Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Buying drinks, paying for dinner, opening doors, blah blah..

Page 3 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

10 Aug 2013, 4:21 am

The person who invites the other person out on the date should pay. Most of my first dates came about by me asking a guy out, so I always was prepared to pay but 99% of the time the guy would offer to pay so I'd let him. I took that to mean that he enjoyed the date and wished he had asked me instead of me asking him. However, if I asked a guy out and did not enjoy the date and he wanted to pay, I usually wouldn't let him because that would just be mean, especially if I wasn't planning on going out with him again. Well, if he was a real a**hole or something and I didn't know that beforehand then I would let him pay even though I wasn't going back out with him, but usually I'd pay in those situations. I've also had dates that I was asked out on that turned out so bad, and I was so sure I would rather gouge out my own eyes than have to even see him again, I would also insist on paying for my half simply to make it clear that it was much less of an actual date than he thought.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


Somberlain
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 362
Location: Land of Seven Horizons

10 Aug 2013, 4:26 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Doesn't it just seem really silly for a woman to expect a man to buy her a drink, but not vice versa, when there is such a thing as SAME SEX RELATIONSHIPS?

Who buys the drink in those cases? If the answer is "it doesn't matter", why does it matter between heteros??

As a bisexual female, I find the whole thing ridiculous. I date men and women. I expect the experience to be the same, in terms of things like "who pays" and all that crap. For there to be two different sets of rules depending on the sex of the person I date just doesn't make sense to me. I'm looking for the same qualities in the people I date...I don't switch my thinking from "I'm dating a woman, things should be equal" to "hmm now I'm dating a man, he should be manly and buy stuff for me".

So perhaps you may say it's different for bisexuals? How so? And what if I'm dating a man who doesn't know I'm bisexual? How is he to behave?

Someone please clear this up* for me because I'm baffled.


*No, I don't actually expect this to ever be cleared up but I do like a good healthy debate once in a while :P


Couldn't agree more. If we are talking about equality for all, those silly traditions should be removed from social life.


_________________
Aspie quiz: 158/200 AS AQ: 39 EQ: 17 SQ: 76.
You scored 124 aloof, 121 rigid and 95 pragmatic.

English is not my native language. 1000th edit, here I come.


albedo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jul 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 293

10 Aug 2013, 5:39 am

OliveOilMom is got it right if you are taking someone, you pay, if the person insists that is ok, however next time you should even it out. It annoys me those the insist on paying every time, it just tells me they have their head up their arse.

There is a differnce between generosity, and reciprocation, and those that want to be the payer every time. Reciprocation, means you spread it out, maybe sometimes you pay, sometimes they pay, sometime you split it. The main thing is not to make a big deal out of it.

Of course there are those that simply want to get something, and those that are willing to pay for attention. Being liberal minded, I don't mind people doing this, like having a business relationship.

There are lonely people who like to pay people to give them attention and shower them with gifts. For the person being spent on, it is business.

In some cases they are lonely, in other cases I think there is a sexual paraphilia where spending money on them gets them off. If that's the case then fair play to them, as longs as it is not harming anybody.