Confidence

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PastFixations
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21 Jun 2012, 2:27 pm

rabbittss wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

What you believe to be true isn't the same as what is actually true.

Beliefs /= facts.

Pfft... Still, I'm happier with beliefs than what you are with facts.

I suggest you seek help before that becomes a psychosis.

So your saying that the only way you should live life is through misery and pain forever?

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Monkeybuttorama
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21 Jun 2012, 2:30 pm

If all a person wants is sex, by all means, confidence is all they need.. If a person wants *anything* else, they need patience, understanding, someone on equal intellectual footing, personal security and self-respect. Missing even one of those, one will have a hard time.

Say one goes to a bar, one full of average, boring normal people, and sits quietly sipping on a drink of whatever sort, and is sitting next to a person of the target gender, who is also quietly sitting and drinking. A confidant person (with really nothing to be confident about -most confident bar-goers that I've met are only like that because they have to hit up every woman to find someone to go home with) approaches and fails MISERABLY, which leaves an opening for either quiet party to make a comment, starting a conversation.

Also, in the workplace or dating friends, you can get to know someone over a year or more (such as my current BF; we started dating about a year after we stopped working together) and confidence in either party is more or less unnecessary.

rabbittss
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21 Jun 2012, 2:33 pm

PastFixations wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

What you believe to be true isn't the same as what is actually true.

Beliefs /= facts.

Pfft... Still, I'm happier with beliefs than what you are with facts.

I suggest you seek help before that becomes a psychosis.

So your saying that the only way you should live life is through misery and pain forever?

No, I simply believe some people are born to be happy, and the rest of us are born to be miserable, and that deluding ourselves into thinking otherwise is not constructive.

PastFixations
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21 Jun 2012, 2:38 pm

Monkeybuttorama, you do have trust though which is in itself a level of confidence in someone.

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MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 2:44 pm

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

No... It's about confidence and preference rather than physical dominance.

dominance shows confidence though

Dominance shows that you can give orders and make all the decisions and belittle others.

Which shows that you have confidence and leadership skills.

PastFixations
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21 Jun 2012, 2:53 pm

rabbittss wrote:

No, I simply believe some people are born to be happy, and the rest of us are born to be miserable, and that deluding ourselves into thinking otherwise is not constructive.

Someone told me that what you believe to be true isn't the same as what is actually true. =P

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Sora: "My friends are my power."

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Last edited by PastFixations on 21 Jun 2012, 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PastFixations
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21 Jun 2012, 2:55 pm

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

No... It's about confidence and preference rather than physical dominance.

dominance shows confidence though

Dominance shows that you can give orders and make all the decisions and belittle others.

Which shows that you have confidence and leadership skills.

Not in the case of control freaks.

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Sora: "My friends are my power."

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MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 2:58 pm

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

No... It's about confidence and preference rather than physical dominance.

dominance shows confidence though

Dominance shows that you can give orders and make all the decisions and belittle others.

Which shows that you have confidence and leadership skills.

Not in the case of control freaks.

one small group. In general dominance is seen as a way of showing confidence. End of story.

deltafunction
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21 Jun 2012, 3:01 pm

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

No... It's about confidence and preference rather than physical dominance.

dominance shows confidence though

Dominance shows that you can give orders and make all the decisions and belittle others.

Which shows that you have confidence and leadership skills.

Not in the case of control freaks.

Oh let me tell you stories about these physically "dominent" men...

Oh man they can have the worst temper, and be the crankiest biatches who need special treatment in order to be happy. Then they also get fickle and get upset at the smallest stuff. Instead of dealing with problems, they will whine and blame it on someone else. Then they need pampering to get back into their original mood.

Also, I am a tiny woman, but some will use their physical dominance and not take me seriously, even though I am doing my job. Like seriously, he's not man enough to deal with a woman?

I laugh at the idea that a physically big, muscular man naturally has confidence and leadership skills.

Also I find it cowardly when some of these men will act aggressive and puff up like peacocks when they are agitated, as if they are going in a fight, when it's just me, who obviously will get crushed. It actually is to the point where they will scare me sometimes. Definitely not attractive.

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Last edited by deltafunction on 21 Jun 2012, 3:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 3:03 pm

deltafunction wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

No... It's about confidence and preference rather than physical dominance.

dominance shows confidence though

Dominance shows that you can give orders and make all the decisions and belittle others.

Which shows that you have confidence and leadership skills.

Not in the case of control freaks.

I never said they do, but they look like they do.

ObamaGoesPostal
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21 Jun 2012, 3:04 pm

It's all about genes, if you have good genes for it (good charisma & confidence genes) then you're set. I don't have those genes.

rabbittss
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21 Jun 2012, 3:06 pm

PastFixations wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

No, I simply believe some people are born to be happy, and the rest of us are born to be miserable, and that deluding ourselves into thinking otherwise is not constructive.

Someone told me that what you believe to be true isn't the same as what is actually true. =P

And it absolutely holds true. I believe this to be the case, but it doesn't mean it is. It definitely is from my experience however.

Monkeybuttorama
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21 Jun 2012, 3:10 pm

PastFixations wrote:

Monkeybuttorama, you do have trust though which is in itself a level of confidence in someone.

Trust is an accumulation of things, though, such as understanding, compassion and even an intellectual equality, it is not, in and of itself, confidence, though yes, it plays a role. (I should have included trust, you are correct)

Arguably, though, confidence could be rolled into just about anything else, but by itself is not necessary, which is what I meant. I apologize I was not clear

MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 3:12 pm

ObamaGoesPostal wrote:

It's all about genes, if you have good genes for it (good charisma & confidence genes) then you're set. I don't have those genes.

genes are overplayed. Its all about development.

PastFixations
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21 Jun 2012, 3:14 pm

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

Not in the case of control freaks.

one small group. In general dominance is seen as a way of showing confidence. End of story.

Yeah... a small group which is still thousands of people.
I do see how it shows confidence so I'm not disagreeing... it's just that it can also be used in the sense of one saying jump and the other saying how high?

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deltafunction
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21 Jun 2012, 3:14 pm

MXH wrote:

deltafunction wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

MXH wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

No... It's about confidence and preference rather than physical dominance.

dominance shows confidence though

Dominance shows that you can give orders and make all the decisions and belittle others.

Which shows that you have confidence and leadership skills.

Not in the case of control freaks.

I never said they do, but they look like they do.

Some look like they will beat up anyone who will disagree with them. They always look unhappy, grumpy, won't smile or say hello, walk quickly past you, and will disregard anyone else.

Others though do look like they are confident. They have good posture, have a confident walk, will greet people, smile, won't get in people's personal space, and are polite to others. And generally, when I talk to them, I end up guessing right.

_________________
Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

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