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I'm so sick of this whole aspie women have it easier crap

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leafplant
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24 Dec 2013, 7:42 pm

billiscool wrote:
Shau wrote:
God, this thread is nonsense. I'll just spell it out in plain words for everyone.

The reason Aspie females have an easier time getting dates from Aspie males is because autism impacts traits critical to a man's attractiveness much more so than it impacts traits critical to a woman's.

Done. Fin. That's it, that's what's going on, everyone knows it, it's the elephant in the living room. Now, this helps Aspergirls women get easier access to sex, but that's a pretty useless thing for most Aspergirls because they only want sex in the context of a loving relationship.

So we're pretty close to equally f****. Now let's all stop bitching.


but to get sex,wouldn't they have to have an active social life.
asperger girls=more social
asperger guys=less social.
right?


So, now I am wondering, do aspie guys not consider dating and sex to be social activity?

you have to have social skills and willingness to engage socially in order to date and have sex with people - it's not possible to do it otherwise, not even with paid professionals, you still have to communicate with them somehow



Shau
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24 Dec 2013, 7:42 pm

billiscool wrote:
but to get sex,wouldn't they have to have an active social life.
asperger girls=more social
asperger guys=less social.
right?


The problem with male aspies isn't that they aren't socializing, it's that they suck at it and men are punished for this pretty severely in the dating market. Women are hardly unaffected, but until I've got hard facts staring me in the face this is what I believe.



XFilesGeek
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24 Dec 2013, 9:48 pm

Shau wrote:
You don't have to be part of another demographic group in order to understand them...


Yeah, you pretty much do.

Unless you've spent significant time in a woman's body and in a woman's social role, I'm going to take any estimation from you on the subject of the relative difficulty of the dating situation of the opposite sex with a grain of salt.

Quote:
... or are all our lovely sociologists wasting their time?


Depends on why they're sociologists.


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billiscool
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24 Dec 2013, 10:00 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Shau wrote:
You don't have to be part of another demographic group in order to understand them...


Yeah, you pretty much do.

Unless you've spent significant time in a woman's body and in a woman's social role, I'm going to take any estimation from you on the subject of the relative difficulty of the dating situation of the opposite sex with a grain of salt.

Quote:
... or are all our lovely sociologists wasting their time?


Depends on why they're sociologists.


actual,there was a lesbian woman,that dress up as a man
for a year,and she concluded men have it harder
in dating.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Wom ... 0143038702
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/se ... ve-dating/



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24 Dec 2013, 10:05 pm

billiscool wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Shau wrote:
You don't have to be part of another demographic group in order to understand them...


Yeah, you pretty much do.

Unless you've spent significant time in a woman's body and in a woman's social role, I'm going to take any estimation from you on the subject of the relative difficulty of the dating situation of the opposite sex with a grain of salt.

Quote:
... or are all our lovely sociologists wasting their time?


Depends on why they're sociologists.


actual,there was a lesbian woman,that dress up as a man
for a year,and she concluded men have it harder
in dating.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Wom ... 0143038702
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/se ... ve-dating/


Seeing as how she's not actually a man, I'm taking her conclusions with a grain of salt as well.


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Shau
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25 Dec 2013, 1:39 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
Shau wrote:
You don't have to be part of another demographic group in order to understand them...


Yeah, you pretty much do.

Unless you've spent significant time in a woman's body and in a woman's social role, I'm going to take any estimation from you on the subject of the relative difficulty of the dating situation of the opposite sex with a grain of salt.


We'll just have to agree to disagree. Simon Baron-Cohen is a very noted ASD researcher. He doesn't have ASD, but I bet he understands more about ASD than most people with ASD do. Probably knows more about ASD than you or me.



hurtloam
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25 Dec 2013, 6:50 am

billiscool wrote:

actual,there was a lesbian woman,that dress up as a man
for a year,and she concluded men have it harder
in dating.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Wom ... 0143038702
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/se ... ve-dating/


But most men don't want to date a lesbian dressed up as a man. Of course she would find it difficult.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Dec 2013, 7:02 am

Most bisexual women I came across admit that dating men is way easier and even easier to deal with during a relationship.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Dec 2013, 7:08 am

hurtloam wrote:
billiscool wrote:

actual,there was a lesbian woman,that dress up as a man
for a year,and she concluded men have it harder
in dating.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Wom ... 0143038702
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/se ... ve-dating/


But most men don't want to date a lesbian dressed up as a man. Of course she would find it difficult.


I think she was trying to date women.



hurtloam
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25 Dec 2013, 7:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
billiscool wrote:

actual,there was a lesbian woman,that dress up as a man
for a year,and she concluded men have it harder
in dating.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Wom ... 0143038702
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/se ... ve-dating/


But most men don't want to date a lesbian dressed up as a man. Of course she would find it difficult.


I think she was trying to date women.


Facepalm, of course she was. What was I thinking. Doh! :oops:



XFilesGeek
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25 Dec 2013, 8:18 am

Shau wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Shau wrote:
You don't have to be part of another demographic group in order to understand them...


Yeah, you pretty much do.

Unless you've spent significant time in a woman's body and in a woman's social role, I'm going to take any estimation from you on the subject of the relative difficulty of the dating situation of the opposite sex with a grain of salt.


We'll just have to agree to disagree. Simon Baron-Cohen is a very noted ASD researcher. He doesn't have ASD, but I bet he understands more about ASD than most people with ASD do. Probably knows more about ASD than you or me.


Understanding things about someone is not the same as understanding what it's like to be that person.

Oh, and just to be clear I agree with pretty much everything else you wrote to include that autistic males get screwed pretty hard on the "approach" phase.


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Last edited by XFilesGeek on 25 Dec 2013, 8:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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25 Dec 2013, 8:21 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
billiscool wrote:

actual,there was a lesbian woman,that dress up as a man
for a year,and she concluded men have it harder
in dating.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Wom ... 0143038702
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/se ... ve-dating/


But most men don't want to date a lesbian dressed up as a man. Of course she would find it difficult.


I think she was trying to date women.


Facepalm, of course she was. What was I thinking. Doh! :oops:


Most heterosexual women don't want to date a woman dressed as a man either.


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em_tsuj
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25 Dec 2013, 10:44 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Do you know how much it hurts getting people interested in you for your looks or because you're female, then clearing off because your aspie traits?

Because that's the life story for some of us.

I'm not saying we have it harder. I'm sure Men get a very raw deal. But You should not assume that looks or gender have much to do with difficulty and finding someone who loves and cares for you for who you are.


That's not just a female thing either. Women are attracted to me initially for several reasons (looks, intelligence, humor, charm), but I can't make the relationships last. As soon as they start to see the real me, they bolt.

I agree that it is not a matter of sex or AS versus NT. There are other underlying factors. I think attitude has a lot to do with how successful one is at dating (especially self-confidence, not being selfish or self-centered or arrogant), money, looks, where a person lives, how you treat your partner, and the type of people you choose to go after.



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26 Dec 2013, 1:44 am

How about this - some people find it easier than others. However, this is NOT split down gender lines.


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billiscool
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26 Dec 2013, 10:32 am

Alycat wrote:
How about this - some people find it easier than others. However, this is NOT split down gender lines.


or split down by severity level.the self diagnosis and the milder Aspie,have
better odds of getting dates.The moderate,severe,learning disable Aspie
have a lower chance of getting dates.

the aspie who have the best chance of dating:the mild,the good
looking,the highly social.



XFilesGeek
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26 Dec 2013, 11:03 am

billiscool wrote:
Alycat wrote:
How about this - some people find it easier than others. However, this is NOT split down gender lines.


or split down by severity level.the self diagnosis and the milder Aspie,have
better odds of getting dates.The moderate,severe,learning disable Aspie
have a lower chance of getting dates.

the aspie who have the best chance of dating:the mild,the good
looking,the highly social.


Absolutely agree.


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