Why cant women do the approaching?

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The chase, also known as cat-string-theory is when you arent entirely sure if the other person likes you because they arent making things easy for you.
Apparently if you arre clear tha you like someone they lose interest[/sarcasm]
http://www.virtualsynapses.com/2008/11/ ... S8Mi-u1df4

Its usually something only held up by the 'competitors' as a way to look a better catch.

Because men are the ones that hunt. Women are the prey.

There's plenty of it happening on the other side, too. Being a woman, surely you've been with others when a handsome man walks by and you hear them chattering amongst themselves on what they'd do to him.
Any time there was a fire alarm at my old workplace, the women were chattering and preening like mad in preparation for the "handsome firemen" they joked about jumping on, etc.

That's besides the point. In 80% of all cases in ALL mammals except humans, the female initiates the mating. This is why it's a huge turnoff to a woman if a man seems to desperate, despite the fact that society has decided that men are supposed to make the first move, the second move and pretty much everything until the relationship gets serious.

I went out with a really good-looking guy a few times, and it was fun to see the other women stare and whisper.
I usually don't give good-looking guys much chance because I think it's too good to be true.

Yeah thats what those dumb books/articles about dating say. Essentially giving guys there egos, that they won the girl over. For me, I do the approaching most often and that works for me. Im not really all that good at playing the submissive female role.

Some of you may enjoy this TED talk on the power of seduction in our everyday lives

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBIL2sdfoVc[/youtube]

It isn't as if women don't have a role to play, and are just supposed to sit passively and feign dissinterest.

Yep. My female co-workers do that, but make no moves cause its the "man's job" according to them.

I can't quite put my finger on why, but throughout the entire video I wanted to punch this manipulating woman in the face.

She's all too correct about the ridiculously over-hyped elements like confidence and tempting the desires of others to gain what you want... your average person isn't very bright so socialness, social behaviour, social likability, social play/manipulation, and social popularity are far more important than a person's actual character.

It also bothered me how manipulative her discussion was, yet refused to acknowledge it as such.

Gah.... grumpy now. Good time to make dinner.

Why? Because it is a cultural norm, that probably dates back to our earliest ancestors, who were hunter-gatherers. In early human civilization, men went out to hunt wild animals, to provide meat for their families to live off of and survive. They also protected their families from threats, and created weapons to hunt with and use in self defense against other cavemen. Women gathered berries and plants for food. They also cooked the meat from the animals the man killed, and created clothing from the hides of animals, and took care of children.....................ok, you get the picture .

Ok, throughout history, man has been seen as the "achiever", the "go-getter", the "one who goes after what he wants". Women have been seen as more passive, empathetic, and more social than men. Therefore, it has always been that men are obligated to do the approaching, because men are culturally seen as assertive, aggressive, and the "go-getters" of everything.



Two possible explanations:

1.) They are surprised and shocked that a woman would actually come up to them and initiate the conversation. Since they aren't used to this, it might take them by surprise, and they might not know what to say. This in term leads to embarrassment, which can lead to anger for showing a temporary moment of weakness.

2.) The other possibility (and pardon my bluntness, I'm just stating why I believe a guy might get mad/offended) is they aren't attracted to you physically. I know it is very petty and mean, but guys who are immature will not be receptive to a girl they aren't physically attracted to. And when the girl tries to initiate a conversation with the guy, he might get annoyed, irritated, or mad.

Personally, I like to make friends with whoever, as long as they are easy going, intelligent, and friendly.

Guys dont generally get mad because of this. Only guys with self esteem probs who have to proof themselves that they are the mighty hunter, hunting the weak prey. ^^ I only can recommend you to not care for that social habit, and speak to a men if you want to.

The problem is, in NT flirting it is expected that you first give a men your approval for flirting by eye contact and body language. If you are as skilled in body language and eye contact as I am, you will have to wait a century until it works. So because of that I simply ignored that NT rule and simply asked a guy if I was interested. This will lead to a lot rejections, but the very, very, very, very few one, not offended by your behavior also are proofing by their appreciation, that they are not stubborn to NT-rules.

And being not stubborn into following NT-partnerships rules, is from my opinion, an very important thing to have at least a chance for a working partnership.

There are actually advantages of doing the approaching

For instance when you're approaching someone, you can choose who to approach. When someone is approaching you, you can't really choose who approaches you. That means, you could get hit on by some not so appealing people.

For instance if you're a girl, some creepy guy could start hitting on you. When you're doing the approaching, you can actually choose who to approach.


So if you're a girl, you will often be approached by guys who you don't like.

If you want to be approached to girls, you will have to look approachable. I'm going to give you a secret.

I want you to think of a really friendly person who is nice to you. You are more likely to talk/trust/be friendly back to people who are friendly to you right? I'm sure we can all think of someone who is a friendly, outgoing person.


So if people respond better to people who are friendly and outgoing, then we can use this to our advantage. If you want girl to be friendly to you, all you have to do is be friendly to her first. Then, she will begin to trust you and see you as a nice person and more likely to talk to you.



And second of all, you can look up all you want on info on how to approach woman but it will never happen if you don't actually try to talk to girls in real life. You will probably have to get out of your comfort zone a little bit.