ladder theory. Overweight females are more desperate than lonely guys because their body image is poor.

This may explains why a guy who got a promotion or improved his body from skinny to fit get sudden wave of female attention. Same of why a girl who was overweight and lost enough weight gets a sudden boost of male attention.

Maybe it's not in the same way described in the 'theory' but certainly there's some hidden "ladder" out there in the attraction world.

LOL. Well....just go to any council estate in the UK. Casual sex and relationships are rife and constantly changing partners between circles. It's not something I like but it's abundant and definitely exists regardless of any ladder theory. In fact I'd definitely say their standards are almost non existent.

And all I do is just stay reasonably healthy, have a good demeanour and some wit about me. I know a lot about various topics so conversation isn't too hard, either. Of course, some other "experience" helps too.. I have to use my wit to make up for my physique but that works just fine. I'd say the girls I pair up with are average to 7. And as far as the scale goes I put myself in the same bracket, a 5-7.

Anyways, in short, had this ladder theory been devised by someone more experienced on the field, there would be no ladder theory. It is simply one's elaborate coping mechanism to deal with failure, and their creepy attempts to get dates by being friends. At least, that's how I see it.

When I was a teenager, I was once this ladder theory guy. As time moved on, and I moved on with it, I got more experience and developed more in social environments. My views changed, my understanding changed, my awareness increased. These things would have never increased had I stayed in the same hole, waiting for people to pity or agree with me, and tried denying my problems instead of dealing with them. But that is what many people that buy into this theory ARE doing - not moving forward with their lives. Not allowing themselves to make mistakes to learn from. Not allowing rejection to better prepare them for rejection in the future. Not opening their minds. Not allowing their ego to be broken as well as fixed (how can you fix something not broken?) and so on.

The thing about ladder theory/Tom Leykis etc. etc. is that there IS a kernel of truth in there although they greatly exaggerate/generalize in order to drive home their points. You just have to take it with a grain of salt.

They're just pointing out things that are obvious to neurotypical guys with good social skills. These are just things that guys who are successful with women naturally do without putting in much conscious effort.

Looking back on high school for example, it all falls into place. my best friend was a nice, hard working guy who always volunteered his time to help people and constantly got cat calls/whistles from giggling girls who thought he was "cute." Yet he has never had a girlfriend. Yet this other guy who was the class clown, with a big booming voice and was a bit of an a**hole with his cutting sarcastic jokes, got married right after leaving high school. Why? Because despite his jerkish-ness, he was still a very confident guy who made people around him laugh and this increased his perceived social value. The moral of the story is NOT that women like jerks, but that for reasons that might be evolutionary/psychological, confident guys with an edge are more likely to exhibit the traits that attract women on that raw level. It created the difference between seeing my quiet, sweet best friend who always volunteered his time to help out people as a "cuddly cute" friend, and the loud, confident class clown with the cutting wit as a potential boyfriend.

I'm not sure if this got out of the depth, I am considering that I have lost the game because I observed the situations I been experience is proving the ladder theory is right.

i'm a Myers-Briggs INTJ type (no surprise), & whenever i find big generalizations about how "humans" behave, it's often because these generalizations apply most specifically to ESFP-type (the most abundant), & less so to others in proportion to their difference. unfortunately for the rest of us, such "norms" control others indirectly because they get codified into an ideology.

fortunately, opposition to this & other ideologies has been growing, & intensifying, for 4 or 5 generations now--especially, though not only, in the West.

the very fact that the supremacy of physical attractiveness, as defined by marketers, is so ubiquitous a message, for example, merely testifies to its weakening power over the minds in our society. if they were all fully convinced of this, it would not be worth the expense to try to persuade them so incessantly.

it is easy to become discouraged when you are young & surrounded more by messages than acquaintances. i think it is helpful to disengage from the media-world awhile, & study some concrete activity that involves meeting others.

funny, considering most people that have told me about such theories are men who have no problems with women. But good way to reject an idea.