Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

Page 3 of 31 [ 490 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 31  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

equestriatola
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 145,117
Location: Wherever my mind wants it to be

24 Sep 2012, 12:55 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
On this subject; what is the best way to approach a gal? I am soo nervous.....


why is taking charge, taking control a "masculine, manly" thing?


Probably one of those old gender stereotypes thing.


_________________
Hey, all. I'm just Johnny. Go ahead and talk to me if ya wish.


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

24 Sep 2012, 1:01 am

equestriatola wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
On this subject; what is the best way to approach a gal? I am soo nervous.....


why is taking charge, taking control a "masculine, manly" thing?


Probably one of those old gender stereotypes thing.


yeah it just makes me angrily pissed of



bluerose
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics

24 Sep 2012, 11:24 am

Because men are superficial and so it's a waste of time for a woman to approach if she doesn't know if her looks are okay to the guy or not.



MXH
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain

24 Sep 2012, 11:47 am

bluerose wrote:
Because men are superficial and so it's a waste of time for a woman to approach if she doesn't know if her looks are okay to the guy or not.

lol. thats like saying women arent superficial. Yet we have to waste our time looking if we have the right looks/income/etc for a girl. but nice try blaming men for something



SpiritBlooms
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2009
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,024

24 Sep 2012, 12:15 pm

I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well.

There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

24 Sep 2012, 2:23 pm

SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well.

There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.


well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

24 Sep 2012, 2:32 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well. There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.
well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with

Then why are there 'stalkers'? Why must men use money and trinkets as 'lures' to attract a mate? Why do men brag about their 'conquests'?



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

24 Sep 2012, 2:54 pm

Fnord wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well. There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.
well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with

Then why are there 'stalkers'? Why must men use money and trinkets as 'lures' to attract a mate? Why do men brag about their 'conquests'?


probably it's because what we are taught, since most women will not chase us



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

24 Sep 2012, 2:57 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Fnord wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well. There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.
well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with
Then why are there 'stalkers'? Why must men use money and trinkets as 'lures' to attract a mate? Why do men brag about their 'conquests'?
probably it's because what we are taught, since most women will not chase us

So when a 'wolf' pursues a 'chick', it has nothing to do with the relationship between predator and prey?



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

24 Sep 2012, 3:07 pm

Fnord wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Fnord wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well. There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.
well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with
Then why are there 'stalkers'? Why must men use money and trinkets as 'lures' to attract a mate? Why do men brag about their 'conquests'?
probably it's because what we are taught, since most women will not chase us

So when a 'wolf' pursues a 'chick', it has nothing to do with the relationship between predator and prey?


it's for predatory reasons



SpiritBlooms
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2009
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,024

24 Sep 2012, 3:10 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well.

There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.


well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with
But according to your own wording, both are hunting.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

24 Sep 2012, 3:20 pm

SpiritBlooms wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well.

There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.


well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with
But according to your own wording, both are hunting.


i meant hunting for prey as in to kill, is different than chasing women



SpiritBlooms
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2009
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,024

24 Sep 2012, 3:22 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
I think it's probably something hardwired into our DNA. I've read theories that in hunter-gatherer societies women needed men who were good hunters - men tended to hunt the larger game that provided iron needed by women. A man who was bold enough to pursue the woman was likely a bold hunter as well.

There are exceptions, though. Some women don't mind doing the asking.


well hunting for prey is different from hunting for someone of the oppossite sex to have a relationship with
But according to your own wording, both are hunting.


i meant hunting for prey as in to kill, is different than chasing women

Of course they are, but both require a certain amount of courage and moving out of one's comfort zone. They aren't the same, but there are some similar qualifications and talents involved. In no way did I indicate that they were the exact same thing. But read some anthropology and you'll find I'm not alone in thinking this is how we evolved. It's believed that women in some early cultures hunted, but mainly small game, and the large game that men hunted required the willingness to take risks. It was more dangerous. That was a major source of iron in women's diets.



Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 24 Sep 2012, 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

24 Sep 2012, 3:25 pm

Tradition.

You either have to adapt, or pray that you'll catch the eye of a girl who bucks tradition.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

24 Sep 2012, 4:14 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
Tradition.

You either have to adapt, or pray that you'll catch the eye of a girl who bucks tradition.


it gets annoying how girls always argue, say that "guys are hunters, blah blah blah", pisses me off too, i also hate it, it gets annoying, frustrating, on how life, society, culture, or just people in general, they always use the sexist phrases, quotes towards us guys "Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair, Grow Some Balls, Sack it Up" makes me feel like punching a guy, dude who would say that to me in person :evil:



SpiritBlooms
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2009
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,024

24 Sep 2012, 6:40 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
Tradition.

You either have to adapt, or pray that you'll catch the eye of a girl who bucks tradition.


it gets annoying how girls always argue, say that "guys are hunters, blah blah blah", pisses me off too, i also hate it, it gets annoying, frustrating, on how life, society, culture, or just people in general, they always use the sexist phrases, quotes towards us guys "Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair, Grow Some Balls, Sack it Up" makes me feel like punching a guy, dude who would say that to me in person :evil:

Not all modern women require this of men, but each person is an individual, and yes, cultural acceptance is also something that affects us. Also, to a great degree, what the men were like that we grew up with.

It's sometimes a little thing. It seems silly and superficial or even sexist, but these things affect us at a gut level, and that's why I was insistent about evolution earlier. If there's one area in our modern lives in which we still rely heavily on instincts and gut-level responses, it's in choosing or accepting a mate. Attraction isn't something you can calculate, it's almost completely feeling and instinct based. Which is why we always hear that love is blind, or stupid. It quite often is!



Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 29 Sep 2012, 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.