"You'll find someone, I know you will."

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"You'll find someone..."

Bullsh*t. I don't like being touched and have intimacy issues.

How the hell am I going to find someone?

I mean, I've done cyber before but he isn't actually there.

So that phrase isn't just asinine--it's straight stupid!

We must be long lost brothers or something. Everything you say I seem to agree with.

People say this all the time. I'm sick of the lies It's not like I'm absolutely sure I'll never find someone and die alone, it's just that it's not looking good for me.

I like to think "you'll find someone, I know you will" can be meant in earnest but rarely is.
I think "it might not always be easy but there's a guy / girl out there for you" is something more realistic to say to the person.

Ah, no. That one is actually even worse. There's a lid for every pot, I think they call that excuse. Pair it with a command to carry on, and you're set to insult me more than anyone has ever insulted me in my life. It's mathematically impossible that for every person there is a willing romantic partner. It's a nasty thought, but logically speaking, a lot of people are bound to die alone.

That would honestly not bother me (dying alone). And I don't know why others assume everyone "needs" a partner or soul mate.

Thanks for your point on the excuse bit. I will make sure not to say something like that to a loner in future.

Only 1 friend told me the truth of my problem and how to succeed in attracting women, and I did mock his advice before.

He told me along the lines to look less geeky, to try to wear the glasses less, go more fitness and show a more dominant character.

Guess what?


HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT! HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT! HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT! HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!HE WAS SO f*****g RIGHT!

the only one to tell you the truth. i think thats the problem. people are so busy trying to be nice they forget to actually be nice and tell you the truth

This.

Otherwise, don't expect a girl to magically fall from the sky and land on your d-ck when you least expect it just by being yourself.

*Massive facepalm*

The truth hurts. The palm of your own hand hurts even more.

Amen to that. Someday I may actually say that to someone. All the women who have said that line to me are/were with someone else but if they are single and try to pull that line on me, I'll let them have it!! !

Seriously I don't have a problem. Your negativity is really hitting the brick wall listening to cruel things. That quote is easily positive. You are not listening to people.

EVERYONE GET SOMEONE! YOU WILL GET SOMEONE! GOT IT???! !!

If you don't get it, then you never ever going to find someone. Women hates negative poor attitude guys. This is why you are experiencing problems. You missed a point. Be postive! Goddamnit!

People, not my friends, often say this to me because they think I don't like being single. I don't like being single per se, but I'd rather be single than be with someone I don't like, and as a girl, all you have to do is wear a low cut top and a skirt and go out Saturday night and pick someone up, but they won't like you, they'll like your top and skirt, and when they find out the real you they'll run away. You have to be yourself. If you pretend to be someone else, it's as bad as lying, and then they start to like the fake you. They'll realise that the real you is different and may not like it. (One night stands are different here, be as fake as you like, but I presume you're talking about a relationship?) If you are naturally nerdy and odd (not an insult, I am), then wouldn't you rather attract other nerdy odd people rather than fake bimbo/jock style people? My ex acted differently when I first met him, then he started to change into the 'real him' after about a month and I didn't like him. I liked the 'fake' him he used to attract me. I felt deceived!

I'd rather be the real me and wait for someone who is like me than be fake and get someone who likes the fake me. Jussayin.'

My friends never say this to me because they know how odd I am and there aren't many people I truly 'connect' with, that truly 'get' me, so they all know that I'm probably waiting around for someone, and in the mean time being single is fine.

From a woman's perspective, if a girl says that you will find someone, she's not outright lying to you, nor does she pity you. She's basically saying that she has no attraction for you but sees that you could be attractive to someone, just not her. For instance, I don't personally like listening to Beethoven, but can see why some people would like this sort of music.

Please, please please be your nerdy odd interesting selves! Nerdy women want nerdy guys!

It's called realism. When was the last time you were in a relationship? For me, and for a lot of guys here, the answer is 'never, not a chance in hell right now'. You can try to improve on that situation, but you'll have to accept that the chance of finding someone suitable is ridiculously low. And by 'someone suitable', I personally mean any adult with a vagina who isn't a member of my family. Such are the cards we've been dealt.



Usually, I do listen - very attentively, even. And that's when I can best detect their tone. It's easy to hear - just in the shallow nuances of their voice - that they're not serious.



Now you're sounding like a 1980s motivational coach. No. It's a mathematical impossibility that everyone will get someone. There are many more men than women in the age category 15-64. Unless you've found a way to introduce optional homosexuality to the entire world's male population, and made it possible for all men and women to visit all places in the world to find partners, including the mentally-retarded and those on their deathbeds at this very moment, the idea of everyone getting someone is a laughable impossibility. You'd stand a better chance colonising every star within five thousand lightyears of this planet within your lifetime.



You're succeeding, I hear! Tell me more about that, because else I'll go off on another tangent about being realistic rather than over-emotionally optimistic.



And for women, that's a perfect strategy. It's been paying off, after all, for 40,000 years. Just be somewhere that has men, be yourself, and several will be bound to come your way, allowing you a choice. Men have to take social, cultural, legal and financial risks just to reach the front door. Women simply have to open the door, look who it is, and choose whether to slam the door in his face, tell him off with an excuse, or let him in. Women have that luxury until a certain age; men do not. From a man's perspective, that method would mean you're continuing the tradition of 40,000 years' worth of men who died alone, and often without ever having experienced any type of relationship.



That's the problem. It's the fart-in-an-elevator syndrome. You can loop the suggestion infinitely, which has happened to a lot of guys I know. Sarah tells him Marie might like him, Marie tells him Sue might like him, Sue tells him Stephanie might like him, Stephanie tells him Esther might like him, Esther tells him Grace might like him, Grace tells him Sarah might like him, and at that point he starts to get that they're all talking out of their backsides.

This is just my perspective, not all women's, but here I go.

Sorry, but if you're an older or large woman, this wouldn't apply. Men and women both have different problems in getting relationships, and if you want a woman who's like you to like you, then I suggest be yourself. It probably is easier for a woman to find a man (I don't know, I've never been a man before and vice versa for you), but if you're nice to people chances are they'll be nice back. Smile (properly..fake smiles are easy to detect), look people in the eye (damn hard but just switch off when you do it), be genuine, be friendly. Most of the time they'll just like you as a friend or just want to chat to you, but some times you'll find someone who'll like you more.

Women like men who are forthright but are genuine. It's refreshing for a guy to just want to sit and talk rather than one who gawks at your chest or asks you home. Because women get advances from these sort of men a lot, it's hard for us to talk to a guy just to talk because we don't want to give him the 'wrong idea.' And then it's all our fault if we do. You gotta look at it from our perspective sometimes and realise that genuine, nice guys are hard to find. If all the nice guys start pretending to be jocks then what hope do we have of finding you!



No, I was talking about someone saying they're not personally attracted to you. Panhandling you onto someone else that 'might' like you is a different matter all together and nothing to do with what I said. There are plenty of guys who I have no attraction for and many are friends. There are also guys I am attracted to. I don't choose my hormones, and I'm sure it's the same for you.