The main reason why women don't date us

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i think alot of this topic would be a good place to start your search.

Women logic:

If you don't take care of your looks, it's not attractive.

If you take care of your looks, it's not attractive either.



Just teasing gals, don't kill me.

Aspies make it awkward because they are so sensitive. They'll hint obviously at you, and yet it's like treading on eggshells, and they need so much of their own space or they go cold. That, and they hardly approach which makes you feel they're not interested, and yet they still hint at you...and then you think hey, maybe I should ask them if they want to go for a coffee. Then they get scared off and it's nearly impossible to get their attention again, even if you do give them a tremendous amount of space and barely contact them. It's like, how much space can a person want? I've noticed these guys often go for girls who aren't interested in them (which is how I am at first).

That's how it's been in my experience. I'm sure there's some misunderstandings along the way, but aspie guys seem even more warey of commitment, which isn't what women want. Disinterest, and the inability to take the lead - is a turn-off for most people.

Often as well, aspies judge people on things like intelligence and make other people out to be stupid, which annoys and intimidates people. Judging someone by their intelligence, or making out other people to be stupid can be like calling someone ugly. It's just another form of shallowness, especially as most intelligence is considered as having a vast amount of knowledge, and often intellects think they are superior because of their intelligence, which is a huge turn-off. Even if they don't, people are scared of intellects in case they ever point that person out to be wrong (it's intimidating).

Aspies are often black and white in their views of people, regarding them as great, or hating them. I admit I have been guilty of this in the past and have worked a lot on it. Aspies have to realise that there's no such thing as a person who always treats you with respect. With aspies it's getting the balance right with how much someone can disrespect you without going overboard. Cutting people out without giving them a chance to explain is not the way to deal with them. People are meant to disrespect each other every now and again. No, I don't understand why either - it's just the way it is. I guess because aspies are more literal, we are more likely to get offended, which will make other people disrespect us more.

People judge those who have a lack of/hardly any friends as well because, in my experience, there is always a reason why someone is alone. A lot of the time, the person chooses to be this way. For instance, pushing everyone away because that aspie is judgemental in some way, or they're a black and white thinker. Or they're a creep/clingy and push people away because of that. Women have to be aware of that for their own safety, because someone who doesn't take "no" for an answer is considered potentially dangerous. It also rings alarm bells when someone likes you too soon and wants to move in with you. It usually means they'll drop you in the same amount of time it took them to like you, which is immediately. Or if someone does you favours or gives you an expensive present too soon. It means they expect something back, and won't leave you alone until you give it to them.

I am rofling here.

You girls talk as if you meet aspie guys everyday and everywhere - it's a very rare condition so how it is even possible that you personally know that deeply and that much about "aspies" guys.

If you replace Aspie with "geek" in your posts here you get the same popular stereotypes about geeks; you're all talking on geek basis which everyone knows about.

I've met a lot of aspies on the internet, my friend. And I went to an AS college, and have been to about five different AS support groups.

I've met dozens and dozens of aspies.

Ner.

Most of my potential dating train wrecks have been socially anxious NT guys. Any aspie potentials I met tended to be wobbly on their feet socially so to speak, but that was usually due to naivety and empathetic disconnect from people. Different kettle of fish from awkward NT guys altogether.

That said I'm probably destined to end up with a guy with at least a few aspie traits. I've found the older aspie guys get the better they seem to be. Not particularly in a social sense, but they just seem more comfortable with their quirks and who they are than the younger ones do. Younger aspie guys (or at least the ones I see here) tend to have an extended stage of emotional adolescence, so I'd go for an older aspie guy in the hopes he's over that stage in life.

Maybe I should create a thread "the main reason aspie women suck at relationships with men"; it would be also amusing to see men doing know-it-all analysis of the aspie women based on wp and few encounters.

What's funny is I came here hoping to find a women's thread of Aspie ladies with NT male lovers. The women's stuff here is all a bunch of crap, just like NT women's stuff. :/

I've always found it much easier to identify with men than women, however.

Regarding this topic, which is very interesting; I do have some opinions. Even the many NT men I know have problems finding the right woman. Most of them even have problems finding the wrong woman! lol While our brains work very differently (Aspies and NTs) I don't think that changes our needs very much. Aspies just have a few additional needs. Patience, stability, consistency, and good communication skills come to mind.

If a woman doesn't find she's attracted to you because of who you are then she's not the right woman. I, personally, am attracted to shy men as a rule. Now and then I've been attracted to someone outgoing or "alpha" but it's been because of some other trait of theirs. I guess you could say I like the omega man! Maybe that's because I'm an Aspie woman - I don't know. It probably plays a part, but I will say this: I've never dated another Aspie, and almost all the men I've been with (except one) always had a line of girls who were interested in them.

Sure, I like a little bit of the bad boy thing but it's more a look than a behavior. I listen to metal music, have facial piercings, and wear black. Typically, I'm most attracted to the same type. That probably goes for most people. We stay within our circles and the way we look can identify our interests to strangers, sometimes. For instance, I'm probably not going to be approached by a guy in blue jeans and a polo shirt and asked to go bowling or to the fair. I MIGHT be approached by a guy in black jeans and a concert T shirt and asked to see a local rock band in a small pub. More my speed, and that's what I invite by the way I look. Dress like what you want to catch.

It doesn't seem like you fellas should have to change who you are to attract a woman. With patience, you can find the right mind in the right body for you. I really do believe that. On that note, tomboyish-minded girls might be better suited to Aspie guys. They play video games, not mind games. They tend to like a good debate and don't mind killing a spider. On a more adult note, tomboyish girls also tend to not mind getting a bit freaky in bed and are less shy about taking the lead.

That's just my opinion and experience; but I don't think I know many Aspie men in person. This is theory and conjecture.