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Cad
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28 Jun 2012, 10:06 pm

rabbittss wrote:
f**k it. I don't want advice, I don't want sympathy, I don't want a bunch of people telling me that I'm the one to blame. that if I'd just change everything about myself that things would get better. I've heard it all before, and I'm not interested. I'm sick and tired of always being on the losing end.


Unfortunately for you, you will get advice sympathy and people blaming you because you posted it on here. If you didn't want those things maybe you should've kept it to yourself (not an insult...I do this all the time).

rabbittss wrote:
If it's just because there is no "Spark" then f***ing tell me before I spend my limited resources on a goddamn date you f***ing c**t. Don't wait till two days later when you've found something better and then tell me. Don't say 'well, we can still be friends'.. we met on a goddamn internet dating site. .


I am a woman and you post doesn't offend me, but it's sad that all the women you've met have treated you like crap. We're not all like that and there are men, women and probably transvestites who use people, the truth is, some people are just stupid. But...why can't you let people get to know you a bit before committing to you? Do you want them to latch on straight away after just meeting (on a dating site?) I sure as hell don't meet someone and instantly feel a ''spark'' and want to be with them forever. I'm not saying people that keep you on the hook just to have you around when they're not interested aren't stupid because they ARE, but there are some people who need a bit of time before they commit themselves. I am like this, and I know some guys who are. I have also been kept on the hook before (once for 3 years) before I decided to cut him from my life so I know there are people out there too. Why do you have limited resources to spend on a date? Aren't dates there so you can get to know someone? No sympathy blame or advice from me, I'm just telling it how it is.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:12 pm

Cad wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
f**k it. I don't want advice, I don't want sympathy, I don't want a bunch of people telling me that I'm the one to blame. that if I'd just change everything about myself that things would get better. I've heard it all before, and I'm not interested. I'm sick and tired of always being on the losing end.


Unfortunately for you, you will get advice sympathy and people blaming you because you posted it on here. If you didn't want those things maybe you should've kept it to yourself (not an insult...I do this all the time).

rabbittss wrote:
If it's just because there is no "Spark" then f***ing tell me before I spend my limited resources on a goddamn date you f***ing c**t. Don't wait till two days later when you've found something better and then tell me. Don't say 'well, we can still be friends'.. we met on a goddamn internet dating site. .


I am a woman and you post doesn't offend me, but it's sad that all the women you've met have treated you like crap. We're not all like that and there are men, women and probably transvestites who use people, the truth is, some people are just stupid. But...why can't you let people get to know you a bit before committing to you? Do you want them to latch on straight away after just meeting (on a dating site?) I sure as hell don't meet someone and instantly feel a ''spark'' and want to be with them forever. I'm not saying people that keep you on the hook just to have you around when they're not interested aren't stupid because they ARE, but there are some people who need a bit of time before they commit themselves. I am like this, and I know some guys who are. I have also been kept on the hook before (once for 3 years) before I decided to cut him from my life so I know there are people out there too. Why do you have limited resources to spend on a date? Aren't dates there so you can get to know someone? No sympathy blame or advice from me, I'm just telling it how it is.


No, you're right.. on both counts.. But I've spent months talking online getting to know her.. she'd seen my photos.. she knew what I looked like.. and then suddenly after we've met she's not interested anymore. It's simply that, yet again, I'd met a girl who I considered wonderful.. and the world saw fit for it not to work.. again. It just gets disheartening.



McAnulty
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28 Jun 2012, 10:18 pm

What I was trying to say is you can not look for a girl because you want to get something out of it. If you're not willing to get out of your shell on your own you're not going to find a girl who can, or even wants to do it for you. Finding someone to be with is supposed to be about finding someone you think is the most amazing person, someone you want to make happy. It's hard to find people when you get into dating because you want a girl to provide you with something you feel you need. It's kind of like being more interested in the function she can serve for you rather than in her as an actual person. I know that you've been used, and that sucks, and it makes you skeptical, but you also come across as if you're looking for a girl you can use to help you do things you feel you're unable to do on your own.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:27 pm

Make money. Plow escorts to break the reward cycle that makes men even bother with dating. Play videogames. Go your own way. It works.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:27 pm

Venger wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

You have no idea what it's like to live in a rural sh** hole where you find 90% of all the women unattractive


It's like that everywhere. 9 out of 10 women are average or below average looking. I went to Hawaii about six months ago for over a week, and I didn't see even one woman I thought looked really good.


I blame modern media there... anyone remember when MASH's Maj. Margaret Hoolihan was the ultimate "hot babe"? By today's standards she's barely a "7" at best!
This almost belongs in the "desensitized by porn" thread... real people just don't look like TV/movies/magazines... well, very few do. And the ones that do are in such hot demand, she's not likely to go for us oddball Aspie guys. ;)



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28 Jun 2012, 10:27 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
Make money. Plow escorts to break the reward cycle that makes men even bother with dating. Play videogames. Go your own way. It works.


For YOU.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:29 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
Make money. Plow escorts to break the reward cycle that makes men even bother with dating. Play videogames. Go your own way. It works.


Money means s**t to me, escorts are illegal and are also people and you don't "Plow" them.. you "Plow" fields. I hate video games. I've been trying to go my own way and it most certainly doesn't work. The only thing that works is going exactly the same way everyone else is going and hoping to nibble at a few scraps that your betters don't notice are missing.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:35 pm

rabbittss wrote:
Money means sh** to me, escorts are illegal and are also people and you don't "Plow" them.. you "Plow" fields. I hate video games. I've been trying to go my own way and it most certainly doesn't work. The only thing that works is going exactly the same way everyone else is going and hoping to nibble at a few scraps that your betters don't notice are missing.

Image "I HATE everything!"



Last edited by BlueMax on 28 Jun 2012, 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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28 Jun 2012, 10:35 pm

rabbittss wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
Make money. Plow escorts to break the reward cycle that makes men even bother with dating. Play videogames. Go your own way. It works.


Money means sh** to me, escorts are illegal and are also people and you don't "Plow" them.. you "Plow" fields. I hate video games. I've been trying to go my own way and it most certainly doesn't work. The only thing that works is going exactly the same way everyone else is going and hoping to nibble at a few scraps that your betters don't notice are missing.


Keep on wallowing then.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:36 pm

BlueMax wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
Money means sh** to me, escorts are illegal and are also people and you don't "Plow" them.. you "Plow" fields. I hate video games. I've been trying to go my own way and it most certainly doesn't work. The only thing that works is going exactly the same way everyone else is going and hoping to nibble at a few scraps that your betters don't notice are missing.

Image "I HATE everything!"



LOL! :D Good one.



Cad
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28 Jun 2012, 10:37 pm

Rabbittss, dating's a hard game. I fell in love with someone and they moved to America and I found out later that they had a fiancee there. I fell in love with another guy who would lead me on then when I went to catch him he'd run away, then lead me on again when I came back around (happened for 3 years). Two of the nicest, most caring compassionate guys I've met fell in love with me on separate occasions but I just did not for the life of me feel anything more than friendship for them and they were crushed. If only I could've swapped my feelings for the guys I loved so they were about them! Some guys have just wanted sex, two guys were way way too old, argh...I could go on forever. It sucks and it's hard for NTs let alone us, but what can you do?

You can worry about it, or you can find other things you like doing to fill in time while you find her/him. All my favourite scientists and some of my favourite artists who I look up to were single for life so I don't care (I used to be very distressed about being single and a virgin but I don't care anymore). I much prefer on a Saturday night to go out and photograph the night life or sketch the sky and buildings then hang around in bars looking for men. My theory is, if there's a likeminded guy out there, he won't be in pubs, he'll be out sketching buildings, and that makes me happy, not waking up the next morning getting a text from some guy I gave my number to while drunk asking to hang out and I don't want to. Do stuff you like to do, and you will meet girls who also like doing these things, and if you don't, at least you will be happy :)



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28 Jun 2012, 10:38 pm

BlueMax wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
Make money. Plow escorts to break the reward cycle that makes men even bother with dating. Play videogames. Go your own way. It works.


For YOU.


You did get your kids paternity tested right? Just curious given your backstory.



Cad
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28 Jun 2012, 10:43 pm

RICKY5 wrote:

You did get your kids paternity tested right? Just curious given your backstory.


Steady on...he's thinking!



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28 Jun 2012, 10:43 pm

Cad wrote:
Rabbittss, dating's a hard game. I fell in love with someone and they moved to America and I found out later that they had a fiancee there. I fell in love with another guy who would lead me on then when I went to catch him he'd run away, then lead me on again when I came back around (happened for 3 years). Two of the nicest, most caring compassionate guys I've met fell in love with me on separate occasions but I just did not for the life of me feel anything more than friendship for them and they were crushed. If only I could've swapped my feelings for the guys I loved so they were about them! Some guys have just wanted sex, two guys were way way too old, argh...I could go on forever. It sucks and it's hard for NTs let alone us, but what can you do?

You can worry about it, or you can find other things you like doing to fill in time while you find her/him. All my favourite scientists and some of my favourite artists who I look up to were single for life so I don't care (I used to be very distressed about being single and a virgin but I don't care anymore). I much prefer on a Saturday night to go out and photograph the night life or sketch the sky and buildings then hang around in bars looking for men. My theory is, if there's a likeminded guy out there, he won't be in pubs, he'll be out sketching buildings, and that makes me happy, not waking up the next morning getting a text from some guy I gave my number to while drunk asking to hang out and I don't want to. Do stuff you like to do, and you will meet girls who also like doing these things, and if you don't, at least you will be happy :)


The stuff I like doing.. is all at home.. not out where I can meet girls. I'm sorry, but you are going to run into the same wall that everyone else has run into already, please just ignore me or else you will wind up hating me and making fun of me like all these others already do.

I really do appreciate what you are saying.. I even know deep down that what you are saying is more than likely spot on.. But I don't see any light at the end of my tunnel... I'm tired of waiting, and wasting all the best years of my life doing nothing.

I feel as if I've been stuck at 14 for 14 years.. Emotionally I'm no different than I was then.. I'm simply more cynical and more jaded.



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28 Jun 2012, 10:46 pm

rabbittss wrote:
Cad wrote:
Rabbittss, dating's a hard game. I fell in love with someone and they moved to America and I found out later that they had a fiancee there. I fell in love with another guy who would lead me on then when I went to catch him he'd run away, then lead me on again when I came back around (happened for 3 years). Two of the nicest, most caring compassionate guys I've met fell in love with me on separate occasions but I just did not for the life of me feel anything more than friendship for them and they were crushed. If only I could've swapped my feelings for the guys I loved so they were about them! Some guys have just wanted sex, two guys were way way too old, argh...I could go on forever. It sucks and it's hard for NTs let alone us, but what can you do?

You can worry about it, or you can find other things you like doing to fill in time while you find her/him. All my favourite scientists and some of my favourite artists who I look up to were single for life so I don't care (I used to be very distressed about being single and a virgin but I don't care anymore). I much prefer on a Saturday night to go out and photograph the night life or sketch the sky and buildings then hang around in bars looking for men. My theory is, if there's a likeminded guy out there, he won't be in pubs, he'll be out sketching buildings, and that makes me happy, not waking up the next morning getting a text from some guy I gave my number to while drunk asking to hang out and I don't want to. Do stuff you like to do, and you will meet girls who also like doing these things, and if you don't, at least you will be happy :)


The stuff I like doing.. is all at home.. not out where I can meet girls. I'm sorry, but you are going to run into the same wall that everyone else has run into already, please just ignore me or else you will wind up hating me and making fun of me like all these others already do.

I really do appreciate what you are saying.. I even know deep down that what you are saying is more than likely spot on.. But I don't see any light at the end of my tunnel... I'm tired of waiting, and wasting all the best years of my life doing nothing.

I feel as if I've been stuck at 14 for 14 years.. Emotionally I'm no different than I was then.. I'm simply more cynical and more jaded.


Well aren't you just jeebus on the cross...



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28 Jun 2012, 10:47 pm

Seriously, f**k off already.

Why the hell is it everytime I try to explain myself, some one on this site comes in and dumps all over me. I thought that the whole point of this site was for people who have Aspergers or other on spectrum disorders to congregate and discuss things.

I'm not offering salvation to anyone, or trying to convert people to my way of thinking, I'm simply trying to explain my feelings.. I'm trying to work out something that is very difficult for me and you aren't helping at all..