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What does 'I like a challenge' mean in relation to dating?

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Tequila
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04 Jul 2013, 11:40 am

smudge wrote:
I don't really know what it means, so that's over my head. What do you mean by "refreshed"?


I believe I have had an undiagnosed sleep disorder that has induced permanent fatigue since I was 17.



punkguy378
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04 Jul 2013, 11:51 pm

smudge wrote:
Tequila wrote:
I did ask her recently, and she said that she likes it when men don't agree with her about everything. I disagree with her on lots of things, sometimes pretty strongly.


THAT is what is attractive about you. You're not bullsh!tting her like every. single. other. man. does. Women are sick of it.


What happens if you actually agree with most of what a woman is saying. I mean I think many guys are full of crap but there are plenty that are not. It seems some women have some kind of complex and they think all guys are full of it. When this is not the truth. And then they just assume you are full of it when you are not. I mean people are not going to like you if you think someone is full of it and you tell them. I mean if somebody genuinely agrees with you.

Honestly you cannot win either way because you either actaully agree with what people are saying, agree with nothing they are saying or you are balanced. Nobody wants a person who always argues. People seem to dislike it when I argue and they are alwasy complaining that I never agree with them. On one occasion I agreed with a girl I tried to date on a lot of things. I disagreed on only a few things. But I was being genuine.



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05 Jul 2013, 12:07 am

Honestly I wish a female could see how frustrating they can be. Men are getting pretty tired of a lot of female behavior. I mean I am so tired of the drama. Can I please find a woman that does not either play games or treat me like a statue that if you push me I will break. Honestly I like people that are forward. And with women I get none of the forwardness I need. I am not a mind reader sheesh. Enough with this already.

It just makes me want to pull out all my hair and then bang my head against one of those "bang your head here" signs. lol.

Honestly I want to be single forever. No mess , no fuss.

I mean I sort of want to just shack up with people for a few days just to try it out. I mean I am a virgin I need to lose it already and stop waiting for mrs. right. But then I feel like a dirt bag. Ugh! I cannot win. I mean otherwise you have to bend over backwards to get a woman's attention and then they say "Oh you know what Johhnny over here has what I want so I changed my mind, see ya". And then there is the type of person that is all buddy buddy and then they say see ya an then you never see them again. ugh! Bunch of liars they are.

I want something more quick and easy and then I can settle for taking more time. I mean I am not getting any younger here and my hormones are driving me nuts.

I mean I want a serious relationship but it seems women do not want this or to even give it time. They are like immediately not getting a connection and saying well it was nice knowing you. It takes months for me to feel a real connection and women are doing it in minutes. Its just not fair.

Do I need to talk to like hundreds of women in order to get anywhere?

I mean I know this going off the topic a litttle bit. Sorry.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jul 2013, 6:37 am

Tequila wrote:
smudge wrote:
Tequila wrote:
I did ask her recently, and she said that she likes it when men don't agree with her about everything. I disagree with her on lots of things, sometimes pretty strongly.


THAT is what is attractive about you. You're not bullsh!tting her like every. single. other. man. does. Women are sick of it.


Weird is that when I do disagree with her, she doesn't actually like it and gets very annoyed.

I don't fecking know. She can go to hell. I think she just likes people who are out to use her.

I would have another pop at Boo on the Ikhwani thread, but I'm a bit low at the moment.


Yeah, mocking Ikhwan is way more fun than the love and its s**ts.



lost561
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05 Jul 2013, 7:09 am

punkguy378 wrote:
Honestly I wish a female could see how frustrating they can be. Men are getting pretty tired of a lot of female behavior. I mean I am so tired of the drama. Can I please find a woman that does not either play games or treat me like a statue that if you push me I will break. Honestly I like people that are forward. And with women I get none of the forwardness I need. I am not a mind reader sheesh. Enough with this already.

It just makes me want to pull out all my hair and then bang my head against one of those "bang your head here" signs. lol.

Honestly I want to be single forever. No mess , no fuss.

I mean I sort of want to just shack up with people for a few days just to try it out. I mean I am a virgin I need to lose it already and stop waiting for mrs. right. But then I feel like a dirt bag. Ugh! I cannot win. I mean otherwise you have to bend over backwards to get a woman's attention and then they say "Oh you know what Johhnny over here has what I want so I changed my mind, see ya". And then there is the type of person that is all buddy buddy and then they say see ya an then you never see them again. ugh! Bunch of liars they are.

I want something more quick and easy and then I can settle for taking more time. I mean I am not getting any younger here and my hormones are driving me nuts.

I mean I want a serious relationship but it seems women do not want this or to even give it time. They are like immediately not getting a connection and saying well it was nice knowing you. It takes months for me to feel a real connection and women are doing it in minutes. Its just not fair.

Do I need to talk to like hundreds of women in order to get anywhere?

I mean I know this going off the topic a litttle bit. Sorry.


That's because they most likely aren't trying to establish a connection, rather see your value and looks. They judge on that & men do too towards women.



886
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05 Jul 2013, 10:50 am

That's basically it. They want to feel insecure. It makes no sense.

She knows you like/love her, so you do less, waiting for her to make the next move. She might not. Or she might think you're not interested. It's all a bunch of mind games, and, as an individual with autism, it's precisely why I loathe the dating scene as a whole. And then you think the next woman will be the same way, so you don't do as much, then she thinks you're not into her, and she loses interest.

You'd think agreeing on alot of things would be a good thing. :?

Mind games. :roll:


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smudge
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05 Jul 2013, 11:27 am

punkguy378 wrote:
What happens if you actually agree with most of what a woman is saying. I mean I think many guys are full of crap but there are plenty that are not. It seems some women have some kind of complex and they think all guys are full of it. When this is not the truth. And then they just assume you are full of it when you are not. I mean people are not going to like you if you think someone is full of it and you tell them. I mean if somebody genuinely agrees with you.

Honestly you cannot win either way because you either actaully agree with what people are saying, agree with nothing they are saying or you are balanced. Nobody wants a person who always argues. People seem to dislike it when I argue and they are alwasy complaining that I never agree with them. On one occasion I agreed with a girl I tried to date on a lot of things. I disagreed on only a few things. But I was being genuine.


TBH, I was talking about my own POV. Women can tell when a man bullsh!ts, but half the time women like it even though they deny it. Same with men. People (aspies included) prefer the idea of hidden meaning in language as it's less obtrusive. And yes, you cannot win. :(

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I mean I want a serious relationship but it seems women do not want this or to even give it time. They are like immediately not getting a connection and saying well it was nice knowing you. It takes months for me to feel a real connection and women are doing it in minutes. Its just not fair.


I usually get a pretty immediate connection within the first few times of meeting the man. However, what I don't understand with the men I meet is how they can drop you so suddenly, even if they obviously like you at the beginning. I don't understand why they would suddenly switch off their feelings like that. Liking someone and having them like you back is actually a nice feeling! So why would they just act as if you never existed? It's beyond me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jul 2013, 2:06 pm

^^ if you're so sure that they really liked you at first and every time they stop liking you then this means two possibilities: you either just go for the type who just want sex, or it's you; something about you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jul 2013, 2:08 pm

Teq, I am curious and you don't have to reply to this: How did you develop your love toward her? How long you've been friend with her?



smudge
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05 Jul 2013, 2:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^^ if you're so sure that they really liked you at first and every time they stop liking you then this means two possibilities: you either just go for the type who just want sex, or it's you; something about you.


I am sure they liked me at first. I think it's both - that I attract the type who like playing games...and, unfortunately I do think it's something about me too. Most of the guys who are (at first) attracted to me like how I appear aloof and distant. They seem to like that "game" that I completely unintentionally play. Then when I start talking to them and they get to know me, they see I have opinions and am rather direct in how I come across, which puts them off. I'm not even direct in a sexual way IRL. I'm just a literal thinker and can't read between the lines, so I assume when I miss cues they see it as playing hard to get...then when I realise they like me, even if I make a slight effort - they're put off.

My own strategies have involved ignoring them (which makes them give up) or trying to be subtle myself, which I always fail at. I've tried a mixture of both. At the moment I'm trying to lose weight and have lost 4 stone (1 stone = 14lbs) in order to make myself more physically attractive. I get more looks from guys now, but that's about all that's done. Still, the weight loss has definitely improved my appearance which has helped *me* feel better more than anything.