Is it better if you approach someone, or they approach you?

Post Reply New Topic

id say being approached sounds better. At worst you can just go and do some approaching. But in normal you get to pick things out instead of selling yourself and hoping someone buys it.

I've been approached by 3 women in my life. All was for ether something I said or did in a group sitting.

Helping out in on some camp grounds
Making comments on a public forum
And giving a speech in a college class

All of them were very attractive women both physically and mentally. But I only dated one of them, because it does catch you off guard. My experience has been that women who do manage to convince themselves to be the "go getter" are very quick to think you're not interested in them if things don't go exactly as they had "envisioned".

Well, I tried this too. I supported many people. Some of them simply didn't want to make any progress, thy just wanted to complain all the time, keep drowning in selfpity, masturbate about it. So called emotional vampires. I still have one close friend like this, but I am very strict with her. If she starts with all that BS again, I do not answer or reply at all. I do not give her ammo and oportunity to shoot anymore.

To approache is better, because you are the one who make (first but not last) choice. Drawbacks are it is harder and uncomfortable. But waiting for "things" to get done? Life is too f*****g short for that. If you want woman, you have to swallow lost of s**t. Take it as your preparation for relationship

I wouldn't put up with any of that jazz. The female friends I used to have were more like drinking buddies, I don't recall any pity parties.



Kind of ... but the concept of "choice" is illusory here. We're all on one trajectory or another. It gets us somewhere, we learn something and deflect off on another trajectory, but there isn't really much choice involved. It can look like free will but I don't think it is. Wolfheart there, he puts a lot of effort into self-improvement, but could he stop? No, not unless something happened to change his trajectory.

You might talk yourself into it, summon up the nerve etc, but you could never have not done that, once you got there. That's why nobody around here is ever going to change in this, no matter what gets said, until they have an experience that changes their trajectory.

It's hard to get the empathy at the start of contact. It is better to bite the bullet and go for it so to speak than missing an opportunity then once you get to know each other, it all rolls off from there.