why do some aspie men do so terrible with women

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Charis
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Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:18 pm

Personally, if a guy is swaggering too much around me, I just wanna slap him. It's one of my triggers.

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

ForeverAloneVirgin
Raven
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Age: 32
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27 Jun 2013, 4:23 pm

Charis wrote:

It seems more like you are well acquainted with that particular segment of a population, but a bit vague on others. It just doesn't seem reasonable for this to be the whole picture.

Well I have been through highschool and a year of university. This behaviour is common with all girls.

Charis wrote:

Personally, if a guy is swaggering too much around me, I just wanna slap him. It's one of my triggers.

Because the way your brain works is completely different than those NT sluts. I honestly wish there were more Aspie girls like you around that I could just sit down and have a normal conversation with.

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:25 pm

I've met a pretty good selection of girls that did not fit this stereotype. They were all NT's except for one, and they were all pretty reasonably behaved.

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

ForeverAloneVirgin
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Age: 32
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27 Jun 2013, 4:26 pm

Charis wrote:

I've met a pretty good selection of girls that did not fit this stereotype. They were all NT's except for one, and they were all pretty reasonably behaved.

Were they virgins, shy, religous, or had a mental illness?
Generally girls love sex, even more than guys acccording to most studies.

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:27 pm

Quote:

LoL, thank you, but if "normal conversation" is what you're going for, I'm not sure I'd rank high on your list for this. Since most NT's consider me very "interesting" "unique" and "special."

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:30 pm

ForeverAloneVirgin wrote:

Charis wrote:

I've met a pretty good selection of girls that did not fit this stereotype. They were all NT's except for one, and they were all pretty reasonably behaved.

Were they virgins, shy, religous, or had a mental illness?
Generally girls love sex, even more than guys acccording to most studies.

Several (not all) were religious. If you consider autism a mental illness, then I guess the non-NT I mentioned would fit that one, but the others were "normal" NT's. They were not virgins, and pretty outgoing. They just behaved fairly decently. They would get drunk on occasion, but they weren't sleeping around with everything that moved. They had steady jobs and respectability. There was one who was chronically unemployed, but she was just having a rough time with stuff.

By the way, I love sex. I'm a bit of a nympho. But I also reserve that for someone special. I don't give myself easily. If I'm with someone, he will know he's special to me.

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

DefinitelyKmart
Toucan
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Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 35
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Posts: 262

27 Jun 2013, 4:33 pm

ForeverAloneVirgin wrote:

DefinitelyKmart wrote:

Charis wrote:

Quote:

Also you would only run the other direction cause you're an Aspie. NT girls are actually attracted to players and guys that have sex with lots of woman. It shows that he is a high status male with preselection.

Oh. o.o

i wouldnt worry the above statement just simply isn't true at all.

Yes it is true.
Otherwise they wouldn't be always having sex those same types of guys. Why do you always hear woman say guys are jerks, players, etc. It is because that is what they are attracted to. There is nothing they can do it is simply their internal psychology. They are wired to seek out the dominant guy of the group, the alpha male. Being with lots of woman shows that you are an indemand guy with high value. I agree it sounds f**** up, but I am just saying what is.

im sorry but this is a very jaded world view, i used to think it myself once.. but it just simply isn't true..
its more than body count that they go for, its the confidence...
because everyone starts out as a virgin right? so your theory is shot

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
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Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Jun 2013, 4:34 pm

TallyMan wrote:

Charis wrote:

Make sure you are not monopolizing a conversation with a discussion of your own interests. L-I-S-T-E-N

Definitely! I used to make that mistake all the time in my younger days. I never knew what to talk about and the average girl I spoke to wasn't really all that interested in a monologue about physics and astronomy. :lol:

An NT friend gave me an excellent tip: "The topic most people are interested in is... themselves." This doesn't mean we should talk about ourself, but follow leads given by the other person regarding what interests them... e.g. they mention they like music by band X - ask her what albums she has by them, has she ever seen them play live and take clues from her responses as the basis for more dialogue. Don't interrogate her though, that is just as bad. It needs to be a two way process of light conversation and ideally she will pick up from your responses things to ask you about too. The conversation will flow and you will get to know each other and from there see if you have much in common and whether it is worth pursuing friendship or more.

Um, wrong.

DUN Dunn DUNnnnnnnn **drama drum**

That only shows that you don't mingle much in social venues with NTs. The above conversation may work better in 1 to 1 case but not in a group matter.

It all depends on the guy and the nature of the interests, if let's say some ugly geek is talking about Transformers then of course the girls of the group would be bored to tear and find the guy even uglier and totally boring. But if some hot-looking guy is explaining about his Paragliding hobby (Monopolizing the conversation) while using 'cool' body language then you would find all the girls gazing at him and interacting with him.

AND

the other guy who just L-I-S-T-E-N wouldn't score any attraction.

It's all about the guy and the contents.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Jun 2013, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:36 pm

Forever, I'm just wondering....
Given that we're Aspies, and I assume you're no exception... I'm wondering if you're thinking a bit black-and-white on this particular issue. I do this alot. Actually, hypocritically, I do this to the MEN!

Wow, I'm a mess. Ima shut up now.

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

ForeverAloneVirgin
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Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 103

27 Jun 2013, 4:37 pm

DefinitelyKmart wrote:

Yes I said confidence (dominant alpha male).
Also a virgin cannot go into a bar and pick up a girl for casual sex, it won't work.
The people who are virgins usually have to get a girlfriend and can lose it that way. So it won't matter if you have sexual anxeity, low confidence, and no sexual expirence.

Last edited by ForeverAloneVirgin on 27 Jun 2013, 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ForeverAloneVirgin
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Age: 32
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Posts: 103

27 Jun 2013, 4:40 pm

Charis wrote:

Yes. There is no flexability to this. Obviously I understand that there are odd woman who differ from the norm. But a female is a female. If you're a girl then that means you are genetically female. Females base decisions on their emotional states at the time and then try to justify it later. This is why all woman will cheat and have one night stands if a guy who knows their psychology and can play with their emotions comes along.

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:41 pm

k, glad you edited that

I think you don't give women enough credit, though sadly, you've evidently had an unfortunate set of samples that has led you to this conclusion. I don't think you're getting this with no basis whatsoever. I just think you've had unfortunate experiences.

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:46 pm

I had a guy playing at trying to get me to cheat. I wasn't able to deal with it very well by myself, so I got my husband's help (now ex husband). But he helped me from behind the scenes in talking my manager down. I knew my vulnerabilities, and sought to compensate for them.

I pretty much just needed help in standing up for myself and actually verbalizing my sentiments.

My ex didn't do me too many favors, but he wasn't bad in EVERY way.

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

ForeverAloneVirgin
Raven
Raven

Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 103

27 Jun 2013, 4:51 pm

Charis wrote:

I've never had an unfortunate expirence. Never even asked a woman out on a date. Gender is determined genetically, so what I said applies to all woman. I actually don't have any expirence with Aspie girls, maybe I might find that one of them be worth my time. But now that I want to start having sex with random sluts I have been reading up a lot on the social dynamics of the hookup culture, female psychology, so I am pretty confident in what I am saying, plus all my female friends are the party slut type so I get to hear first hand about what they do.

Charis
Blue Jay

Joined: 18 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

27 Jun 2013, 4:53 pm

Diversify your friends? :lol:

_________________
Professionally diagnosed
Your Aspie score: 182 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

ForeverAloneVirgin
Raven
Raven

Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 103

27 Jun 2013, 4:58 pm

Charis wrote:

Diversify your friends? :lol:

All girls are the same. Popular, social girls, attractive girls all belong to the same social circle and do similar events. I could befriend a shy insecure girl but I probably wouldn't enjoy spending time with her. Also I don't think you understand I am not talking about personality here. Female sexuality is genetical. It doesn't matter if she is a church girl or a party girl. All woman like sex and make decisions based on their emotional states.

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