Is something wrong with my relationship?

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I'd put my money on this as hale_bopp pointed out aspies have a problem of over thinking things. This can often cause our emotions to swerve out of control. Mix this with nervousness and your going to be re-thinking and second guessing yourself and your feeling towards her the whole time.
Especially if your virginity is very important to you or just the lossing of it is important to you.

I say relax, go with the flow and in all likely hood after the act you'll likely be interested in her again. However, if you have been uninterested in her for awhile now. You might not want to go through with it, at least I wouldn't.

Last edited by Zinnel on 06 Jul 2012, 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sleeping with someone usually won't solve the problems that already exist in the relationship.

Were you ever sexually attracted to her during the year you've been dating so far?

My memory is a little fuzzy, but had you posted about this girl before and how she lives with her parents? If so, you guys might not really have enough privacy while you are staying with her and this might sort of be much ado about nothing.

I agree, though, that it could be very hurtful in the long-run to allow her to continue devoting time and energy to the relationship, as it is now. If you care about her, I would say it's worth it to give some time and effort to trying to develop the physical side of your relationship. If the thought that sounds like too much work or something you can't bring yourself to do, though, that is really not a good sign.

I am confused about how you're not attracted to her. Like, when you guys kiss, do you get aroused? When you cuddle, do you get physically aroused?

I'm just wondering if you're not attracted to her, or if you're just nervous of the thought of sleeping with her. If you get physically aroused (and I think this should be pretty easy to tell for a man) when you're making out with her, then I think maybe you're just over-thinking the sex--and causing yourself pressure.

I do agree with the others who suggested that there are men who are attracted to her right now, and she really doesn't need to change for anyone. It's not fair to her, to sleep with someone who's really not attracted to her.

And really, I doubt getting her to exercise would make either of you feel better. If you want to do exercise on your own, then it's fine to ask if she'll join and support you in your values--but not to change her.

Also--you don't have to go straight from kissing to intercourse. You can do things like making out, or exploring with the clothing on first.

To the OP, it sounds like you're not physically attracted to her, then why be in a relationship with her?

To Hyperlexian et al, women who are considered "plump" these days are generally obese, unless she's a movie star and it's the National Enquirer. If he's not into that (most guys aren't), I doubt he is going to change.

i agree that it is doubtful he will change. but she should not be expected to either. it really doesn't matter if she is obese, overweight, or average - it's her own body.

He got himself into a situation where he's either a dick or a dick. Either she loses weight or the relationship probably won't last. He probably shouldn't have started an LTR with someone he isn't physically attracted to I guess.

You don't have to be attracted to someone to have sex with them and still enjoy it. If you aren't attracted to her, you probably shouldn't get into a LTR with her and should break it off. You are attracted to who you are attracted to and don't need to justify it to anyone.

I disagree with the above. You are feeling ambivalent. That's OK and you shouldnt apologize for that. The cause could be many things and you may not know for a long time what it is. In the meantime Im surprised no one has addressed the whole issue of PRESSURE. If I was in your shoes, the pressure would be bugging me. It sounds like you've fooled around in the past and enjoyed it. So far, so good...I assume that its fairly obvious whether you enjoy it or not bcs for guys- its hard (get it?) to hide!! Ha!

It also sounds like you two have been moving pretty slowly by American standards (I myself like to wait ~3-6 months to be really sure.. and that is considered SLOW in America) .after 6 months, the frustration can start to really build and the initial drug-like rush of attraction can wear off (both good and bad! Suddenly decision making becomes SO MUCH more rational! It can be bad because of the friend zone thing (which I agree can be overcome, but not always)...

There can be many reasons for moving slowly but Im a believer that its better to move too slowly than too quickly. (Someone is always getting hurt when you move quickly....) but I dont think its inherently bad...Ive known couples that fool around and really enjoy each other for a LOOOOONNNG time like that (usually due to religious reasons- and it actually extends the enjoyment/sensuality)

OK, so far, so good....BUT NOW- all of a sudden you're supposed to make the big jump and just bcs SHE wants to?! That's not really right IMO. I think it should be a natural progression and it should feel good and right for BOTH of you. There's really no mistaking a hard penis, and that is yoiur BEST INDICATOR...I think you should move exactly at a pace that feels good and comfortable and your wee wee will know and provide you with ALL the information you need. If your little head is happy being really really close to your gal pal's love box and you guys are still friends (this could be determinde over the next 2, 3, 6, whatever months you feel like) THEN and ONLY THEN should you two proceed!! And I think it will be an easy answer!! Do yoiu get what I am saying??! ! Done correctly, your BIG HEAD should not be the one doing ALL the thinking!