What do you think of online dating sites?

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marshall
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08 Jun 2013, 7:06 pm

minervx wrote:

your mileage will vary. you get out of it what you put into it.

still, the best option is to actually ask people out in real life.

That's harder when you're older. I have so many personal peculiarities (beyond AS) that I don't think relying on luck is going to work for me. I need to search for a specific type of person or it will end badly.

Misslizard
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08 Jun 2013, 7:11 pm

^^^^This is true,I think that at my age change would be really hard,and I'm not sure if I could cope with a person 24/7.Plus,how do you bring up "Hey,by the way I'm Bi -polar!!And there's more!!". People have a right to know,but you certainly risk being instantly discarded as defective.

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Fnord
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08 Jun 2013, 7:13 pm

Misslizard wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

^^^^Sounds like the wisest choice,at least she wasn't a poser.

I think she also set him up to it - they were in cahoots over the whole "experiment".

I guess they had something in common.

A quirky sense of humor ... ?

JanuaryMan
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08 Jun 2013, 7:16 pm

Fnord wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

^^^^Sounds like the wisest choice,at least she wasn't a poser.

I think she also set him up to it - they were in cahoots over the whole "experiment".

I guess they had something in common.

A quirky sense of humor ... ?

Misslizard
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08 Jun 2013, 7:17 pm

^^^^It would be an amusing study. :lol: Primate mating rituals.

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marshall
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08 Jun 2013, 8:05 pm

Misslizard wrote:

^^^^This is true,I think that at my age change would be really hard,and I'm not sure if I could cope with a person 24/7.Plus,how do you bring up "Hey,by the way I'm Bi -polar! !And there's more!!". People have a right to know,but you certainly risk being instantly discarded as defective.

Well, it seems like a man with long-term depression/bi-polar is even more "defective" than a woman with the same. That's why I'd rather find a person who doesn't think that way. It seems like the most tolerant people are going to be those who've struggled themselves.

MjrMajorMajor
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08 Jun 2013, 8:10 pm

marshall wrote:

It seems like the most tolerant people are going to be those who've struggled themselves.

This is very true.

nick007
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08 Jun 2013, 8:13 pm

marshall wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

^^^^This is true,I think that at my age change would be really hard,and I'm not sure if I could cope with a person 24/7.Plus,how do you bring up "Hey,by the way I'm Bi -polar! !And there's more!!". People have a right to know,but you certainly risk being instantly discarded as defective.

It's been my experience that I relate to & get along better with people who deal with things themselves. We help each other out

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marshall
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08 Jun 2013, 8:14 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:

marshall wrote:

It seems like the most tolerant people are going to be those who've struggled themselves.

This is very true.

Of course then it might be hard if both partners are depressed at the same time and neither is able to cheer the other up.

jp582
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08 Jun 2013, 8:18 pm

I think those of us with Asperger’s are attracted to the online dating scene because there is a lot less stress and anxiety when it comes to messaging someone online. Not to mention the fact that you don’t have to read people’s facial expressions or tone of voice.
The problem is the internet mentality it’s all about instant gratification. The internet has conditioned us to react to instant feedback in every aspect of our lives and to always desire it.

We don’t believe that we have to hard work for anything; it’s just there for us at the push of a button. I’ve had so many women tell me that if it doesn’t work out on the first date they don’t even think it’s worth any attempt to make any effort what so ever.

One woman told me we just don’t have a romantic connection.
Romantic connection, on a first date, are you kidding me. Relationships take time to develop; we are an impatient and spoiled society.

Of course that is only my opinion.

Venger
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08 Jun 2013, 8:19 pm

Fnord wrote:

This is sort of off-topic, but ...

Back in the 1970s, a friend of mine posted three different newspaper ads under three different identities. In one, he presented himself as a devout Christian; in another, he presented himself as an agnostic; in the third, he presented himself as a somewhat "rabid" atheist.

He was surprised to discover the same women responding to each ad. They would present themselves appropriately, depending on which ad they were responding to.

I imagine people also do that sometimes with personal-ads on Craiglist. For example, they'll put a serious ad in the platonic-friends section. And then another in the casual-sex section to test if some of the same people reply to both ads who claimed only to be looking to make friends nothing more in the first ad.

Last edited by Venger on 08 Jun 2013, 8:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Misslizard
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08 Jun 2013, 8:20 pm

marshall wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

^^^^This is true,I think that at my age change would be really hard,and I'm not sure if I could cope with a person 24/7.Plus,how do you bring up "Hey,by the way I'm Bi -polar! !And there's more!!". People have a right to know,but you certainly risk being instantly discarded as defective.

If you are going to be in Seattle there are lots of people there with depression,the Grunge movement and Kurt :wink:

I think he liked Linda's Tavern.The climate may cause problems,all that rain.

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marshall
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08 Jun 2013, 8:28 pm

Misslizard wrote:

marshall wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

^^^^This is true,I think that at my age change would be really hard,and I'm not sure if I could cope with a person 24/7.Plus,how do you bring up "Hey,by the way I'm Bi -polar! !And there's more!!". People have a right to know,but you certainly risk being instantly discarded as defective.

If you are going to be in Seattle there are lots of people there with depression,the Grunge movement and Kurt :wink:

I think he liked Linda's Tavern.The climate may cause problems,all that rain.

You'd think, but it seems most women there are hipsters with 10,000 different "cool" interests. I'm fine with going along with stuff other people do but I barely have 2-3 interests at any given point in my life. I get the feeling either I will bore these people or they will bore me. I can't list books I've recently read to appear more "intellectual" because I don't seem to have the attention span to get through a book these days. When I indicate my views and personal philosophy through answering questions I get matched with people who are too "cool" for me. lol

Last edited by marshall on 08 Jun 2013, 8:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MjrMajorMajor
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08 Jun 2013, 8:29 pm

jp582 wrote:

There is a lot of validity to your first paragraph, but I don't believe it automatically segues to the second. Factor in AS, and even the briefest internet conversation can be difficult sometimes. I believe that very very few of us are accustomed to being silver spoonfed.

jp582
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08 Jun 2013, 8:36 pm

When I say we are an impatient and spoiled society I am not simply referring to those of us with AS, but all our society as a whole. We are all victims of this.

AnonymousAnonymous
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13 Jun 2013, 9:47 pm

Dating sites are a waste of time and money. Most require a credit card.

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