Why must love be so hard?

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Achieving something easily takes away the challenge. Things that aren't challenging can become boring and taken for granted. *Shrug* My own personal experience on the matter.

She doesn't have to be an aspie. Among my friends are several aspie women and they're nice people but one time when I dated a suspected aspie her expressionless face gave me nothing to read. I think I may be better off with an NT woman

I don't believe it is impossible for me to find true love at all. However, I am very unsure if it is possible for me to experience in this life. Most of what I have experienced indicates that I should not trust that humans are capable of it. I have thought that I have found my true love several times - the latest was the worst, since we even had had a spiritual connection.... and she was so very much like I'd like my true love to be.... we seemed to be a "perfect" fit. Still, it ended.... she's the one who made me give up on seriously trying again. I just don't feel like putting in the effort, anymore, when it's doomed to fail, anyway, since I am part of this thoroughly flawed, human world. Of course, without some flaws, it couldn't actually be perfect.... perfection in love requires flaws. However, I think, perhaps, that humans are *too* flawed....




My experiences indicate that it may be no point to try, anymore, though.... :/




If I hypothetically found my true love in this life, I *would* reach a "destination", in a way, since finding my true love is the only thing I live for. And since I want to have a romantic suicide pact with her, a few years later, we would certainly reach the ultimate destination.... together, that is. The whole point of finding my true love is to be together with her, so I don't have to be a hollow shell, like I am now, but rather one who has reached the most important and beautiful thing there is.... the ultimate goal of my soul's existence. Unfortunately, the romantic suicide pact part use to steer most away from me. It's unfortunate that most people live in the illusion of the importance of doing everything to escape death, when in reality, it's impossible to escape... so better to just die young and beautiful, with an intense love, rather than a long life, where the passion for one another will have died off, over time, due to biological shortcomings of the human species. And it's not like you even die, when you "die", anyway...

women do have it easier. At least in terms of getting men to approach you. The problem is some women often get approached too often or they get approached by 40 year old creepers.


In terms of being approached by weird people, men have it easier. Men usually don't have to worry unless they're Brad Pitt.

I want a weird girl. :( Why would anyone want a boring, normal person...?

Even more reason for me to realize that I should give up, I suppose.... -.- not to mention that in just eight years, I will be one of those forty-year-old "creepers". Except I won't, of course.... I will die by my own hand, before I turn forty. Unless I somehow, miraculously, can stay young forever, that is.... or unless I maybe could become an ever youthful-looking robot. One who looks like a human, that is.... while there of course are many who do not look good at all, one thing has gotten very right, with humans, at least.... at times, humans can be extremely beautiful.

But what if they want some particular guy to approach them and he doesn't?



Is this something to do with wabi-sabi or do you just want a geek girl?

Is this something to do with wabi-sabi or do you just want a geek girl?[/quote]

I understand where he is coming from, by weird I think he means someone to talk to and can keep talking to. I'd rather have a weird girlfriend who can talk to for hours than a normal one who I will just have nothing to say to. Even though the definiton of weird is a very loose one, I translate it to "A uniqueness that is generally rejected or even sometimes embraced by society." You should be your own unique person, but it's nice to have someone to be unique with.

I don't think I've ever been in love.

Okay, fair enough.

I don't think it's as simple as deciding between NT and AS. I think there are strengths and weaknesses with both types of relationship. NTs can find us baffling (as we do them). Other Aspies can really set us off - mutual meltdowns!

All this is anyway about the first stage of a relationship. You meet, you fall in love, it's heaven. But after a while this honeymoon ends and you are left a two human beings trying to shape a life together. In the decades when I was alone, I saw it all as the last scene of a romcom - the gorgeous kiss that sorts everything out. Now I know that life is so much more complicated.

I need a guide to the bit that isn't in the romcoms - the day-to-day stuff, which is hard for everyone, but especially for us, since our emotions can be so powerful and our need for routine can be so strong. Other people are hard to fit into this. Add when I have just discovered is called "perseverative thinking" (the endless loop of thoughts, going over every aspect of the relationship) and it's a recipe for anguish and dismay.

I feel that dismay tonight. Never know what to do about it. You can only talk things over so many times. I think at present I should just sleep on things, and see if I'm panicking over nothing. It's very hard.

Just the usual fear that things are falling to pieces, and what will I do then, triggered by a chance remark when he phoned me - suddenly reminded me of our bad times, and I felt very far from him. Sleep on it, I think.

I think one of the hardest things in any relationship - especially romance - is giving up our desire for control. Being responsible is one thing, but you're still dealing with a separate individual, whose choices and desires won't always mirror your own. I love how C.S. Lewis explained it...

"Marriage is the union of two selfish and self-centered people who, in order to survive, must learn to be less selfish, and less self-centered."